Funniest Thing You've Heard on the Radio?

[Snaab]

Wanted to hear some funny stories of an exchange, put down, sarcasm, or something funny you've heard on the radio. Fire away!

Snaab

 

[dabandermac]

Was flying from PNS back to TLH.... tuned in on TLHapproach and they ask Xjet for visibility. They reply, "clear and a million"...next some other pilot chimes in, "flight info dot com"...

I lost it!

another time, down in south fla was tuned in on PBI tower, and a very high pitched female pilot (chautauqua) was speaking....tower replies, "chautauqua 5647, check for helium leakage"...

Classic.

 

[Easy Mac]

I once heard a SWA plane say "roll the trucks" at MDW

'bout pissed my pants

 

[SSDD]

Last week, during the big storm, I was at ORD, and somebody asked for runway conditions. The ground controller, who was doing one hell of a job, came back and read snow depth and such, but then added: "and I don't know what the hell the rest of that crap means."

 

[homerjdispatch]

I once heard a SWA plane say "roll the trucks" at MDW

'bout pissed my pants

Yeah thats real funny

JACKASS!!!!!:angryfire

 

[indianboy7]

Heard the other day in LA:...

Controller: Follow the Alaska 737 at 2 o clock and 5 miles...

airplane: Looking

controller: Ya, it's the one with the picture of my mother in-law on the tail.

imp: :beer:

 

[California]

At LAX

"Fedex 1234 slow to final app speed, you are following a king air 2 mile final."

"Well, tell him to speed up, I've been gone for four days!"

 

[OPECJet]

Don't know if its real, but a friend claims it is..

Female UA pilots asks for a shortcut, replied from someone other than the controller with "Your entire career's been a shortcut..."

 

[pilotkppsg]

Don't know if its real, but a friend claims it is..

Female UA pilots asks for a shortcut, replied from someone other than the controller with "Your entire career's been a shortcut..."

Heard almost the same thing near Cleveland back about a year ago, when I guess an old '83 CAL scab was on the radio and asked for a shortcut and someone came on the radio and said "shortcut, hell, you went from a Skyhawk to a Boeing, what else do you want."

 

["GO AROUND"]

Late Late one morning from JFK to ORF with no talk on NY center, someone keys up and says "I'm F**kin bored". Controller responds with an annoyed "who said that?". Silence for about a minute. "I said I was F**ckin bored, not F**ckin stupid" was the response.

Going into ATL on a miserably turbulent day at all altitudes, everyone was complaining about the bumps. Finally a Delta guy checks in on approach and asks "when do the bumps stop?". Approach responded "about ten seconds after you land".

The best.
Taxiing out in DFW, AA F100 about 3 airplanes in front of me was doing the CRAWL to the gate. Guy behind him has enough and asks ground "could you ask the American if he could pick it up?". American Capt. responds with "yeah, let me give it a little more thrust." and simultaneously opens the tail cone speed brakes while keying up and either farting in his mike for real or with his mouth I couldn't tell. About ran off the taxiway I was laughing so hard. Made the FO taxi for a while.