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Friday Thread - Favorite Pilot Bloopers

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LegacyDriver

Moving Target
Joined
Mar 7, 2004
Posts
1,691
Well it's friday again.......so in honor of the non-tradition of stupid friday threads... What is the DUMBEST pilot blooper you've witnessed?

I have two.

The first... A buddy of mine was/is a Citation X driver. While preparing his airplane for departure another jet pulled in with a female Captain who was so good looking she broke the scale. He was doing the walkaround when she stepped off her airplane and I watched him staring in disbelief as he walked himself right into the side of the X. No damage to the airplane or pilot was caused and he was so mesmerized by her that he didn't feel a thing! :)


The second... While flying ERJs one of our fine British Captains was walking down the jetway to board the airplane. The door of the ERJ is a few inches shorter than he was and he ducked to go through the hatch... but not quite enough as the brim of his uniform hat obscured his view. I heard a loud THUD and a thickly accented, "SONOFAB*TCH!" I turned to see my intrepid leader holding his head as a thin trail of blood ran down his forehead.

Apparently the little screwpost on the backside of the hat emblem was driven into his forehead. He walked around for two weeks with a small hole right in the middle of said forehead.

In self-defense I snipped the excess post off of my hat emblem with some wire cutters I borrowed from MX and filed the thing smooth. I have been known to walk into a door a time or two myself...

:)
 
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Pilot Bloopers

Ok, here's two that I was personally involved in .... KLAX has an affinity for foul ups ....

ONE -- As a new hire F/O for Golden West Airlines in the DHC-6 Twin Otter, circa late 70s, my captain and I were instructed to reposition an airplane from the commuter terminal (now replaced by LAX's International Terminal just west of Terminal 3) to Hanger 1. We proceeded to do so. When holding short of RWY 25R at Taxiway 47 (later re-named with alfa characters), South Ground instructed us "Goldy XXX, and POWER CART, cross runway 25 left and right, taxi to the barn ... good luck with Abe, there boys!" (Abe August was the Chief Pilot at the time) ...

TWO --- Years later, as a new hire F/O at Continental Airlines (post strike I must tell you) we had pushed off the gate and were holding in the alley. There was a Delta flight who had also pushed and we were both read to taxi. Again, LAX South Ground had a bit of comedy in his voice when he instructed us "Continental XXX, the Delta jet will wait for you, taxi 25 right via the inner to 27, transition to the outer". Before our flight responded, the Delta jet interrupted with "Yeah, sure ... I'm always waiting for a Continental crew to get their stuff together and get outta the way". Before I could hit the mic switch the captain beat me to it saying, in his best Houston drawl; "Ground, Continental XXX roger. You might let those fine airmen from Atlanta know that they won't have to wait quite so long if they remove their gear pins". I arched over my sholder to see the streamers still flapping from the Delta jet's gear sticks ...

Happy Friday ...

TransMach
 
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I'm a member of the Diamond Forehead Club, Council C-172, and I've witnessed several other pledges join up also.
 
how about forgetting the nose wheel stering pin on the hawker. There are those who have and those who will!
 
How about not closing the O2 door on the Challenger 604. You know after takeoff it sounds just like the RAT is deployed, not that "I've" ever done it.
 
I've never seen it happen but I've heard the stories, and as a Lear driver I can see it happening.

A new FO goes to open the door for the first and as the bottom half swings open, the FO goes down with it head over heels.
 
Learjet Shuffle

I've never seen it happen either, but I've heard of a semi-experienced Learjet captain doing it one day in Hamilton, Ontario while trying to hold his head out the door to get a decent cell signal while waiting for customs. :blush:

I'm not sure who it was, though. :redface:
 
Pilot Bloopers

Well, thinking about Learjets, here's one of my favorites ...

The Learjet 35A we were flying had the forward potty, just behind the co-pilot's seat. It also had a set of rigid sliding doors that separated the cockpit from the lav area. There was a rigid bi-fold door aft of the refreshment center that separated the foyer/lav area from the rest of the cabin.

One fine day were were westbound at FL430 on a charter taking a fella and his girl friend to LAS. The lady liked beer so she visited the lav several times. Once, later in the flight she came forward and said "It's time guys" and closed the sliders. Quite a bit of time went by, like :25 minutes when the first officer said "She's done" and quickly pulled the sliding doors open. I glanced over my right sholder, O2 mask on due to the altitude, only to find our guest, shall we say, "helping herself" when the doors slammed shut! I guess her boyfriend hasn't been getting all the VIAGRA spam mail we all get.

TransMach

-- P.S. Man, I hope I don't get banned. This could be a fun thread --
 
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We were waiting in BNA trying to get back to ORD a couple of summers ago. Sitting in the box with us was a Eagle ERJ, SWA 737, and us, ACA CRJ all waiting for the ground stops to be lifted at ORD and MDW so we could leave.

Tulsa Tower: Southwest 222 Congratulations you've been released let me know when you're ready.

Southwest 222: We'll get them both started now, please give us a minute.

-About 10 seconds pass-

Southwest 222: Tower, we are ready to go now.

Tulsa Tower: Wow, that was a quick minute! Taxi to Runway XX.

Southwest 222: That's what my wife says.
 

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