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"Family Guy" and flying

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Giggity giggity goo!!!
Oct 20, 2004
holy crap!!!! Quagmire is an airline pilot!!!! finally, something to live up to in this industry!
you just found that out?

thats the whole reason i got into flying
cforst513 said:
holy crap!!!! Quagmire is an airline pilot!!!! finally, something to live up to in this industry!

I just flew a 3-day with him. He's got some wicked gas...

Told me he was interviewing for the Chief Pilot job.

Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.

[Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall]
Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot.

Quagmire: Hey there sweetie, how old are you?
Connie: 16.
Quagmire: 18? You're first.
Connie: Mom!
Quagmire: I like where this is goin'! Giggidy, giggidy, gig-gi-dy!

Brain: Ugh, I can't beileve you're serving a three year sentance, it seems so harsh.
Lois: Well, the only upside is that it's given me time to think about why I ended up in here. I guess I was stealin' because I was so sick of the same old routine. I felt like I had a void in my life, like, like, there was a secret hole in me...
Quagmire: Oh God!
Lois:...and I was tryin' to fill that hole with all kinds of expensive objects, and things...
Quagmire: Oh God!!!
Lois: ...and I felt wonderful with all those things fillin' that hole.
Quagmire: Oh God!!!!!!
Lois: I did this to myself, so I'm just gonna have to lay back and let the penal system teach me a lesson.
Quagmire: That one is also sexual.

Glen Quagmire: Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time.

Peter: If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be?
Quagmire: Taylor Hanson.
Joe Swanson: Taylor Hanson is a guy.
Quagmire: [Laughs] You guys are yankin' me. "Hey, let's put one over on Quagmire."
Peter: No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire.
Quagmire: What? That's insane. That's impossible.
Quagmire: Oh God. Oh my God. I've got all these magazines. Oh God.

Brooke: Quagmire, will you accept this rose?
Quagmire: Really? After I drugged you and had sex with your unconscious body?
Brooke: What?
Quagmire: Yes.

Quagmire: Fat chicks need love too...they just have to PAY!

Peter: I'm gonna go microwave a bagel and have sex with it.
Quagmire: Butter's in the fridge!

Quagmire: Here's to the Drunken Clam, where they don't ask for proof of ID and neither do I.

Quagmire (runs outside in a robe): Hey guys, what's going on? I was just jerki ... ed out of a deep sleep.

Quagmire: You must be this beautiful to ride the Quagmire.

"Where there's a plane, there's a pilot! And where there's a pilot, there's a BAR!"
Giggidy, giggidy, giggigy!

My favorite is when he's in the ladies room looking down into the stall that Lois is in (he's spread eagled, holding himself up by the ceiling). All you keep hearing is "giggidy" in the distance like he's stalking his prey. Then he breaks down, "Go already!!" or something like that, and that's when the neighborhood get's down on him.
what about the episode with the "Who's the Boss" float? when Quagmire's outside and the female social worker walks up to him:

hey!! get the hell off my la-- well, hello, lips, legs, breast and ass!!!

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