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Diarrhea in a freighter?

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brokeflyer said:
BS flag just got erected and lit.
Click to expand...

Why are you calling bs??
I've flown many hours in the van and on more than one occasion in Salt Lake City while parked on a taxi way in very foggy conditions waiting for the RVR to improve so I could t-off and having to pee. I already had the brake set, feathered the prop, hopped out and did my business.
 
dustrpilot said:
I don't know, I could see it happening, especially at night. I've done the the same thing in a spray plane except it was a dirt airstrip beside a highway.
Click to expand...

The first time I was spraying, (in training in a twin)for gypsy moth, the pilot said on the way to the spray base: "you're gonna see a lot of things you you haven't seen before in aviation, don't worry, they know what they're doing....."
Our competitors were spraying with single turboprops in loose formation. Upon parking, brakes set(not sure about chocks), the props feathered, engines running, the pilots hopped out helmets on, ran for the portajohns or snacks/water, while loaders hooked up to fill the spray tanks. The pilots, upon completing physical needs shortly hopped back in, unfeathered while strapping in, and started taxiing. I think they shut down to fuel them. I think.
Paid by the acre, daylight's burning......

Yes, easily believable.

(and definitely no room for tupperware/flightcase/trashbag shenannigans!)
 
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brokeflyer said:
BS flag just got erected and lit.
Click to expand...

I've seen the dusters idling with their pilots shooting the sh!t in the fuel shack. I also watched a guy, single pilot, load a running King Air 200 all by himself. It's not a common sight, but it happens. I wouldn't try it with a Garrett, though.
 
acpilot said:
I've seen the dusters idling with their pilots shooting the sh!t in the fuel shack. I also watched a guy, single pilot, load a running King Air 200 all by himself. It's not a common sight, but it happens. I wouldn't try it with a Garrett, though.
Click to expand...

A competitor flying a Garrett powered Ag Cat was using our strip one day and got out to shoot the breeze while waiting on fertilizer. Not only did he leave it running, it was pointed at the hanger.
When he got to where I was standing I told him to turn his a.. around and point his plane in a different direction.
 
Freight dogs carry safety cones? Every leg, 4 cones and chock the aircraft, blah blah blah, right?

Well, on more than one occasion, those cones have saved the day.

A case of the bubble-guts, you say? An ill-advised last minute trip to Taco Palenque or White Castle? Well, a cone, inverted on the floor, coupled with plastic grocery bags as a liner, makes a nice impromptu #2-only latrine that you can hover over (do not place more than 20-30 pounds of body weight on cone or you may experience cone-latrine structural failure. This depends on temperature of course, wintertime Ontario cones bear more weight than summertime Laredo cones.

What's better, if your sphincter musculature creates high enough DP, or diarrheal pressure, using the cone-a-potty may result in extruding your diarrhea BACK into solid dumps.

Now you have a few butterfinger bars wrapped in a Wal-mart bag.

Easy clean up, and no detectable walk of shame. (Unless someone whiffs your walking bag o' fart).

YMMV.
 
Happened at the hotel of all places....

Checking in at the hotel after a long day in the airplane, I started feeling the pressure. No worries, I'll have a room key in a few minutes, and as long as the elevator doesn't get stuck, a brief stop in the lobby crapper won't be necessary. Captain and I ride the elevator up together, where I proceed to crop dust on the way out and down the hall.

Plan foiled when when my key doesn't work.... No time to return to the lobby as rectal pressure is well past it's maximum limitation before rupture. Quick thinking! The captain has his door open. My next move could best be described as an NHL quality cross check as I "move" him out of his hotel room doorway and run into Chief Pilot's office to purge.

I heard muttering extreme profanity getting quieter in between bouts of laughter as he proceeded back down the hall into the freshly painted elevator, and back to the front desk to change rooms....
 
belchfire said:
This thread needs a little new life...

Avoid eating in Delhi if you can...

That is all.
Click to expand...

no longer a freight dog, but i recently caught the 'Delhi belly' in Bombay. I was riding in a auto rickshaw and started having the tremors. Luckily we were close to out destination(furniture store). Had to go inside the WC, then make a uturn to grab tissues from the sales guy. they were lucky i didn't just grab a silk scarf to clean up with.
 
landlover said:
no longer a freight dog, but i recently caught the 'Delhi belly' in Bombay. I was riding in a auto rickshaw and started having the tremors. Luckily we were close to out destination(furniture store). Had to go inside the WC, then make a uturn to grab tissues from the sales guy. they were lucky i didn't just grab a silk scarf to clean up with.
Click to expand...

I think the longest three hours of my life were riding in a car from Pune to Mumbai with a severe bout of ongoing intestinal distress. It was a rather poor condition road, and I physically pressed my ass cheeks together for that duration together to prevent an eruption of Ganesh proportions!

Luckily over a week or two it was over with, but seemed everyone one of us there for that summer ended up with it for a week. One would constantly be burping too with all that gas being made, those did not smell good either.
 
Oh man, I spent three years in India and did that ride from Pune to Mumbai a few times. That road sucks. You deserve a medal for surviving that one.

Jet
 
*Bump* to the top

Many hours reading this thread. Greatest of all time.
 
I just christened the airbus last week. Nothing like a poop where you get the troublemaker out on the first push. Absolutely perfect.
 
I have no idea what I ate the other day, but all I can say is "explosive decompression"!!
 
Coming across the pond last nite I was puking my guts out and the other FO was crapping his pants the whole way. It was ugly!
 

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