Crew Fisticuffs!

[(o) (o)]

I think we should establish some rules for crew brawls, kinda like they used to have for duels in the olden days (maybe ALPA can do something about this). Here's what some of those rules might be:

1. Prior to challenging another crewmember, the offended party must clearly state "I challenge you, sir/ma'am, to a duel".
2. Since FOs are a lower lifeform than CAs, No CAs can duel with an FO. If a CA challenges an FO, said FO's CA must accept the challenge for him and duel with the offended CA.
3. Similarly, should an FO challenge a CA, said CA's FO must accept the challenge and duel with the offended FO.
4. Due to poor financial situation of most regional crews, the weapons choices will be limited. Flight cases may not be used (they're expensive). Jepp binders (with charts in them) may be used. Clip-on ties would work, so long as both parties are using a clip-on, otherwise one of the parties would have a length advantage.
5. Insulting each other's aircraft is perfectly acceptable during a brawl, for example "Your plane has 5 APUs!", "You fly a French-Canadian airplane!", "You fly a Mexican A320" etc would all work.
6. Insulting each other's airline (including any codeshare partners) is also acceptable.
7. Insulting each other's management team is not only acceptable, but encouraged.
8. You get the idea.

Feel free to add some more. I'm sure there are things I haven't thought of.

Thanks for the good laugh. that was great.

 

[oiltycoon]

its true....my buddy at mesaba was flying with one of the cheif pilots when he got the phone call about the fight....the asa captain was giving the mesaba fo a hard time about the mesaba captain being late...by 2 minutes....guy complained the entire ride, got to the airport, elbowed the fo as he walked by, fo had enough and threw his coffee at him, brawl broke out on the curb....van guy freaked out and ran inside to grab security....don't know what has happened since....

Clarification. The actual "fight" was between the FOs. It was eventually broken up by airport Five Oh. So there is no clear "winner". The captains and FAs just stood there shaking their heads.

I know the mesaba captain personally but will not release any names. I'm sure names will eventually float around the system. Besides, the XJ CA just showed up 2 minutes late and the ASA crew freaked out. (I think my buddy said he was on the phone getting screwed by scheduling and lost track of time.)

The XJ CA told me it wasn't real "fighting"- more like rolling around in the mud like little girls, slapping each other silly. But he said the XJ FO was the clear winner in the war of words during the van ride.

 

[Swass]

Everybody knows pilots are nerds and can't fight, c'mon.

 

[Speedtape]

I wasn't going to weigh in on this thread because I thought it was kind of dumb, but if 4,000 page views, more posts than the Comair investigation threads and professions of group apologies are in the offering, apparently users of the Flight Info Board are interested in this story.

The only version of the story we have is from the coffee tosser. Now throwing coffee all over someone's uniform is a pretty low move. Why are you guys encouraging that sort of behavior?

Maybe the other guy was a commuter, on his way to a job interview, or maybe things did not unfold exactly as the coffee tosser exaplained it to his Chief Pilot. This is more the sort of thing that should be dealt with by ALPA professional standards.

I think all of us hold vans for other crews, but once a great while a guy doesn't wake up, crew scheduling moves things around, or someone is ill. Sounds like some folks had a rough morning... but why do we on this board ridicule a pilot for wanting to be on time? Is it not "cool?"

I thought the purpose of this board was first to help folks with employment questions, then as jobs became less plentiful the board morphed into a good source for industry news and opinion. Now it seems to be headed towards Jerry Springer land. Why?

Fins,

You are way too logical! Since the beginning of time, when logic and smooth talking hasn't worked, it's always reverted to primal pummeling! I guess that way, there is at least a winner!

Maybe, you should take note! When your lawsuit fails, you can always challenge D.W. to some all out bare knuckle combat! My money is on the big, tall, partially bald dude! He's got the reach!

Fins, litigation is for hootchies, bare knuckles are for real pilot MEN!

Sharks to the left, stingrays to the right, and then there are the delayed hotel buses! It's still a cruel and dangerous world!

 

[Flooder305]

This is Priceless! I get a good laugh out of this thread every morning...... ^^^

 

[TinGoose1]

Anytime I want to humiliate a pilot, I throw my pocket change on the ground and watch them dive for it. If you want to drive them really crazy, tell them you tossed 16 cents when you really only tossed 12.

Peace-

 

[Amish RakeFight]

Wasn't there a fight between two pilots on an international flight over the atlantic a few years ago? I recall it being a foreign airliner too. It began over who would fly the plane and erupted into a real fist fight on the flight - or should I say "fightdeck."

 

[pilotkppsg]

Two Gulfstream fags from Europe had a fist fight over who got to sit in the cockpit jumpseat one time, I guess they were just dying to observe real airline pilots getting paid to work. That's why they can't jumpseat while in the "program."

 

[XPOO]

Anytime I want to humiliate a pilot, I throw my pocket change on the ground and watch them dive for it. If you want to drive them really crazy, tell them you tossed 16 cents when you really only tossed 12.

I used to do a similar thing with bums where I would super-glue a quarter to the sidewalk and try to watch people pick it up. hehe. Sadistic, I know.

 

[OPECJet]

I used to do a similar thing with bums where I would super-glue a quarter to the sidewalk and try to watch people pick it up. hehe. Sadistic, I know.

I glued a nickel to a desk in high school once. Same effect.