Comments that piss you off good.

[Geronimo4497]

I constantly get the "are you old enough" crap. Even got it during a ramp check after he looked at my certificate. Man, that really put me in a foul mood - till I started drinking that is.

 

[njcapt]

"you the pilot?" (While I'm in uniform, sitting at the conrols, talking to clearance.
"yep."
"You're not the pilot! You're not old enough!"

I'm 42 and I still occasionally get this one. I usually respond (just short of saying something that will get me in trouble), 'would you feel better if I used a cane to get up here?' They expect to see Peter Graves from Airplane! up there or something (have you ever seen a grown man...).

i had to stop at walgreens one time on the way home from work to pick up some feminine "napkins" for my girlfriend...

I'm sorry, but you are WHIPPED! That is one duty I will not accept from my wife - ever. In uniform, too. Yeesh.

 

[wildfreightess]

Flying freight, I get the "when are you gonna be a real pilot" question as well. Strangely, however, I've often been asked if I'm working my way up to be a flight attendant. Guess I have a cute way of saying "buh-bye now!"

 

[JumpCaptain]

This happened right after the whole scandal with the drunk America West pilots.

At the airline I interned at, we had this captain that was in her late twenties, but she was very short and looked 15.

One "funny guy" thinks he's a real comic so he pokes his head in the cockpit during boarding and asks, "So, you guys all sober up here?".

She looks back with her legs swinging and a big grin on her face and says, "Shucks, I'm too young to drink!".

He went to his seat without saying another word, but the look of fear on his face was priceless.

 

[UPS Capt]

I always got the "you're too young" blah, blah...when I flew turboprops for the commuters. Now that I'm "old enough" with a little gray hair and flying heavy jets, I now have to put up with the "Do you ever want to fly for the airlines?".."Do you ever want to be a commercial or airline pilot?" Do you ever plan to *move up* to flying passengers?" crowd. I just have to quietly laugh and shrug it off.

For the young bucks out there. Develop a thick skin. The naive comments from the uniformed will always be there. Most people truly have no idea and your attempts to educate them will most likely fall on deaf ears.

I've been around the biz long enough to see the tide turn and many *passenger* pilots are being asked the same questions about getting on with a freight company.

 

[Gorilla]

You freight dogs must face the truth... the only real pilots are pax schlepping B777 guys. Everyone else is too young/too female or simply not good enough.

Man, I'm tired of self-loading cargo. A 30 minute gate delay, which would be a lucrative break when hauling boxes, becomes an effort to squash a full-blown, whine and moan party in back. I'd say for every 20% of pax who make it a delight, there are 80% who can be a real pain with incessant complaining or supposedly clever remarks.

At Belize yesterday, a passenger freaked a bit when boarding the airstairs, because she saw condensation from the wings dripping onto the ramp. "The engine is leaking! OMG we're going to die!"

 

[dragland]

My canned answer to the "Your too young" crowd is...
Yeah I can fly, but my mom says I have to be home by the time the street lights come on.

 

[leardawg]

Went for a quick bite to eat at a nautical-themed seafood restaurant, in uniform. Was waiting for the hostess to seat us when a woman came up and asked us kind of testily "Can we please get some menus?" I said "Yo b*tch, I got yer menu right heah!" (Not really).

 

[dseagrav]

My favorites that haven't been mentioned yet:

"Does the instructor let you fly the airplane or do you just watch?"
"What happens if you break something?"
"Do they let you fly over houses or do you have to go around them?"

Of course, I am not without guilt myself; Last week I was at a convention in Chicago. Apologies in advance if the crew(s) involved happens to read this, or someone gets offended. We were at the Hyatt by O'Hare (the one with the food-go-round in the top), standing around in the lobby with a bunch of freaks in costumes, when a bunch of airline crews showed up to do whatever it is airline crews do when they get a hotel for the night. More than a few were distracted or accosted by said freaks in costumes. My friend next to me (who knows I'm a student) points out a crew standing at the counter and says "Can you tell the difference between the copilot and the pilot?" I told him "See the guy with three stripes? He's a first officer. He gets paid beans, and has to do all of the work. The other guy with four stripes, he's a captain. He also gets paid beans, and he has to take responsibility for anything anyone does wrong." At this point someone behind me started laughing, and I realized there were another two crews standing behind me. The guy closest to me looked like he wanted to strangle me, so I decided it was a good idea to go somewhere else. ^_^

 

[Metro752]

I'm sorry, but you are WHIPPED! That is one duty I will not accept from my wife - ever. In uniform, too. Yeesh.

You can say no to that? Sweet! I'm never doing that either!

 

[CrimsonEclipse]

"when do you want to WORK for a living"

Yeah, 16 hours a day in a Fokker isn't work.:angryfire

CE

 

[JumpCaptain]

...At this point someone behind me started laughing, and I realized there were another two crews standing behind me. The guy closest to me looked like he wanted to strangle me, so I decided it was a good idea to go somewhere else. ^_^

That was you!?!

 

[brianjohn]

I was in the dentist's office recently. While the dental hygientist was looking at my x-rays she asked what I did for a living. I told her among other things I was a flight instructor. She told me she had a friend who was working on his private license and mentioned "It's not cheap." I told her it wasn't and that it cost me around $35,000 to get all my licenses/ratings. Just then the dentist walked in and exclaimed "Pssshhhh. Guess how much I spent to get my dental licenses!?" Before I had a chance to answer he told me it was in the ballpark of $180,000. Then he went on to tell me his brother wanted to get his pilot's license but quit because "The requirements are way too stringent! It's rediculous what prospective pilots have to go through just to get a simple license to fly!" Without hesitation I told him "Yeah, I'm sure people would feel much safer if they knew their airline captain got his license out of a cereal box." He got a little salty about that.
Then recently someone approached me about flying his kids around Cedar Point and what-not. I told him I'd love to. He then said he'd even be happy to go up with me the next time I needed to fly and didn't have anyone with me. I wasn't sure what he meant so I asked him to give me a little more. "Well, since you're not allowed to fly by yourself..." When I tried to explain that the FAA granted me permission to fly by myself as well as teach poeple, he could not grasp that concept.

 

[avbug]

Is being recognized as a pilot such an important deal? What vanity.

While checking into a hotel a few years ago, a woman asked me to carry her bags. So I did. I asked my first officer to watch my bags. Somewhere before reaching the room the woman realized I wasn't a bellman, and figured out I was a pilot and began to apologize. I told her no problem at all, I was going that way. I can't imagine what the big deal might be.

In another hotel, an elderly lady approached me and asked what time the bus was leaving. I suppose the pilot thing to do would have been to put her in her place and denigrate her, but I found out what bus she was taking and the departure time, and then had a brief but pleasant chat with her friends. No need to tell her I wasn't her driver, no need to ensure that I set her straight about being a pilot. What's so all fired important about being recognized as God's gift to mankind?

One summer checking into the hotel we learned that the biggest discounts went to truckers, not government workers, not to pilots, not to corporate. We identified ourselves as truckers. They asked what kind, and we simply said, "belly dump." I'll take the room discount over the heartwarming thrill of being recognized as a "pilot."

During a layover at a crew base, I had several days with nothing to do. I went to the company hangar and began pulling shifts on the floor as a mechanic. The chief pilot wandered through the hangar giving a tour to some VIP's, and saw me. He didn't recognize me sitting on the floor covered in grease at first, but did a double take with wide eyes, followed by a look of disgust...apparently getting dirty is beneath pilots. Not respectful enough.

When I flew air ambulance, folks would ask what I did for a living, and I'd tell them I drove an ambulance. Usually no more questions asked, which was fine. Sometimes today I'll tell them I'm a mechanic, which is also true, though it's not my full time job presently. Again, usually no more questions.

If I'm in uniform and someone asks, "are you like a security gaurd, or something?" it's easier to respond "something like that." If I'm on the way home in uniform and stop at Walmart, inevitably someone will ask where the plastic dishes are, or the tool section. What makes them think walmart workers suddenly started wearing white shirts with a tie and epaulets, I dont' know, but rather than "set them straight," I find it's a whole lot easier just to point them to the right aisle.

I recently visited a home on my way from the airport where an elderly person was having some difficulty, and I was apparently mistaken for a nurses aid. The individual needed assistance with some "sanitary" duties, and rather than take a stand that I was a haughty pilot above such things, I found it was just as easy to provide the required assistance. Didn't hurt me a bit, and I couldn't care less if they thought I was a pilot or a social worker or a plumber. I get paid the same regardless of what they think, I'm perfectly secure in what I do and who I am, and I can't imagine anybody being so insecure or full of themselves that they grow concerned that they aren't being recognized as a pilot enough.

Good grief.

 

[minitour]

Good grief.

So...tell us...we all want to know.


When will you be finished with that cure for cancer?

-mini