Comments that piss you off good.

[UA-RESURRECTED]

Coworker: "So you're trying to get your pilots license"?

Me: "Yeah"

"But what is that going to do to for you? All that time and money and you just get a toy pilots license"....


WTF???........

 

[PA31Driver]

I've been flying freight for the past 4 years and I've been asked a variety of questions from relatives and friends who aren't in aviation.....

* So, do you want to become a commercial pilot anytime?
* Do cargo airplanes have to wait till all the pax airplanes have taken off?
My favourite.....Do cargo airplanes fly mostly at night because they are dirty?

Grrrrr....

 

[urflyingme?!]

Oh I got one for ya.

"you the pilot?" (While I'm in uniform, sitting at the conrols, talking to clearance.
"yep."
"You're not the pilot! You're not old enough!"
(This is where I always want to say something crazy, like, you're right... I'm stealing this plane, or I killed the pilot. You know, anything to get em riled up. But then again that story wouldn't pay off my loans...)

me:"Um sure"

 

[Kream926]

i had to stop at walgreens one time on the way home from work to pick up some feminine "napkins" for my girlfriend, i wasnt paying attention to why the lady was taking forever to ring me up....she was reading my ID badge. they are plastic "airline" type says what airport FBO your postition and such and she reads flight instructor......."arnt you a little young to be a flight instructor" i wanted to reply with "arnt you old enough to work as a door greeter at walmart?" but i didnt have the heart to say and just said "they give me a gold star everytime i make it back with the plane intact, so far i have 3" and walked out

 

[Metro752]

"they give me a gold star everytime i make it back with the plane intact, so far i have 3" and walked out

did you really say that, if you, you are my hero for 30 minutes!

 

[FN FAL]

Coworker: "So you're trying to get your pilots license"?

Me: "Yeah"

"But what is that going to do to for you? All that time and money and you just get a toy pilots license"....


WTF???........

In an alternate universe or a different dimension, I would have web handed the nay sayer across the throat and as they hit the floor, I would have asked them how that "airway" obstruction thingy was working out for them.

However, since those other dimensions or alternate universes are not apparent to us, you'd be better off to simply tilt your head back and utter a deep chuckle at the pedestrian dunce.

 

[Gutenberg]

The commercial pilot one really bugs me. Then I always think of something really cool to say 5 minutes after the moment has passed.

 

[Kream926]

ive also used "no im the monorail conductor at disney"

 

[silver02ex]

When I was working as a CFI, I was giving this student (about 16 years old) an endorsement for a solo x-country. His mom was standing in the door way of my office. Next to her was one of the student's friend. She turned to him (the friend) and says. "These flight instructors are working as flight instructors to get more flight hours so they can be real pilots someday" I wanted to stop what I was doing and tell the mom to get the kid out of my office. All I said was " excuse me? real pilots?" she said "you know what I mean"

 

[kingsize]

arnt you a little young to be a flight instructor"

You should have said "I'm flattered, but I already have a girlfriend."

 

[kingsize]

Oh I got one for ya.

"you the pilot?" (While I'm in uniform, sitting at the conrols, talking to clearance.
"yep."
"You're not the pilot! You're not old enough!"
(This is where I always want to say something crazy, like, you're right... I'm stealing this plane, or I killed the pilot. You know, anything to get em riled up. But then again that story wouldn't pay off my loans...)

me:"Um sure"

Here's your canned responses---

if it's an old and/or fugly woman: "I'm flattred, but I already have a girlfriend." This obviously implies that you think she is hitting on you by giving you a compliment on your youthful look. She'll be embarassed. No matter what she replies with, maintain your original thought, that she was hitting on you.

if it's a dude: "I'm flattered but I'm not gay." hahahaha that'll get 'em!

if it's a hot chick: "You are the like the third girl today that's told me that! Are you going to suggest we exchange "contact information" too?"

 

[minitour]

"Can you fly by yourself?"
"can you take passengers"
"do you just fly the little planes?"
"can you fly the big jets?"
"do you want to be a commercial pilot some day?"
"why don't you just go fly for an airline?"

...should I continue?

-mini

 

[charter dog]

No respect I tell ya!

While standing next to the check-in desk at the Marriott in Tea Neck, the guy in front of me finishes checking in, turns around and says to me "You gonna take care of my bags?" "Yeah, for twenty bucks I will" I thought. Before I could say anything, he realizes that's not a bellman uniform I'm wearing and hurries past me toward the elevators.

I'm in Vegas a few weeks ago on a sit and wait. I decide to walk down to the MGM for an espresso drink at the Starbuck's in the casino. Between the lobby entrance and the Starbuck's, at least four different people accost me to ask directions. "do you work here?" "where's the buffet?" blah blah yada yada.

Lesson learned. That friggin shirt comes off and stays in the plane! Enough is enough. No respect.

Best,

 

[Str82theNumbers]

-I caught something once (hazmat issue or some such) that a driver missed. He says, "oh, good eye, you're going to make a good pilot someday." Now, I'm the first to admit I'm no Chuck Yeagar, but wtf? How did he think the airplane got there?

-Drivers that think they know everything about the weather and what we need to get in or out, esp. at VFR-only airports. "How come you couldn't get in yesterday? Jethro, the last guy on this run, used to get in every day!" Umm yeah, I don't think even he got in with 1/4 mi. and 100 ovc.

-Regional pilots that ask, "so have you applied at any airlines?" Umm, no, I'm flying freight because I'd quit flying altogether before I went to a regional, but thanks for asking. The aviation world does not revolve around airlines, btw.

-Dispatchers that ask, "well can you run the numbers again to see if you can take it all?" [Translated: "Can you pencil whip the numbers to make it work?"]

One of my biggest pet peeves:

-People who give me a lecture about not having a degree. It's not like I don't want one for crying out loud. I'm making do with what I have, I'm planning on finishing it someday when I have the means, and yeah, I've made some mistakes- now mind your own f-ing business. This is especially annoying when said individual is a "pilot," "working" for no pay in the right seat of a single pilot aircraft. Hey, at least I'm getting paid, tool.

I try to avoid telling non-pilots what I do, so most of the annoying aviation-related comments I hear come from others within the industry.

There's a whole lot more where that came from. I could go on for hours! :nuts:

 

[Thedude]

My fav is now.....so you fly cargo, when are they gonna let you fly pax.

 

[Geronimo4497]

I constantly get the "are you old enough" crap. Even got it during a ramp check after he looked at my certificate. Man, that really put me in a foul mood - till I started drinking that is.

 

[njcapt]

"you the pilot?" (While I'm in uniform, sitting at the conrols, talking to clearance.
"yep."
"You're not the pilot! You're not old enough!"

I'm 42 and I still occasionally get this one. I usually respond (just short of saying something that will get me in trouble), 'would you feel better if I used a cane to get up here?' They expect to see Peter Graves from Airplane! up there or something (have you ever seen a grown man...).

i had to stop at walgreens one time on the way home from work to pick up some feminine "napkins" for my girlfriend...

I'm sorry, but you are WHIPPED! That is one duty I will not accept from my wife - ever. In uniform, too. Yeesh.

 

[wildfreightess]

Flying freight, I get the "when are you gonna be a real pilot" question as well. Strangely, however, I've often been asked if I'm working my way up to be a flight attendant. Guess I have a cute way of saying "buh-bye now!"

 

[JumpCaptain]

This happened right after the whole scandal with the drunk America West pilots.

At the airline I interned at, we had this captain that was in her late twenties, but she was very short and looked 15.

One "funny guy" thinks he's a real comic so he pokes his head in the cockpit during boarding and asks, "So, you guys all sober up here?".

She looks back with her legs swinging and a big grin on her face and says, "Shucks, I'm too young to drink!".

He went to his seat without saying another word, but the look of fear on his face was priceless.

 

[UPS Capt]

I always got the "you're too young" blah, blah...when I flew turboprops for the commuters. Now that I'm "old enough" with a little gray hair and flying heavy jets, I now have to put up with the "Do you ever want to fly for the airlines?".."Do you ever want to be a commercial or airline pilot?" Do you ever plan to *move up* to flying passengers?" crowd. I just have to quietly laugh and shrug it off.

For the young bucks out there. Develop a thick skin. The naive comments from the uniformed will always be there. Most people truly have no idea and your attempts to educate them will most likely fall on deaf ears.

I've been around the biz long enough to see the tide turn and many *passenger* pilots are being asked the same questions about getting on with a freight company.