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Cockpit Etiquette

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The policy is "don't." I've really surprised myself with how long I can hold it, and the duration of the 'release' once I get to the hotel room.

But if you've got to let one rip, I've found it's always good to blame it on the lav.

-Goose
 
When you need to depressurize open the gasper to full blast. A minute later say Ugh what is that smell and stick your nose near the gasper. Your unsuspecting crew member will say I don’t smell anything and you laugh and say you farted didn’t you. They will say no I don’t even smell it. You say well O.K. if that is the way we are playing this hand O.K. wink wink. Then back to reading USA today and b!+ch!nG about the industry. A few minutes later you repeat the above process and say I can’t believe you can’t smell that. Your unsuspecting crew member is now fully primed for the discharge. Let err rip. When the smell hits your nose again say a third and final time ugh I can’t believe you can’t smell that. They will say O I smell it this time and never suspect that it came out of you.

Happy Farting!
 
Just cut to the chase. No need to be ashamed. My technique- extend index finger and ask the other pilot to pull.

Sit back and enjoy.
 
It's much easier to deny, or pass the blame onto one of the other pilots, if you're lucky enough to still be flying an airplane with an engineer.
 
Not in my experience.

So you've been blasted plenty of times?

For some reason I always tend to hold it more when I fly with women. If I have to release, I do it slowly to test the strength of the odor. If it doesn't smell . . . I'm ripping them the rest of the day!!
 

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