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If it's 45 degrees in the cockpit, I don't care how fat the captain is and how all the flab makes him/her feel hot. I'm turning that knob.
F**King A!!!You wanna better temperature? There's the door.
FOs: For chrissakes why can't you just once in your life initiate a taxi/IFR clearance with the friggin ATIS? How many times has ATC asked you if you have the current ATIS? About 1 million times at last count.
Of course, the other 1/3 of the time the ATIS will change by the time we push. If it's DEN, it's about a 99% chance it will have changed twice by then.
You wanna better temperature? There's the door.
Enough time has passed, it's ready to start a new CA vs. FO thread.
To the CA's:
1. I am not "your FO". Please do not refer to the guy you are flying with as "my FO". Same goes to FA's.
2. When you call for a Checklist, you should actually be ready to respond to it. Me: "T/O data and Speeds", CA: fumbles around for 2 minutes trying to set speeds....then, "Set".
3. Quit centering the heading bug when I am flying. I promise you, the plane will not veer violently off course if the heading bug is 3 degrees to the left.
4. I could care less about your church or your kids. Seriously... Religion and Kids can stay at home.
5. Don't leave your friggin flight case on the floor behind the center pedestal. Put it in the damn place beside your seat. No, I don't like scrambling over your bag every time I step into/out of the cockpit.
6. Are you wearing cowboy boots?
To all FO's:
1. Do whatever you want short of getting us fired and/or violated.
2. Don't make this job harder than it is...
3. I'll buy the first round, how drunk you get beyond that is totally up to you.