"Called on the Carpet"

[crj567]

"This one time-at band camp....."

 

[CKS747RCC]

Never happen at XJ, we don't have carpet. Carpet requires cleaning and that is something we simply won't pay for. Wait for the all new, all plastic CRJ floors we're coming out with; made by Tupperware, can be hosed out and are impervious to both cheez-its and fire extinguishing foam.

TFF! :laugh:

 

[glasspilot]

Okay, I was on an overnight in ROA. My FA was hot and she knew it. So I put a little somthin in her drink, took her to my room when she passed out and had my way with her. I'm Ray Wally and I'm in jail for rape...


Disclaimer; I'm not Ray Wally but I know who he is and where he is...in jail convicted for rape.

 

[A-V-8]

Got JRAed while in an out station. Schedule was a total goat screw and was unsafe. I spent 30 minutes on a recorded line with the CP. He agreed with me about the schedule. He could only offer this advice: “If you feel too tired to safely perform your duties call crew tracking and inform them that you are fatigued. Have them foreword you to me.” Then I asked if he wanted me to call fatigued in an out station. He had a hard time chocking back the laughter and reiterated his advice to me.

After the assignment a genius at crew tracking removed the JRA coding from the assignment and paid me straight time. He concluded that it was part of my original footprint. Despite the fact that a crew tracker used the words “You are junior assigned” to describe my schedule change to me and a 30 minute discussion regarding the safety of the assignment with a CP.

Two weeks later the problem was not fixed despite a barrage of emails and phone calls to the CP I spoke with. He had requested that the coding be fixed. I was short tempered when a crew tracker used the words “You are junior assigned”. I yelled I am unavailable and continued to say it each time he tried to speak. He started yelling to. Next thing you know I am in a conference with the lead crew tracker and the same CP. The CP said what’s gong on? I said hey do you remember talking to me back on the first? He said yes. I said well it is still not coded correctly so I am unavailable for this one. I was excused from the call but only muted the phone. I listened to the conversation between the lead and the CP. The cp asked how many occurrences I had. The lead said none. I busted out laughing at them going on and trying to pronounce my name.

I deserved to be on the carpet for what I said. I was given advice from another CP (not the one on the call) to not be unavailable for that reason any more. Have a good reason like a doctor’s appointment or something like that.

I saw the CP that I spoke with on the phone about a month later. We both burst into laughter when we saw each other.

Two years and ALPA still hasn’t gotten me my money. Open GIR. Complete with screen shots, emails and phone records.

 

[atlcrashpad]

I gots called onta da carpet..... but it didn't match da drapes....... yeah.... bouyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy......

 

[timmay]

Because they thought I was the one who left a trunk muffin in the sleep room.

Was it a Mexican waffle?

 

[RJLoser]

Was it a Mexican waffle?

Si Señor.

 

[Tarzan]

I gots called onta da carpet..... but it didn't match da drapes....... yeah.... bouyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy......

Now that there is funny! :laugh:

 

[Salukipilot4590]

Never actually made it to the carpet but this was the call I made after some...umm...unpleasantries...

"Harold, it's Bateman, Patrick Bateman. You're my lawyer so I think you should know: I've killed a lot of people. Some girls in the apartment uptown uh, some homeless people maybe 5 or 10 um an NYU girl I met in Central Park. I left her in a parking lot behind some donut shop. I killed Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nail gun, and some man uh some old faggot with a dog last week. I killed another girl with a chainsaw, I had to, she almost got away and uh someone else there I can't remember maybe a model, but she's dead too. And Paul Allen. I killed Paul Allen with an axe in the face, his body is dissolving in a bathtub in Hell's Kitchen. I don't want to leave anything out here. I guess I've killed maybe 20 people, maybe 40. I have tapes of a lot of it, uh some of the girls have seen the tapes. I even, um... I ate some of their brains, and I tried to cook a little. Tonight I, uh, I just had to kill a LOT of people. And I'm not sure I'm gonna get away with it this time. I guess I'll uh, I mean, ah, I guess I'm a pretty uh, I mean I guess I'm a pretty sick guy. So, if you get back tomorrow, I may show up at Harry's Bar, so you know, keep your eyes open. "

 

[Uncle Bunkle]

Don't wear cowboy boots in the cockpit, or else you'll get called in for the dance.

 

[say again]

As long as the carpet isnt red, I will walk all day.

 

[RJLoser]

Don't wear cowboy boots in the cockpit, or else you'll get called in for the dance.

Did you get beat with boots when younger?

 

[buscap]

Men who wear cowboy boots, while not employed as a cowboy or at a social gathering which requires mastery of the two-step skillset, are gay. And I don't mean gay in the "preferring men as opposed to women" gay. I mean gay, as in stupid; as the word "tard" was once used.

And this post is used with full apologies to any readers who might actually be gay. It is unfortunate, though certainly not my sole doing, that the term for same-sex attraction has been hijacked into the new moniker for stupid. But I sincerely implore that the gay community take a moment to realize they are not the first, nor most likely the last, to have their noun so hijacked.

Think of it rather, as a sign of acceptance. Think about it, next time you describe a particularly stupid event as a "chinese fire drill", or other such term. And in the end, I hope we all can agree that cowboy boots in the cockpit are simply gay.

 

[crj567]

Men who wear cowboy boots, while not employed as a cowboy or at a social gathering which requires mastery of the two-step skillset, are gay. And I don't mean gay in the "preferring men as opposed to women" gay. I mean gay, as in stupid; as the word "tard" was once used.

And this post is used with full apologies to any readers who might actually be gay. It is unfortunate, though certainly not my sole doing, that the term for same-sex attraction has been hijacked into the new moniker for stupid. But I sincerely implore that the gay community take a moment to realize they are not the first, nor most likely the last, to have their noun so hijacked.

Think of it rather, as a sign of acceptance. Think about it, next time you describe a particularly stupid event as a "chinese fire drill", or other such term. And in the end, I hope we all can agree that cowboy boots in the cockpit are simply gay.

As to that point-they are especially gay when they are worn by a female pilot... If you should ever see a woman (eg: the "white dragon") wearing cowboy boots anywhere around an airplane, you have found yourself a butch-ass lumberjack.

 

[suupah]

I was called in to verify that Mesa sucks.

:laugh: