Chatty co-pilot

[tracearabians]

I thought I would give this guy a chance . He is approaching 50 yo and has a daughter in high school and a son going into his soph year in college . He has ridden the coat tails of his brothers all his life . His younger brother is a former professional bull dogger on the pro rodeo tour and now a fireman in their home town with a side line tree trimming business . Very ambitious . His older brother is a county supervisor and has been for about 4 terms . He raises cattle on the side . My co-pilot has an A & P ( parents paid for it and a Cessna 150 for him to get flying time in ) but doesn't want to do anything with that .

 

[Amish RakeFight]

How to tell a lie...

It's not just me he talks to . We are a part 91 operation so we carry basically the same people all the time . Yesterday we arrived at our destination and the pax were talking about the weather because they were on a hunting trip . Doofus hears one word of the conversation and blurts out quote : "my brother says always stick to your lies " . WTF does that mean ? It had nothing to do with what they were discussing .

A little divergent, but educational. When it comes to telling a lie, it's best to stick to the truth. Let me explain.

If you want to tell an ironclad lie or at least tell one well, you must stick to the facts. Essentially, the best way to lie is to tell the truth. For one, you won't appear as though you're lying since what you state will in fact happen to have been true and can state it repeatedly with the utmost confidence. You'll also be able to recall it prefectly in the future should you get called on it.

For instance, lets say you've a naughty penchant to cheat on your wife with a hot 20-something. It would be foolish to outright make up a story you'll forget or change the details to. Being nervous or unsure about details as you make them up will easily be detectable to the wife. Chances are your spouse will recall the details quite clearly in 8 months, too. Herein lies the danger of getting caught. Essentially, replace what didn't happen with what actually did, albeit at a different time and place, of course.

Instead of making up a story about how you were doing this or that to evade detection, recall an event and replace the transgression with the factual story. This works ohh so well. Think of a time, event or situation you were actually in and use this as the excuse. It's almost fool-proof when played correctly.

 

[GSXR600]

I work with a guy that absolutely can not shut his mouth . He literally has to talk all the time . Doesn't know it is ok to be quiet ! Since I don't respond to him very much, he calls every member of his family from his cell phone at least 3 times a day . Thats his wife, son, daughter, and two brothers . His wife works at a school and he may call her five times . This guy is driving me deeper and deeper into alcoholism ! Any suggestions anyone ?

Is he doing this below 10K? And if he does, there you have an argument to tell him to shut up!!! is the law (sterile cockpit). after 10k don't know man.....get an ipod and tell him that you are learning some kind of language and need to concetrate on the audio.

 

[jonjuan]

Thanks, George Costanza!

 

[buzjob]

I work with a guy like that.

I wanna part his hair with a shovel.

 

[Metro752]

Wow that sucks dude. Good luck with this guy.

Apologies.

 

[FL000]

Tell him that the FAA has extended sterile cockpit from the hotel van to FL410 and that you won't tolerate any violations.

 

[ILOVEBEER]

Just tell him to shut the f#ck up. Seriously. It works quite well.

 

[guido411]

Well I'm SOOOO sorry I am such a pain in your a$$! You know MOST people appreciate a good fart joke every now and then. That is, people that DON'T have a nose so big it HAS to be looked down upon to see people.

You know next time we fly together I might just take it to the next level and as soon as you say "V1" take my hand off the levers and put it right on your leg, and we aint talkin' the knee here. We'll see who's doing the talking then. After we clear 10,000 (and you turn back to your normal shade of yellow) I will begin to recite Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail from start to finish and, if there's time, ask you to join me in singing It's a Small World After All. Did I mention I sneeze a lot? I will never move my mic away from my face when I do so but when I'm NOT talking to you will be sure to place my mic in the airstream of the overhead vent.

I will, of course, remain professional decending below 10,000 again and eliminate all necessary conversation but I WILL call out airspeeds and altitudes and deviations from SOP at 15 second intervals. "Leaving 8 for 5, airspeed 5 over 250." And after we roll into the chocks you can BET your a$$ I'll turn to you, slap you on the back and say, "Cheated death once again, didn't we?!!"

I hope you get that I'm only kidding, to a point) we've all flown with guys we had a problem with. All the previous answers were spot on but if they all fail there is one more thing. . .

If there's something that annoys you so much about him, there's surely something YOU can do that annoys him just as much. Exploit that and have fun with it!!

 

[CDogg]

Maybe you should be flying a single pilot airplane?

 

[TMMT]

I vote for the alcohol, Black Label Jack you can slip that stuff right into a cup of coffee and no one will be the wiser! If that don;t work start talkin' to him about a rather nasty rash you have developed on your pecker

 

[SansPlane]

Time to man up!

Perfect example of how and why things are so F’ed up. No one wants to tell the truth. Your post does not indicate that you “said anything’ to your co-pilot and still have a problem so here is how it goes #3. Leave the room; ask him to leave the room. You’re the captain, act like one. If you want a quiet cockpit, then ask for/demand one. Pretty simple. Grow some hair down there. But if you really care, find out why the guy can’t appreciate quite time. Is he insecure? Use your mentoring skills and help a brother out. No patience to do so? Then back to growing some hair; have him fired. You state you have 10,300 hours. Show us you learned something during that time and stop posting this drivel and man-up… Sheesh!

 

[TMMT]

Liquor still sounds like a better idea...

 

[cjdriver]

It is some peoples nature to talk all the time. I don't think there's anything you can do about. I'd quit and get a FedEx Caravan job if I were you.

 

[tracearabians]

Perfect example of how and why things are so F’ed up. No one wants to tell the truth. Your post does not indicate that you “said anything’ to your co-pilot and still have a problem so here is how it goes #3. Leave the room; ask him to leave the room. You’re the captain, act like one. If you want a quiet cockpit, then ask for/demand one. Pretty simple. Grow some hair down there. But if you really care, find out why the guy can’t appreciate quite time. Is he insecure? Use your mentoring skills and help a brother out. No patience to do so? Then back to growing some hair; have him fired. You state you have 10,300 hours. Show us you learned something during that time and stop posting this drivel and man-up… Sheesh!

You must be confused . We are talking about a guy that needs to be on meds and you want to talk about my genitals . R U fasinated ?