Anyone had "The Snip"

[EUT]

The time has come... Just wondering about how long is the recovery?, any trouble sitting/flying after? Need to disclose on next medical? etc...


Thanks.

 

[rene]

2-3 days an ice pack and you will be fine.

 

[cybourg10]

I'm thinking of getting done now just so I won't ever have to pay child support. Seems like a worthy investment......

 

[Metro752]

If you have this done, does that mean you can no longer blind your significant other with baby formula?

 

[buscap]

I was gonna get this done, but the Doc said in my case it would amount to a lobotomy!!!

 

[No Delay]

Pain is minimal. I think the only thing I took was a couple of advil right after it was done.

The only risk would be picking up you flight case and suitcase. You have to be real careful picking up anything heavy for a couple of weeks.

I do remember trying to pick something up a few days after and I could feel it pull my insides. So be careful of that.

 

[Captain Morgan]

Now why the heck would you want to go and get your nuts sliced?! Why don't you cut your hand off so you don't steal or hurt anyone... better yet, just exercise some discipline when your chick is in heat. In any case, my cousin had it done, and he still is a tenor, so I guess you're good on that.

 

[N2264J]

Try to avoid horseback riding for a couple of days.

 

[Lolikoka]

Just Wait 'till the Infection

Iced up for a few days and everything on track for a good recovery. A few weeks later I came home not feeling too well; within a couple of hours I was incapacitated and getting hauled to the hospital. The doctors thought I had a stroke since I couldn't speak or even move. Fortunately my wife was with me and could tell them that I had recently been snipped and that could be part of the problem. They found an infection. Do you have any idea what elephantitis is like?

 

[Amish RakeFight]

...........

I’ll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago: I got a vasectomy. I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company.

I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that the condom was only used for birth control. Silly girl.

We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but she brought it up ocassionally. For me, this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that she was planning very carefully.

Four months into dating, I get the “I’m pregnant” talk. She’s going on and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married “for the baby”. She’s positively giddy. She has a baby in her and she thinks she’s gonna have a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.

At this point, I’m just as giddy. I get to pull the reverse “oops” on her. I figured that she slept with some bad boy and got knocked up. Good thing I was using condoms! Better still that I have a serious mistrust of women who can’t think beyond their own uteri.

So I wait a couple of days to “think about all this.” I meet her again. I say I don’t want kids and that she should have an abortion. I know where this is going and sure enough it goes there. She goes completely batsh*t insane on me. There were the usual insults about my manhood. There were threats of legal action. It was all very ugly and I was loving every minute of it.

Well, I let her stew for a few days. She leaves me nasty messages on my phone. She sends awful emails. I’m laughing hysterically.

It was time to drop the hammer. While she was stewing I was busy. First I get a notarized copy from the urologist who performed the vasectomy. Next I get a notarized copy of the TWO test results indicating a “negative test result for sperm” to show I’m sterile and shooting blanks. Finally, I get a letter from a shark attorney stating he has seen the other documents and is prepared to litigate against this woman if she continues to communicate with me in such an unpleasant manner. Also, the letter states that we will insist on DNA testing to show that the baby is not mine. I’m ready.

I meet with this woman at her place. I bring flowers and a small bit of jewelry to show I am willing to reconcile and assume my responsibilities as a new father. I also have stuck in my pocket the documents I have prepared.

She’s all giddy again. Her plan is going perfectly - or so she thinks. We talk about our future. We have some pretty good sex. Then, as I am about to walk out the door, I ask her the $64,000 question. “Are you sure that this baby is mine?”

Well, she goes batsh*t insane again. Hell, she ought to. Her plan could completely unravel if there is ANY question about my paternity. Oh, she’s really screaming now. How dare I question her morals. Do I think she’s a slut. I’m just trying to weasel out of my responsibilities… blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda.

I’m not really mad. I’m kind of embarrassed for her. But since she won’t shut up and the neighbors can hear all of this, I ask her to step back inside and sit down. She sits on the sofa and calms down a bit. She is glaring at me with all the moral self-righteousness that only a woman can muster up. She thinks she has me trapped. She is 100% convinced her plan has worked. Oh, the tangled web of lies and deceit she has wrought around herself and I am about to hack through them with a few pieces of paper.

I reach into my pocket slowly. I extract the three pieces of paper and unfold them slowly and deliberately.

I tell her simply, “You’re screwed”.

Her look doesn’t change. There is no way she can fathom what I have prepared.

I continue. “I am sterile”

Her look changes just a bit. Something is beginning to sink in. Naturally, she reverts to women’s logic. “You’re full of sh*t. You’re trapped and you know it.”

I hold up the letter and the test results. “Three months before we met, I had a vasectomy. Here is a notarized letter from him stating what I had done. Here are two test results showing that I tested negative for the presence of sperm. Blanks. I am shooting blanks. That baby inside you is simply not mine.”

This woman is not to be swayed by logic and clear documentation. “Bullsh*t, those are fakes.”

I was ready for that. “No, they are real. This last piece of paper is from my attorney. It’s a simple letter to you that states if you pursue any kind of legal action against me for child support that I will insist on a DNA test to prove paternity, that is, to prove that your baby is not mine.”

I give the woman all the documents. She reads them slowly, deliberately. With each passing second she can feel in her soul that she has made a very bad mistake. With denial swept away, she started to cry. It’s a small cry at first. Then it becomes deeper and more painful. By the time she gets to the letter from the lawyer she is sobbing.

I had no sympathy for her. I turned and walked out the door. Even after I closed the door I could still hear her sobbing.

Epilogue -

I never heard directly from this woman again. I did hear through my friends that she did indeed have the baby. I also heard that the real father was some guy in a band she had met. I assumed that after 30, women stopped going after musicians, bikers, criminals, and thugs. Silly me for thinking the best of American women.

The Moral of the Story -

Get a vasectomy but keep it a secret.

 

[Captain Morgan]

What an outstanding story... I have the biggest grin on my face in a long time! :beer:

 

[Metro752]

wow that is so awesome

 

[Stifler's Mom]

Try to avoid horseback riding for a couple of days.

That reminded me of this clip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ux7kGAybd8I

 

[gangdev]

Seriously consider this first.

I had the procedure done nearly four years ago. It turned out to be the worst decision I ever made. Taking a perfectly healthy organ that produces millions of sperm on a daily basis and blocking off the only means of it leaving is a fundamentally flawed concept.

I started getting PVPS (post vasectomy pain syndrome) about a year ago, when my left epididymis blew out (an inevitable outcome of a close-ended vasectomy), which, short term and long term, can lead to many health issues. The following web sites have more informationon:

vasectomypain.org
dontfixit.org

DO YOUR RESEARCH. Granted, some men have this done and have little to no problems with it. Some men are very happy about it, and that is great. Many urologists would tell you that it is a perfectly safe procedure, and that sperm is harmlessly re-absorbed into the body, etc. This is what my doctor told me. He never told me about epididymal blow-out, sperm granuloma, auto-immune disorder, changes in ejaculatory response (it felt like stopping a sneeze midway) or the increased risk of prostate/testicular cancer.

He certainly did not tell me that some men, after trying everything, finally have their testicle(s) removed to alleviate PVPS. Had I known what so many men go through, had I been told the truth, I would never have done it. But as is often the case, our medical system has prioritized profit over prevention, and thus the truth is swept under the rug.

My advice: leave your body the way it is. DO NOT violate the sperm-blood barrier. It is built that way for a reason. If you are serious about birth control, look into Essure, a new procedure for women that does not cut body aparts away from eachother (you should still research this however).
Another good option is the Ladycomp, a fertilization computer which has the same reliability as the pill, without the drugs or surgery.

Draw your own conclusion about it, but if I were you, I would drop the topic like a hot rock. How I wish I can be in your shoes - with a reproductive system that has not been tampered with and damaged. Be happy with what you have, and that it works as intended.

 

[mtsupilot376]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt2i0ts-uck

 

[PooPooPants]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt2i0ts-uck

I just pissed myself!!!

 

[aussieflyboy]

The time has come... Just wondering about how long is the recovery?, any trouble sitting/flying after? Need to disclose on next medical? etc...


Thanks.

Are you talking about going from Frank to Francesca?

 

[NCFlyer]

The time has come... Just wondering about how long is the recovery?, any trouble sitting/flying after? Need to disclose on next medical? etc...Thanks.

There are just to many jokes waiting to be said. You should see the looks I get when I tell people that I bought a "Do It Yourself At Home Kit" off E-Bay!

Had it done 11 years ago, uneventful.

Painful - no, uncomfortable & tender - yes.

Doc recommended 4 days off work. Suggested the surgery on Thurs & take a 4 day weekend. I was on a stretch of 7 days off when I had it done, then went back to work as scheduled.

FAA issues? None.

Just report it on your next regular AME exam. Then on subsequent exams you can check the "yes" box but state "previously reported".

 

[flyburg]

Just did it myself last week and f@ck me, I belong to the 1 percent that get's an inflamation.

On the upswing, things have never looked tighter down there (on account of swelling)

Oh well, hopefully the antibiotics will work and the missus feels so quilty I'm getting a lot of credits out of this one!!

 

[plunger]

Be a real man, make her get fixed