You might be frieght trash if....

[starcheck1]

What's the freq. for "Coast to Coast"? My favorite is the hog futures reports on 1300 on my way to KC.

Anybody interested in some cheap early morning entertainment on the ADF with Coast to Coast check out:
http://www.coasttocoastam.com/info/wheretolisten.html
.....just click on the state your in and enjoy the crazy people of america.

 

[LJDRVR]

From my days as Caravan trash:

If you yell at the FBO employees for not publishing a NOTAM concerning the vending machine being INOP. (You would have diverted)

If, after loading your A/C in the month of december, the UPS dude asks "how much can you carry today?" you reply: "3000 pounds." He smiles, writes 3000 pounds on your manifest and wishes you good day. As you accelerate down the runway towards Vr, you have to run copious amounts amounts of nose down trim to keep the A/C on the runway. "M_____ F_____!"

You discover these cuts and lacerations on your hands, and don't know how they got there.

The UPS guys actually has the nerve to ask you if you want the box of honey bees in the cockpit with you!? "No, let's put those in the pod please."

You learned how to operate weather Radar by picking your way through level fours and fives with the autopilot engaged while you used the Archie Trammel brochure to figure out how to adjust the tilt properly.

You might be freight trash if you've ever wanted to ask center for a block of altitude as you got booted up and down several hundred feet in a thunderstorm, but couldn't, because the EMI on the radio was too bad inside the cell.

My favorite comes from a guy I used to fly with. He had a stack fire starting the Pratt in his Twin Beech. He sucked it out, shut down and called the owner, who had him fire it up, takeoff, then feather and secure the engine and bring it home. Yeah baby!!

 

[210FR8DOG]

If you've ever put a potato in aluminum foil on the engine so you can have a hot meal when you land!! Don't forget the butter!

when you hear "........memphis center 133.85" and you have to ask your buddies on 123.45 was that for me or one of you guys?

 

[LearLove]

"You learned how to operate weather Radar by picking your way through level fours and fives with the autopilot engaged while you used the Archie Trammel brochure to figure out how to adjust the tilt properly."

Been there..... but at the same time I learned that the autopilot didn't work.

Hey starcheck1, where can I get the large pic of your avatar?

 

[GLSoar]

U forgot one

U might be a.....if

You leave the FBO for the parking lot and then the FBO brings out the freshly baked cookies.

 

[ASADFW7]

Additional You might be ...

You might be a frieght pilot...


Your log book has the exact same block time for each round trip, regardless of whether you did an approach or not, after a while you figure it just averages out.

You launch VFR, so you don't have to waste time getting home flying the STAR, besides you lost it somewhere in the bottom of your flight bag. And you offically launched and lost the search crew looking for the darn thing. I think they are still out there.

You fly like a blind mother-trucker trying to get to CVG DHL before all the bunks are taken, when you get there you launch upstairs faster then Jessie Owen to mark your territory for the next few hours. And you have seen better fights upstairs in the bunk room then on pay-for-view. As well you curse the safety inspector who insists you have a glowing red exit sign above the door, for those who have gotten there later then expected.

You have the hots for FBO girls and their magestic beauty in the wee hours of the morning. Wondering how the keep all that flesh inside such tight pieces of clothing. I.E. the hispanic woman in Midland, a major league chest, one button away from heaven.

You get hired on the assumption you are going to flying out of your domicle but only actually fly out of home, enough time to wash and clean your clothes in the first six months. The chief pilot himself can say all of this in a straight face, "If I told you the truth do you think it would have made a difference?"

You get hired to fly a run the company lost six months ago, but the hiring department gets the "bodies in the door, and the asses in the seats."

You know full well the 300' feet will set off the altitude alarm at ATC, and while doing your paperwork, without autopilot you skirt up to 250' before you trim it slightly in the other direction.


You have to jumpseat shamelessly on company business. and when you try to jumpseat for your own purposes your not on the approved list, but you are so good at playing dumb and sweet talking the airline agents they pity you and take you any way.

Your pay for hours FO, who is afraid of WX, Icing, and can't fly to save his life, just got hired @ COEX, and you can't get an interview.

ATC asks how was that storm you just penetrated through tornado alley, and you reply, " It was better then a three dollar ride at the county fair!"

You call in your times to your company and they ask, " Your on the ground, my God we knew you where crazy ...."

Your girlfriend knows not to make any plans more then 24 hours in advance.

Your company considers Dickies the offical company approved dress pant.

Your company retires the blue shirts after sorting out they don't come in extra long, and there is more ass crack around the ramp, then a plumbers convention.

And sadly and respectfully, you have flown long enough to respect and appreciate the risks that we take and the planes we fly may have a humorus side. But deep down each time a Caravan, a 402, or another plane crashes you have real faces behind the article in the paper, if it makes the paper, and a part of you cries out to no one, but hates the crap that goes on.


To my friends that have been lost, God Bless.

 

[skyjocque]

You might be a freight dog if ATC keeps asking you to repeat your last transmission; because when your head keeps hitting the roof, it hard to speak clearly.

 

[sewerpiper]

Haha this is a good topic, i got a few
You might be freight trash if:
1. You dig through the garbage in the airport lounge to get out the apples and yogurt out of DHL's catering boxes. (come on guys, that stuff is good for ya!)
2. If the weather is rapidly deteriating(going below mins), you don't call tower until AFTER you are FAF inbound, no matter how many times they are calling you.
3. You cross the FAF at over 13,000 feet AGL and still make the straight in all the while tower is asking if you need to circle to another runway. Tower then informs you your the record holder for this event.
4. Your on the brakes and reverse before you even touch down to make that first taxi-way.

 

[210FR8DOG]

Your airspeed comes alive on the taxi out to the runway.

 

[AK737FO]

Memories!

From my days as Caravan trash:

If, after loading your A/C in the month of december, the UPS dude asks "how much can you carry today?" you reply: "3000 pounds." He smiles, writes 3000 pounds on your manifest and wishes you good day. As you accelerate down the runway towards Vr, you have to run copious amounts amounts of nose down trim to keep the A/C on the runway. "M_____ F_____!"

You discover these cuts and lacerations on your hands, and don't know how they got there."


Dude you are bringing back some serious memories! Those UPS leads were notorious for that. After one night of flying a 1900 with full nose down trim and forward pressure on the yolk for a 3 hour flight - I learned my lesson. Every night they would ask - how much can you carry? And my response was always - how much do you have? Some of the leads would get grumpy - but I wouldn't tell them what I could carry until after they told me how much they had. I was not about to give them another chance to try and kill me.

I remember blood all over the boxes one day while loading up the mighty Ho, and I yelled at the UPS guy about it, only to notice that it was me! Now how did that happen? Might need a compression wrap for that one...

Good times, good memorys, glad its behind me!
Fly safe brother FR8 Dawgs!

 

[belchfire]

you can take the freightdawg out of the
freighter, but if you can get 'im to shine 'is
boots, ya got something!!!

the after takeoff check is gearup flaps up
light up...

you crack your first beer before the morning
rush hour starts, to wash down the leftovers
from someone that got supper last night...

Charlotte approach says when you check on
"You're number one...er...the only one for the
airport, cleared to land 36 right, taxi to the ramp
with me"...

The FNG is worried about the wx and you tell him
it's not bad, the scale only hit the overhead once...

My Zippo's felt is stained bluegreen!!!

You don't cuss the guy that left the spitcup behind,
cause it might have been you...

Your idea of avoiding weather is to descend to 2500msl
so you can see the lightning coming out of the bases...

you worry if there ISN'T a puddle under the engines...

500 and two is good VFR...(Bethel AK)...

You know that freezing fog can form at -29F in
30 kt wind...you've seen it!

Nobody but the FAA ever wants to look at your plane...

You help with the 100hr just so someone will lube
the gear fittings (YOU)...

You don't envy the regional airline types, 'cause you see
them taxi out at the buttcrack of dawn when noone should
be awake...

Gad but sometimes I miss it!!! Keep the dirty...er...dirtiest
side down and get some sleep!!!

 

[ATRCAPT]

Might be a freight dog...

....if when the weather is bad the fighter jocks, and airline drivers wait to see if you're going to go.


...you are forced to park behind the main hangar at the FBO because your airplane is somewhat of an eyesore.

 

[colored_airman]

If there is a ground hold in CLT and your company want you to go to Concord then divert to CLT.

One ATC guy controls everything: clearance, ground, tower, and approach.

You get a clearance to land 30 miles out

Your idea of de-icing is having a broom handy.

You use the strike finder as a TCAS to pick up the strobes from other aircraft.

If you have to ditch and you don't like what you see, turn the landing lights off.

You spend part of your waking day eating at the all-you-can-eat buffet for $3.99.

The keys to your home is the same to your airplane.

If being a freight dawg is wrong I don't want to be right.

 

[Low & Slow]

Might be freight trash/dog if...

You request a block altititude to work on paperwork.(no autopilot)

 

[ShinerBocknabtl]

You might be a redneck freightdawg if.....

you carry a 5 gal. bucket and a trash bag for a lavatory

your co-workers b*tch about finding your spitter

you have a static cling number 3 or 8 on your windows

if you laugh your a** off everytime you hear the callsign "show me"

if ATC is getting pissy cause your readbacks are too drawn out

if you know the max weight that Ozark Trail hammock from Wal-Mart will hold as you string it up in your cargo zones

and lastly, if you constantly look down into that pitch black void and wonder what Macgyver would do if he had to set a plane down out there.

 

[OPECJet]

You read your charts by all the warning lights on the panel.

You have more tropical storm and hurricane penetrations than the Air Force.

You turn off the radar because it looks like someone spilled red paint on it.

You think TCAS, and GPWS are medical terms.

You have to swing the gear a few times to make the unsafe light go out.

You pull circuit breakers to turn the warning lights off... After you're done reading your charts...

You conduct an "overspeed check" on every departure.
(Above 10,000 of course....)

Controllers know you by name, but have never seen your face.

You don't remember what your wife looks like.

Owls are your alarm clock instead of roosters.

People think you actually make good money because, "You're a pilot".

You "check the gas, and fill the oil" at every stop.

You're on the EPA's most wanted list. (a couple for you radial guys out there).

 

[Wankel7]

You pay your rent weeks in advance (Who knows when you will be home next)

You can't get the cargo plane smell out of your work cloths.

Hotel staff knows you by first name.

Amazed at how long your houseplants can live with water.

Have trouble remembering your home phone number.

You carry your own, "Do not disturb" sign.

Center says, "For the last time....can your quite those chickens down....we can't hear you"

Even the baby chicks know about your pay scale. For some reason they keep chanting, "Cheap, cheap, cheap"

Wankel

 

[OPECJet]

You've spent the night inside a cargo container sitting on the ramp at BRO because the courier overslept....

You've slept on a crate of Hellfire missiles you just brought halfway across the country........

You consider an aircraft younger than yourself to be "brand new".....

You're giving the controller the handoffs......

You have a kersosene heater inside the airplane......

You consider wake turbulence to be nothing more than a ride at an amusement park......