You might be frieght trash if....

[jetdriven]

-- when none of the six levers on your 401 match up, and it doesnt matter anyway because no two readings on the engine instruments match either.

--when it's 5:30 AM, its 200 and 1/2 for your ILS and you have to apply the "breakfast minumums adjustment" by subtracting 100 and 1/2 to the published minimums.

--when your pretakeoff mental briefing is "god, I sure hope nothing is going to go wrong on this takeoff, or else I'm gonna have to crash" because you're so tired you wont even try to feather the correct prop.

--if you've ever taken off with the flaps down in a twin cessna.

--if you've ever landed with the aux tanks on in a PA-31-350.

--when the metro I is a "step up" from your navajo, and you long for the day you get it.

 

[Benzene]

You know your a freight dog when you consider sleeping under the pool table a luxary accomidation for day rest.

...when external oil is considered part of maintance's anti-rust program...

...when you have to park at the most extreme parts of the ramp so that you don't scare the "customers"...

...when ATC knows you by your first name, you might just be a freight dog

...when you realize you have more in common with a Vampire than your D.O. you might be freight dog. (unless you D.O. is already blood thirst SOB)

...when more things are MEL-ed than working you just might be a freight dog...

...when your neighborhood life insurance refuses to insure you because your job is overly hazzardous, you just might be a freight dog..

...and if you laugh when Airline Captains anxiously ask for rediculous vectors around fair weather cumulus clouds, you might just be a freight dog veteran.

 

[Rook]

You might be freight trash if...

You have to fly the plane from the instruments on the other side.

You have to donate plasma to supplement your income.

You have to enter your airplane from the cargo door.

You rate the airports you fly into on whether the Lazy boys are in working order

Your captain says, "you take it i'm gonna grab some shuteye" and instead of napping next to you he/she climbs onto the cargo and goes to sleep.

You know where Willow Run airport is (my personal fave)

You laugh when your friends ask you what sim training was like.

If you can name more than 3 135 companies.

You've had to spin the props after landing (LOL!)

You've slipped on the wing while preflighting and slid all the way down to the ramp ripping your jeans in the process.

You've flown with Connie K himself (love the guy)

You know what the 'Garrett salute' is (fingers plugged in ears)

You never were a coffee drinker until you started flying freight.

You go to jumpseat somewhere and the gate agent says, "Who do you work for again?"

You wake up in the morning have a full day, go to sleep at midnight or later and as soon as you hit the pillow...BEEP BEEP BEEP!

Fly safe freight dogs!

Rook
600' AGL Autopilot on.
'WHEW!'

 

[metrodriver]

regarding Willow Run: you're the only white guy in the ghetto because the freight company you fly for has a 15 minute showtime

 

[Low & Slow]

You may be freight trash if...

You've considered a single engine take off in a twin.

You find a full moon blinding.

The most expensive thing you own is your headset.

You take pride in the "Cargo Only, No passengers" placard

------------------------------------------------------------

Fly safe. Go Bless America.

 

[Wang Chung]

You might be freight trash if:

the customs officer asks you, "Do you guys feel safe flying this thing?" and "Who are you guys, Air America or something?"

you see the airport (YYZ) environmental protection truck parked next to your plane, and the agent is on his cell phone having a long conversation with someone...

you've ever kept a broom on the plane so you can sweep chicken feathers and kitty litter out the cargo door.

you keep a container of "fast orange" in your flight bag.

somebody comes up to you and says "my grandfather flew these in the Air Force..."

Fly Safe.

Wang

 

[Low & Slow]

You take both hands off the yoke to kill a bug with the checklist on base about 600 AGL.
Also, a sign you've spent way too time in that aircraft.

 

[Low & Slow]

How bad you need a shower is a factor in your aeronautical decision making.

 

[AZaviator]

Hilarious! I can relate to so many of these and don't know if I should laugh about it, or be concerned.

How about, you might be freight trash if....

You're jumpseating on a midnight run, and decide to take a quick nap, then as you wake up, you notice the captain is taking a nap too, then after waking him up, he gives you the dazed and confused look and dozes back off....... (actually happend)

or...

If ATC tells you there's a smoother ride 2,000ft higher and you decline because you don't care....

or...

ATC asks you more than 3 times if you have another radio, even after you've switched them.....

or

If ATC refers to you as "unreadable" more than what your call sign is.

 

[prodigal]

. . . CLT apch tells you to slow to apch speed on final because you'r overtaking the 737 in front of you . . . and you're in a Lance.
Happened to me yesterday.
And ditto the one about washing hands before peeing.
This is all so funny & true!

 

[100-1/2]

-You carry a roll of duct tape in your flight bag from October through March or a coleman lantern/stove to heat the cockpit.

-You check in and out of sectors with the IDENT button OR you have to tell a new controller what the next sector's Frequency is.

-Your personal heigene is maintained at the FBO's that stock the bathrooms with razors, deoderant and mouthwash

-CRM (Cockpit/Crew Resource Mgmt) in three valuable components...

A: The order in which you will arrange your reading material for that night in the vacant Co-pilot's seat.

B: The Amount of gas you plan to leave in one of your aux tanks as your alarm clock (when the motor sputters) prior to descent and landing.

C: How you arrange check lists and charts in the windows to keep from being awoken/blinded by the rising/setting sun because the visors were removed to lower the empty weight of your aircraft.


-You convince the night manager at Taco Bell to stay open a half hour later every night to feed you.

-You convince the night manager at Shari's to save the best piece of steak for you in the morning.

-You convince the morning Manager at Denny's to give you the Midnight Menu and prices.

-You get off work and have to wait 4 hours to cash your paycheck.

-You know the lines to every episode of Coach, Cheers, Taxi and every Paid Programming Advertisement.

-The only sports you watch are Highlights on ESPN

-You have to find and wake-up a line guy to get fuel and/or he just hands you the keys to the truck.

 

[tacojet]

My favorite memory was wedging my 6 hour old bag of popcorn from the FBO next to one of the air ducts and turning the heat on in the airplane. Hot buttered popcorn at 3am and 9000ft was such a treat!!

 

[KlingonLRDRVR]

Without a doubt you are frieght trash if the only thing EVERYONE watches at the FBO's on your stops is Howard Stearn and Wild On.


KlingonLRDRVR

 

[HAZ-MAT]

... When the FBO owner tells you that the Pilots lounge is for Pilots only.....

 

[starcheck1]

...when your inflight entertainment includes listening to "Coast to Coast" with George Noory on the ADF early in the morning with crazy people calling in, and all the up to date information on UFO's and crop circles.

...anybody else out there know what im talking about??

 

[GLSoar]

UPS Capt

Captain do you fly into MHT? I park under your wing!

 

[whatwasthat?]

What's the freq. for "Coast to Coast"? My favorite is the hog futures reports on 1300 on my way to KC.

 

[uscpilot]

Starcheck1,
Coast to Coast is helarious. I dont know how that George Noory dude keeps his composure. I think that a requirement for calling is that you are either insane or high. If you are near ATL check out Neil Boortz.
usc

 

[uscpilot]

Starcheck1,
Coast to Coast is helarious. I dont know how that George Noory dude keeps his composure. I think that a requirement for calling is that you are either insane or high. If you are near ATL check out Neil Boortz.
usc

 

[A Squared]

you might be freight trash if......

....on initial contact, ATC asks "are you on 3 engines or 4 tonite?" I swear this actually happened to me tonight. I answered that we we had all four running, but ironically before we'd left his sector, we had to shut down #1. Did he know something that I didn't ?????