"You might be a Regional pilot if..."

[ackattacker]

You might be a *really* regional regional airline pilot if:

1. You give your own passenger briefing, and

2. You don't have a passenger address system, and

3. Your briefing includes "don't touch the controls"

4. You can hear everything your passengers say, but pretend that you can't.

5. You've ever had a know-it-all passenger (I'm a pilot too!) try to explain to his companion every little thing that you're about to do, and then you intentionally do the exact opposite just to make him look dumb.

6. An ILS down to mins single pilot isn't enough to interrupt your daydream.

7. Your checklist is a single 8 1/2 by 11 sheet of paper.

8. You can pinpoint your position anywhere in a three-state area within 1/2 mile without a map using only AM radio stations and DME off of localizers.

9. You've walked through the terminals of major metropolitan airports wearing a full captains uniform with a baseball cap.

10. You've ever given an imaginary ramp agent a "start number one" signal before cranking your car in the morning...

 

[darkvw]

the CFI's car is better than yours

 

[aeronautic1]

You might be a regional F/O if...

you paid anything over $25,000 for that $19,000 per year job.

 

[JAFI]

As a B99 FO I had a passeneger in the first row, throw up on my back as I was flying (no door and the curtin did not close).

We use to slide our hats (open side up) under the last seat (B99). The last seat was just in front of a cargo area that only seperated the cabin with a net. A kid went into the cargo area and tried to use a barf bag as a toilet with a bad case of diarrhea that he blew all over the cargo area. The kid was a mess when they landed and the Captains hat was full. The Captain only made $14,000 a year and the hat was $90. He threw it out.

Oh, the good old days...

JAFI

 

[Flechas]

If people ask you if the let you fly yet, or if they ask you when are you going to fly a real airplane. I told him I already fly a real airplane, and he shrugged his shoulders and said "you know what I mean".

I'm starting to tell people I'm a systems manager at the airport.
"What's that?"
"I just make sure people get to their destination"

 

[MJG]

You might be a regional pilot if..... (these are all true)

You've ever had to take all the passengers off your plane so you and the 2 rampers could push it backwards by hand to get around a stalled fuel truck.

You've ever had your lunch sitting on the center pedestal only to go flying to the last row of the plane on takeoff and then have it returned by the guy sitting in the last row after you level off.

You've ever had a passenger come up and pass you a note that says, "I took some medication before takeoff and now I have to go to the bathroom really bad, what do I do?"

You've ever flown around with your pants rolled up above your knees because the damm a/c is busted.

You've had an "interested" passenger snap a flash photograph from the back, about 20 feet off the ground during a night landing.

You've ever had to personally pee in a trash bag in front of your fellow aviator cause you just couldn't hold it any longer.

 

[skid]

...You made more money as a night manager at McDonald's in High School then as a college grad.

 

[Jeff Helgeson]

At least your Captain wasn't a sh!thead

As a B99 FO I had a passeneger in the first row, throw up on my back as I was flying (no door and the curtin did not close).

We use to slide our hats (open side up) under the last seat (B99). The last seat was just in front of a cargo area that only seperated the cabin with a net. A kid went into the cargo area and tried to use a barf bag as a toilet with a bad case of diarrhea that he blew all over the cargo area. The kid was a mess when they landed and the Captains hat was full. The Captain only made $14,000 a year and the hat was $90. He threw it out.

Oh, the good old days...

JAFI

Along those lines:

I had a friend that flew the J31 for ACA with no lavatory on board. He used to put his gym bag/over night bag behind the last row of seats. He was on a 1.5 hour scheduled flight that turned in to 2.5 hours. When he got to the hotel, he noticed all of his clothes were wet and realized that some pisse off passenger had relieved himself in his RON bag.