"You might be a Regional pilot if..."

[FlyDeltasJets]

Fins,

Give it a rest. It was a joke.


Being a former regional pilot myself, do I get to play?

You might be a regional pilot if:

#1. You have to smile when the 10'th jackass on the 10'th leg of the day cleverly asks you what movie is on this flight.

#2. You live in Bangor, Maine in the winter but can't afford to fix the broken heater, front defroster, and rear defroster on your car (personal experience, most dangerous thing I have ever done!)

#3. You can quote verbatum the 1900's recorded safety briefing.

#4. You do touch and goes on empty legs from an outstation.

#5. You have ever cracked open the door to watch a couple go at it in the last row of an otherwise empty flight.

#6. You have ever not had enough money to get frozen yogurt in the terminal, then had a passenger complain about how much money you make (I almost killed him)

#7. Your crew room conversation centers on the latest guy to "escape" to a major.

#8. You have to add oil to the plane yourself.

#9. You have to use the name of your mainline carrier when telling people where you work because they haven't heard of your airline.

#10. You hate when one of your crashpad roommate's wife comes to visit because you will have to wear pants when playing playstation.



I'm sure there are more, but that's all I got right now!

 

[CF34-3B1]

you might be a regional pilot if you go to the bank to deposit your paycheck, and the teller says "Geee, and I thought pilots made a lot of money"

you might be a regional pilot if when you walk through the terminal, a mainline F/A sees you, looks at your uniform just long enough to positively identify who you work for, then pretends not to see you.

 

[chperplt]

FlyDeltasJets

I can relate to 9 out of those 10 items there... Although since upgrading, the passenger brief has evaded me somewhat.

 

[Typhoon1244]

If your wife is talking to a group of AAL, DAL, UAL, SWA, etc. pilot wives, and they ask her who you fly for, and when she replies they quietly say "oh" with no emotion whatsoever...true story!...you might be a regional pilot.

If passengers tap you on the shoulder while you're being vectored for an approach to ask how soon you're landing ...

If every soul aboard the airplane knows what's happening in the lavatory as soon as it happens...

If you have to stand at a twenty degree nose-up angle to take a leak in your lavatory...assuming you're a guy...or maybe not...

If you don't have a lavatory...

If you've ever had a passenger call an abort during takeoff...again, true story! A female Chicago Express J31 passenger realized she was on the wrong airplane at ninety knots and screamed "Noooooooo!!!" at the top of her lungs.

If those big OshKosh ARFF trucks outweigh your aircraft by a healthy margin...

Mostly for F/O's: if you've stopped trying to get the oil smears off your uniform shirts...

If you can't talk to your wife in the car without flipping your thumb against the corner of the steering wheel...trying to find the hot-mike switch...

And finally...if mainline guys don't talk to you when you say "howdy" in the terminal...

...you might be a regional pilot!

 

[sandman 10338]

A large pizza can feed a family of four............But you can't.

 

[jetexas]

...You take a girl out on a date and she looks at your 15 year old Honda and says " I thought pilots made a lot of money"?

 

[AAsRedHeadedbro]

Using that criterion, every pilot flying an F-100, 737, or any DC-9 derivative would be a regional pilot.

You know what...come to think of it...hmmm...

 

[rk772]

You might be a CARGO pilot if
you've ever chugged the last bit of your water so you can pee in the bottle.
you've ever considered emptying the letters out of a bag and taking a dump in it because CVG is still 2 hours away.

 

[aceshigh]

True Story!!

You might be a cheap-ass mainline pilot if you ask a regional FO if you can have their copy of Maxim instead of springing for you owned subscription. Happened on a U flight. I told him he could have the magazine as long as half of all people that read it were WO pilots and they had first crack at reading it. For some reason, he didn't think my comment was very funny.

 

[Typhoon1244]

Huh?

...as long as half of all people that read it were WO pilots and they had first crack at reading it. For some reason, he didn't think my comment was very funny.

Forgive my ignorance; without knowing what a "WO pilot" is, I don't know how funny it was either.

Let me make sure I got this straight. You're a regional F/O, and some mainline guy came up and wanted your magazine? That took a lot of nerve.