You know you are a regional CA when.....

[jbDC9]

ive got no problem with the other guy guarding the parking brake lever. Last thing I need is for me to slap on the parking brake as were taking the first high speed. On the 8th leg of the 5th day on duty, at 11:59pm, handles start to look the same.

Okay, I'll ask. Why would you be reaching for the control lock while clearing the runway on a hi-speed? Perhaps that'd be best saved for the parking check at the gate? Or is this some weird RJ procedure?

 

[EDUC8-or]

That's when you play the Heading Bug Game. When he/she is not looking, turn it a few degrees off (no more than the width of the heading bug). When they sync it, wait a few seconds and move it again. It kept me entertained for my last 4-day with a d0uche bag.

Caution: Only do this when it's your leg and they're f'ing with the FD.

I'll give it a shot next time I fly with a captain with OCHSD. (That's Obsessive Compulsive Heading Sync Disorder for those of you not in the know.)

I know better than to touch the panel when it's the captain's leg.

 

[EDUC8-or]

You know you're a regional captain when:

Your F.O.s can't fly a visual approach

Your F.O.s think they are entitled to their job as an airline pilot

Your F.O.s violate FARs and company policy every leg because they are incompetent

Your F.O.s b.itch on Flightinfo because all the captains they fly with are "nitpicky, anal, etc." GUESS WHAT...maybe it's because you suck!



When the F.O.s fly like a captain, they get treated as such. Why should we have to babysit and flight instruct in a 121 enviroment...it's pathetic.

AWACoff

You know you're a stuffy regional CA when:

About the only thing your FO says to you is "Yes" and "No". (Even if you're asking questions that require more than a yes or no reply.) You get excited when it's time for a brief or checklist because that will be deep conversation compared to the cold shoulder you've been getting all day.

As soon as you get out of the van your FO and FA's vanish into thin air. You see them later when they're headed out for some food and as soon as they see you they sprint full speed the opposite direction. When you question them about it the next day they just play dumb.

You look at your pairing and see you'll be flying with a certain FO all month. After your first trip, you don't see them again all month.

 

[Stifler's Mom]

deleted....I promised to be nicer.

 

[PacoPollo]

.....when you wear black tennis shoes with your uniform along with Dockers pants..

 

[ERfly]

Okay, I'll ask. Why would you be reaching for the control lock while clearing the runway on a hi-speed? Perhaps that'd be best saved for the parking check at the gate? Or is this some weird RJ procedure?

At least on the ERJ (I don't think they have one because their elevator is hydraulic), the elevator isn't hydraulic. It just bounces in the wind. If you don't lock up the gust lock or at least guard the yoke, you'll get quite a surpise and perhaps no longer have the ablity to have children when a gust of wind hits or you get behind a 737 driver that doesn't know the meaning of BREAKAWAY thrust. We lock the tops when we can, the rudder still moves, but the elevator is locked.

On a related note, come on guys (Southeast TX based legacy carrier), it doesn't take full power to move that thing.

 

[ERfly]

Oops! Posted twice.

 

[Sig]

Okay, I'll ask. Why would you be reaching for the control lock while clearing the runway on a hi-speed? Perhaps that'd be best saved for the parking check at the gate? Or is this some weird RJ procedure?

It isn't an RJ. Ever hold the controls in a tailwind in a Dash 8? A mild gust will put north of 50 pounds of force straight toward your coin purse. You can get caught unawares releasing the lock before taking the runway. I ain't no puss or weakling by any measure (except the fact I smile getting cornholed by ALPA), and it takes both hands and a "WHOA, shoot" to keep my grandkids alive sometimes.

 

[Pogue Mahone]

You have to take the jet from your 350 hr FO in the flare on a VFR day because he lacks the skills to safely land in a 10kt x-wind.

I guess since you called it "the jet" you are no stranger to a little man love in the BOQ, huh.

 

[JohnnyP]

....

jbDC9,

I dont fly an RJ, so I dont know what they do. But on the dash eveyone just locks up the controls as your getting off the runway, because like the others said, the wind will get ahold of it and thrash the controls around, slamming right into your groin. Sometimes with a stiff tailwind, it'll take both arms and a noticable amount of effort to keep the yoke from lurching back in your gut. You have no choice my friend.

 

[Freight Dog]

"Greg, would you like to make a PA?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry Greg. Only the captain gets to make the PA."

"Would you like to honk the horn, Greg?"

"Uh, sure."

"Only the captain gets to honk the horn."

 

[Stifler's Mom]

"Greg, would you like to make a PA?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry Greg. Only the captain gets to make the PA."

"Would you like to honk the horn, Greg?"

"Uh, sure."

"Only the captain gets to honk the horn."

Ah great post, you Focker. :laugh:

 

[AWACoff]

You know you're a stuffy regional CA when:

About the only thing your FO says to you is "Yes" and "No". (Even if you're asking questions that require more than a yes or no reply.) You get excited when it's time for a brief or checklist because that will be deep conversation compared to the cold shoulder you've been getting all day.

As soon as you get out of the van your FO and FA's vanish into thin air. You see them later when they're headed out for some food and as soon as they see you they sprint full speed the opposite direction. When you question them about it the next day they just play dumb.

You look at your pairing and see you'll be flying with a certain FO all month. After your first trip, you don't see them again all month.

That's funny....only about 2 guys have ever done that to me and nobody likes flying with them.

You know you are a crappy F.O. when:

Your F.A. bids around your trip because she is scared to fly with you.

You have been referred to ProStan twice in a year and a half.

You can't pass your probationary checkride.

I know this all sounds so pathetic...but those of you who are captains know what I am talking about. Those of you who are F.O.s...you will find out. There is a higher percentage of good pilots who are captains compared to those who are F.O.s. A lot of it has to do with experience and confidence. The most confident F.O.s are almost always the best to fly with. Mind you, there is a difference between arrogant and confident. I've also noticed that the most insecure captains happen to be the most difficult to fly with.


AWACoff

 

[QCappy]

It isn't an RJ. Ever hold the controls in a tailwind in a Dash 8? A mild gust will put north of 50 pounds of force straight toward your coin purse. You can get caught unawares releasing the lock before taking the runway. I ain't no puss or weakling by any measure (except the fact I smile getting cornholed by ALPA), and it takes both hands and a "WHOA, shoot" to keep my grandkids alive sometimes.

Amen, brother!:laugh:

 

[belchfire]

I had to let go of the tiller to keep from getting a rib busted in the jball once...we were right close to the unlocked tailwind limit and (I forget the reason I was leaning forward) when the former instructor just knocked the gustlock off on the before to cklst without putting a hand on the yoke first...
(I think the poor guy was just to eager and I should have been watching closer)...we both learned something...

I didn't have to say anything...and I doubt he ever did that again. Looks may not kill, but sometimes are more effective than words-especially when coupled with the brutally effective jball brakes!

 

[FirstMate]

Solution to accidentally grabbing the parking brake: LOOK at what you're doing instead of blindly and aimlessly reaching over and grabbing sh|t.
Guarding the pbrake doesn't chap my ass nearly as much as the flap and gear "prompting". I had a captain about 2 weeks ago that actually began lowering the flaps before I called for them.

 

[jvrac]

jbDC9,

I dont fly an RJ, so I dont know what they do. But on the dash eveyone just locks up the controls as your getting off the runway, because like the others said, the wind will get ahold of it and thrash the controls around, slamming right into your groin. Sometimes with a stiff tailwind, it'll take both arms and a noticable amount of effort to keep the yoke from lurching back in your gut. You have no choice my friend.

On that same note, it's pretty hard on the Dash to mistake the parking brake for the control lock. You'd have to be REALLY tired to do that and practically be reaching into the captain's lap.

 

[DDpaysoff]

Your know your a regional Capt. when:

1. your F.O. is on his first "real" job
2. your F.O. wasn't even born when you got your first "real" flying job
3. your F.O. has never flown a plane that weighed as much as the bags in your cargo compartment
4. your F.O. keeps telling ATC you are at three-one thousand because he/she has never been in the flight levels
5. your F.O. doesn't have enough time for a VFR Part 135 check ride.

You know you are a regional captain when you fly for an airline that would hire an FO like this.

 

[Swaayze]

You were hired at Eagle after 9/11 and you finally complete the 15 years req'd to hold captain

 

[JohnnyP]

....

For god sakes I was blowing the "mistake the control lock for the parking brake lever" a little out of whack for dramatic purposes. Settle down you nancy's. And Firstmate, dont make me "out" you on this website. I will.......

 

[Dodge]

You know you're a regional CA when you complain that all of your FO's:

Can't fly a visual.
Can't hold 180 kts
Don't know the 3585 exemption word for word
Aren't over 35
Can't follow SOP's

Of course these same guys forget that about 8-9 years earlier there were CA's accusing them of being equally worthless. Thank goodness at Mesaba, these guys were able to hold CA as soon as they hit the 3000 hour mark. They will soon again be enjoying life as an FO themselves, much to their dismay.

 

[ERfly]

You know you're regional CA...

...when you brag to your FO about "The Best Way To Do The Dylin" and then completely screw it up. It ain't rocket science, make Dylin at 8000.

 

[rjacobs]

OK, maybe my comments about fighting the controls were taken wrong. When I say fighting the controls, I guess I dont mean fighting them in the sense that I wanted one thing and he wanted a complete other. The captain never said "my aircraft", they just jammed way way to much rudder in and way way to much aileron in and it was about in the last 2 foot of the flare which, even as a lowely FO, I know is a bad thing. If the landing is going to be poor, not really bad, dont try, as a captain, to fix it in the last 2 feet of a flare by applying way to much controls because you havent been feeling the wind for the past 1500 feet. I wont say all my landings are good, but with this guy my landings the two times ive flown with him have been pretty poor because he does this in the last two feet of the flare every time. I wouldnt mind if he would say something "a little more rudder", but no just jamming on the rudder is bad in my book. P.S. His landings werent anything to write home about either, not that it matters, but might have something to do with it.

 

[pilotlbs]

OK, maybe my comments about fighting the controls were taken wrong. When I say fighting the controls, I guess I dont mean fighting them in the sense that I wanted one thing and he wanted a complete other. The captain never said "my aircraft", they just jammed way way to much rudder in and way way to much aileron in and it was about in the last 2 foot of the flare which, even as a lowely FO, I know is a bad thing. If the landing is going to be poor, not really bad, dont try, as a captain, to fix it in the last 2 feet of a flare by applying way to much controls because you havent been feeling the wind for the past 1500 feet. I wont say all my landings are good, but with this guy my landings the two times ive flown with him have been pretty poor because he does this in the last two feet of the flare every time. I wouldnt mind if he would say something "a little more rudder", but no just jamming on the rudder is bad in my book. P.S. His landings werent anything to write home about either, not that it matters, but might have something to do with it.

Why are you trying to hold it off in a gusty crosswind? Haven't you flown in strong crosswinds in your other flying jobs?

 

[Mr Wu]

You get a 60% payraise when you upgrade and still can't afford the flavored ramen noodles.

 

[low-key]

When your FO says that he don't want the leg into LGA because he has to fly the KORRY3 and do the Expressway Viz to 31. He said its too much thinking and work. I about ******************** when this little twerp said that.

 

[jws717]

When your FO says that he don't want the leg into LGA because he has to fly the KORRY3 and do the Expressway Viz to 31. He said its too much thinking and work. I about ******************** when this little twerp said that.

What a looooser, any private pilot should be able to fly the expressway. Its a real biotch to follow a road. And the Vnav makes the korry a cake walk. And besides its actualy fun to hand fly a little. screw all these computer things, dam im gona start requesting to fly LGA.

 

[The Drizzle]

When your FO says that he don't want the leg into LGA because he has to fly the KORRY3 and do the Expressway Viz to 31. He said its too much thinking and work. I about ******************** when this little twerp said that.

i hope you slapped a bit of CHQ into him from your left seat

 

[WickedPissa]

You know you're a stuffy regional CA when:

About the only thing your FO says to you is "Yes" and "No". (Even if you're asking questions that require more than a yes or no reply.) You get excited when it's time for a brief or checklist because that will be deep conversation compared to the cold shoulder you've been getting all day.

As soon as you get out of the van your FO and FA's vanish into thin air. You see them later when they're headed out for some food and as soon as they see you they sprint full speed the opposite direction. When you question them about it the next day they just play dumb.

You look at your pairing and see you'll be flying with a certain FO all month. After your first trip, you don't see them again all month.

(Another) Classic.

 

[mrnolmts]

You make a terrible landing, and your buddy is jumpseating in the back, so after landing, you stealthily couple the Flight Guidance to the FO's side, hoping everyone will think it was the FO's leg.

ROFLMAO!!!!