Wierd Capt / FO / FE

[Huck]

he's the guy who used to try to outrun Delta jets into the connectors(....)

Yeah, I heard he got a month off for dragracing an American MD80 once - the AA had been cleared in front of him.

As for sex changers - my uncle was flying a King-Aire once with a guy named Bill - a long time corporate pilot out of BHM.

They were talking to a female civilian helicopter instructor in the FBO in Dothan. Bill asked her, "So where did you start flying helicopters?"

She replied that she had flown Cobras in Viet Nam.

Bill put his foot up on a coffee table and said, real macho: "Well, I flew Cobras in Viet Nam, and there weren't no female helicopter pilots in Viet Nam."

"Well, when I was in Viet Nam, I wasn't a woman...."

 

[njcapt]

ATA had the offspring of a very significant aircraft disigner/manufacturer. {cough Lear cough}

This guy had flown all kinds of aircraft. Heard he was a great stick. Was kind of a f#$%up in his dad's eyes. The was an "Area 51" nut. Lived in LAS with a showgirl and did a radio show espousing the UFO cover up. Mgt. asked him to leave after a couple of warnings.

I don't know if you saw this little blurb about Captain Lear, Hal.



John Lear gave this talk on July 9th, 2004 to a group of fellow pilots
in Las Vegas called, the "Hangar of Quiet Birdmen". Each month one pilot in
the group gives a 15 minute talk on his career.


John Lear on John Lear:

One of the anguishes of advancing age is losing old friends. The upside
of that, though, is that I get to tell the story my way.

I learned to fly at Clover Field in Santa Monica when I was 14. However
before I got to get in an actual airplane Dad made me take 40 hours of
Link with Charlie Gress. I can't remember what I did yesterday but I
guarantee you I could still shoot a 90 degree, Fade-out or Parallel radio range
orientation.

When I turned 16 I had endorsements on my student license for an Aero
Commander 680E and Cessna 310.

I got my private at 17 and instrument rating shortly thereafter. The
Lockheed 18 Lodestar was my first type rating at age 18. I went to work
for my father and brother flying copilot on a twin beech out of Geneva
Switzerland after I got out of high school. Dad was over there trying to
peddle radios to the European airlines.

However just after I turned 18 and got my Commercial I was showing off
my aerobatic talents in a Bucker Jungmann to my friends at a Swiss boarding
school I had attended. I managed to start a 3 turn spin from too low an
altitude and crashed. I shattered both heels and ankles and broke both
legs in 3 places. I crushed my neck, broke both sides of my jaw and lost
all of my front teeth. I managed to get gangrene in one of the open wounds in my
ankles and was shipped from Switzerland to the Lovelace Clinic in
Albuquerque where Randy Lovelace made me well.

When I could walk again I worked selling pots and pans door to door in
Santa Monica. In late 1962 Dad had moved from Switzerland to Wichita to
build the Lear Jet and I went to Wichita to be work in Public relations
until November of 1963 about 2 months after the first flight when I moved
to Miami and took over editing an aviation newspaper called Aero News.

I moved the newspaper to El Segundo in California and ran it until it
failed. I then got a job flight instructing at Progressive Air Service in
Hawthorne, California. From there I went to Norman Larson Beech in Van
Nuys flight instructing in Aircoupes.

In the spring of 1965 I was invited by my Dad back to Wichita to get
type rated in the model 23 Learjet. I then went to work for the executive
aircraft division of Flying Tigers in Burbank who had secured a dealership
for the Lear.

In November of 1965 my boss Paul Kelly crashed number 63 into the
mountains at Palm Springs killing everybody on board including Bob
Prescotts 13 years old son and 4 of the major investors in Tigers. I took
over his job as President of Airjet charters a wholly owned subsidiary of FTL and
flew charters and sold Lears. Or rather tried to sell them. It turns out that I
never managed to sell one Learjet in my entire life.

In March of 1966 2 lear factory pilots Hank Beaird, Rick King and
myself set 17 world speed records including speed around the round the
world, 65 hours and 38 minutes in the first Lear Jet 24. Shortly after that flight I
got canned from Tigers and moved to Vegas and started the first 3rd level
airline in Nevada, Ambassador Airlines. We operated an Aero Commander and
Cherokee 6 on 5 stops from Las Vegas to LAX. This was about the time
Hughes moved to Las Vegas and I was doing some consulting work for Bob and
Peter Maheu.

con't

 

[njcapt]

The money man behind Ambassador was Jack Cleveland who I introduced to
John Myers in the Hughes organization. Cleveland and Myers tried to peddle
the 135 certificate to Hughes without success and Jack ended up selling
Howard those phony gold mining claims you all may remember. I went back to
Van Nuys and was flying Lear charter part time for Al Paulson and Clay
Lacy at California Airmotive, the Learjet distributor.

That summer I started a business called Aerospace Flight Research in
Van Nuys were I rented aircraft to Teledyne to flight test their Inertial
Guidance Systems. We had a B-26, Super Pinto and Twin Beech. I think we
lasted about 4 months.

I then went to work for World Aviation Services in Ft. Lauderdale
ferrying the Cessna O2 FAC airplane from Wichita, fresh of the assembly
line to Nha Trang in Viet Nam with fellow QB Bill Werstlein. We were under
the 4440th ADG Langley VA. and hooked up with a lot of other military pilots
ferrying all manner and types of aircraft.

Our route was Wichita to Hamilton, Hickam, Midway, Wake, Guam, Clark
and then in country. The longest leg was Hamilton to Hickam an average of
16 hours, no autopilot, no copilot, and one ADF. We also had 3 piddle packs.
Arriving in Nha Trang we would hitch a ride to Saigon and spend 3 days
under technical house arrest, each trip, pay a fine for entering the
country illegally, that is being civilians and not coming through a port of entry,
catch an airline up to Hong Kong for a little R and R and straight back to
Wichita for another airplane. I flew this contract for 4 years.

During some off time in 1968 I attempted to ferry a Cessna 320 from
Oakland to Australia with the first stop in Honolulu. About 2 hours out
from Oakland I lost the right engine and had no provisions for dumping
fuel. I went down into ground effect (T effect for you purists) and for 3 hours
and 21 minutes flew on one engine about 25 feet above the waves and made it
into Hamilton AFB after flying under the Golden Gate and Richmond bridges.
An old friend Nick Conte, was officer of the day and gave me the royal
treatment. Why did I go into Hamilton instead of Oakland? I knew exactly where the O
club was for some much needed refreshment.

In September of 1968 between 0-2 deliveries I raced a Douglas B-26
Invader in the Reno Air Races. It was the largest airplane ever raced at
Reno, and I placed 5th in the Bronze passing one Mustang. It was reported
to me after the race by XB-70 project pilot Col. Ted Sturmthal that when I
passed the P-51, 3 fighter pilots from Nellis committed suicide off the
back of the grandstands. In the summer of 1970 I helped Darryl Greenamyer
and Adam Robbins put on the California 1000 air race in Mojave California.
That's the one where Clay Lacy raced the DC-7.

I flew a B-26 with Wally McDonald. I then started flying charter in an
Aero Commander and Beech Queen Air for Aero Council a charter service out
of Burbank. They went belly up about 3 months later and I went up to Reno
to work for my Dad as safety pilot on his Lear model 25. After my Dad fired
me I was personally escorted to the Nevada/California border by an ex-Los
Angeles police detective who worked for Dad and did the muscle work.

I went back down to Van Nuys and was Chief Pilot for Lacy Aviation and
was one of the first pilot proficiency examiners for the Lear Jet. In the
summer of 1973 I moved to Phnom Penh, Cambodia as Chief Pilot and Director
of Operations for Tri Nine Airlines which flew routes throughout Cambodia
for Khmer Akas Air.

I flew a Convair 440 an average of 130 hours a month. We had unlimited
quantities of 115/145 fuel and ADI and were able to use full CB-17 power
(which was 62" for any of you R-2800 aficionados). In November of 1973 I
moved to Vientianne, Laos and flew C-46's and Twin Otters for Continental
Air Services Inc. delivering guns and ammo to the Gen. Vang Pao and his
CIA supported troops.

We got shot down one day and when I say we, Dave Kouba was the captain.
We were flying a twin otter and got the right engine shot out. Actually
the small arms fire had hit the fuel line in the right strut and fuel was
streaming out back around the tail and being sucked into the large cargo
opening in the side of the airplane and filling the cockpit with a fine
mist of jet fuel.

I held the mike in my hands, "Should I call Cricket and possibly blow
us up or...?" (Some of you may remember "Cricket"... "This is Cricket on
guard with an air strike warning to all aircraft".)

VBut Davy found us a friendly dirt strip and we were back in the air
the next day. When the war came to an end in 1973 I moved back to Van Nuys
and started flying Lears for Lacy again until October when I went up to
Seattle and sat in on a Boeing 707 ground school for Air Club International
on spec.

V3 weeks later I ended up in the left seat of the 707 with a total of 8
hours in type. Air Club begat Aero America and we flew junkets out of
Vegas for the Tropicana and Thunderbird Hotels. I left Aero having not been
fired and in the summer of 1975 I was Director of Ops for Ambassador
Airlines 2 flying 707 junkets also out of Vegas. After that airline collapsed I moved
to Beirut, Lebanon in September of 1975 and flew 707's for 2 years for
Trans Mediterranean Airways a Lebanese cargo carrier.

It was a very interesting job in that they had 65 stations around the
world and you would leave Beirut with a copilot that had maybe 200 hours
in airplanes and fortunately a first rate plumber and off you'd go around
the world. My favorite run was Dubai to Kabul, Afghanistan with a stop in
Kandahar. Kabul is a one way strip, land uphill and take off downhill, it
was 6000 foot elevation with no navaids.

During those 2 years I made many round the world trips and many over
the pole trips. In 1977 I moved back to Vegas and was Director of
Operations for Nevada Airlines flying DC-3's and Twin Beech's to the Canyon. In
September of 77 I was called to Budapest for another CIA operation flying 707's
loaded with arms and ammo to Mogadishu.

Leaving Budapest then refueling in Jeddah we flew radio silence down
the Red Sea trying to avoid the MiGs based in Aden, whose sole purpose on
earth was to force us down. The briefing was simple. If you guys get into
trouble DON'T CALL US. Back to Vegas in December of that year I was hired
as Chief Pilot for Bonanza Airlines 2 operating DC-3's and a Gulfstream 1 from Vegas
to Aspen.

After that airline collapsed I was hired by Hilton Hotels to fly their
Lear 35 A. In my spare time I flew part time for Dynalectron and the EPA
on an underground nuke test monitoring program. I flew their B-26, OV-10,
Volpar Beech and Huey helicopter. I also flew the Tri Motor Ford part time
for Scenic Airlines. In 1978 my Dad passed away and left me with one
dollar, which incidentally, I never got.

con't

 

[njcapt]

In 1980 I ran for the Nevada State Senate district 4. I lost miserably
only because I was uninformed, unprepared and both of my size 9 triple E's
were continually in my mouth.

I got fired from Hilton shortly after that and moved to Cairo, Egypt to
fly for Air Trans another CIA cutout. After the Camp David accords were
signed in 1979 each country, Egypt and Israel were required to operate 4
flights a week into the others country. Of course, El Al pilots didn't mind
flying into Cairo but you could not find an Egyptian pilot that would fly
into Tel Aviv. So an Egyptian airline was formed called Nefertiti Airlines
with me as chief pilot to fly the 4 flights a week into Tel Aviv. On our
off time we flew subcontract for Egyptair throughout Europe and Africa. All
this, of course was just a cover for our real missions which was all kinds
of nefarious gun running throughout Europe and Africa which we did in our
spare time.

And now that our beloved 40th president has passed on I can tell you
that in fact (with my apologies to Michael Reagan) the October Surprise was
true. The October surprise for those of you that don't remember happened
during October of 1980 when Reagan and Bush were running against Carter and
Mondale George Bush was flown in a BAC 111 one Saturday night to Paris to
meet with the Ayatollah Khomeini. Bush offered the Khomeini a deal whereby if he
would delay the release of the hostages held in Tehran until Reagans
inauguration, the administration would supply unlimited guns and ammunition
to the Iranians.

In order to get Bush back for a Sunday morning brunch so that nobody
would be alerted to his absence he was flown back in an SR-71 from Reims
field near Paris to McGuire AFB.

Of course Reagan won, the hostages were released and one of my jobs in
Cairo was to deliver those arms from Tel Aviv to Tehran.

Unfortunately, the first airplane in, an Argentinean CL-44 was shot down
by the Russians just south of Yerevan and Mossad who was running the
operation didn't want to risk sending my 707. The arms where eventually
delivered through Dubai, across the Persian Gulf and directly into Terhan.

During the 2 years I was in Cairo I averaged 180 hours a month with a
top month of 236 hours in a 31 day period. I spent a 6 week tour in
Khartoum flying cows to Saana, North Yemen in an old Rolls Royce powered 707.

Back in Las Vegas in December of 1982 I sat on my ass until I was out
of money, again, and then went to work for Global Int'l Airlines in Kansas
City, another CIA cutout run by Farhad Azima, an Iranian with a bonafide
Gold Plated Get Out of Jail Free card flying 707's until they collapsed in
October of 83.

During the summer of 1983 the FAA celebrated its 25th Anniversary at
the Mike Monroney Aeronautical Center in Oklahoma City. There was much
fanfare and speech making and 2 honored guests. Bill Conrad from Miami, Florida
who had the most type ratings, I think over 50. And myself. I had the most
airman certificates issued of any other airman.

After Global's collapse I went went to work for American Trans Air
flying 707's. I wrote their international navigation manual as MNPS for
North Atlantic operations was just being implemented and became the first FAA
designated check airman for MNPS navigation. ATA then added 727's and then
Lockheed L-1011's. For a very brief time I was qualified as captain in all
three.

After getting fired from ATA in July of 1989 I became a freight dog
flying DC-8's for Rosenbalm Aviation which became Flagship Express and
after that airline collapsed I was hired as Chief pilot for Patriot
Airlines out of Stead Field in Reno, flying cargo 727's from Miami to South America.
After getting fired from Patriot I went to work for Connie Kalitta flying
DC-8s then the L-1011 on which I was a check airman. Kalitta sold out to
Kitty Hawk International which went bankrupt in May of 2000.

I was 57 at the time and nobody is going to hire an old f*ck for two
and a half years except to fly sideways so I turned in my stripes and ever
present flask of Courvoisier. Except for one last fling in March of 2001
where I flew the Hadj for a Cambodian Airline flying L-1011's under
contract to Air India. We were based in New Delhi and flew to Jeddah from all
throughout India. There was absolutely no paperwork, no FAA, no BS and for
6 weeks we just moved Hadji's back and forth to Saudi Arabia.

One final note, in October of 1999 I had the honor and extreme pleasure
to get checked out in a Lockheed CF-104D Starfighter. My instructor was
Darryl Greenamyer, the airplane was owned by Mark and Gretchen Sherman of
Phoenix. It was the highlight of my aviation career particularly because I
survived my first and only SFO in a high performance fighter.

One other thing, some how I managed to get he following type ratings:
707/720/727, Convair 240/340/440, DC-3, DC-8, B-26, Gulfstream 1, Lockheed
Constellation, Lear Jet series, HS-125, Lockheed L-1011, Lockheed L-18,
Lockheed P-38, Martin 202/404, B-17, B-25, Grumman TBM and Ford Trimotor.
I also have single and multi engine sea, rotorcraft helicopter and gyroplane,
and lighter than air free balloon. I never got all categories having missed
the Airship. And in case you are interested many, many airmen have lots
more type ratings.

What I did get, that no other airman got was most FAA certificates: these are
the ATP, Flight Instructor with airplane single and multi engine, instrument, rotorcraft helicopter and gyroplane and glider. Flight Navigator, Flight Engineer,
Senior Parachute Rigger, Control Tower Operator, A&P, Ground Instructor,
Advanced and Instrument and Aircraft Dispatcher. I have 19,488 hours of
total time of which 15,325 hours is in 1,2,3 or 4 engine jet. I took a total of
181 FAA (or designated check airman) check rides and failed 2.

Of the thousands of times I knowingly violated an FAA regulation I was
only caught once but never charged or prosecuted.

The farthest I have ever been off course was 321 miles left over the
South China Sea in a 707 on New Years day 1977 on a flight from Taipai.
The deviation was not caught by Hong Kong, Manila or Singapore radar and I
penetrated six zero to unlimited restricted areas west of the Philippines.
I landed in Singapore 7 minutes late without further incident.

How, you ask, did I get so far off course? The short answer is I was
napping at the controls. I have flown just about everywhere except Russia,
China, Mongolia, Korea, Antarctica, Australia or New Zealand. I am a senior
vice-commander of the American Legion Post No.1 Shanghai, China (Generals
Ward, Chennault and Helseth) (operating in exile) and a 21 year member of
the Special Operations Association.

Now some of you may be asking why so many airlines collapsed that I
worked for and why I got fired so many times. My excuse is simple. I am
not the brightest crayon in the box, I am extremely lazy, I have a smart
mouth and a real poor f*cking attitude.

 

[Ty Webb]

Glad to know that we still have guys like that among us . . . Doesn't sound like there will be a rocking chair in his retirement. . . . Thanks for posting it.

 

[Huck]

NJCapt - thanks for posting that.

I worked briefly for Wally McDonald in the late eighties. He was selling refurbished Gnats out of California City.

And Darryl Greenamyer was the guy on Nova that caught fire taxiing the B-29 on the Greenland tundra.

 

[LAZYB]

I am extremely lazy, I have a smart
mouth and a real poor f*cking attitude.

That would make a great "signature"

 

[njcapt]

That would make a great "signature"

I've got dibs.

 

[FlierDude]

Superb post, Njcapt.

As a postscript: When he flew under the Golden Gate in the 310, the authorities closed the bridge as a precaution. It was only the second time in history it was closed. The first time was at the end of WWII.

Not many like him left.

 

[Boeingman]

There was a guy that used to wrap himself in alluminom foil to prevent radiation. We called him the "tin man".