Who's Got Some "Stuck Mic" Stories ??

[TIGV]

I bet there are alot of preachers and pastors that have aircraft. one here in houston has a G2 and a falcon. i guess they look at it just like a company business person. time is money. or time to do God's work....

Props

Hogwash !! That's what sandals and some humility are for.
The same applies to airborne prisoner transport...why aren't they walking ? They got time.

 

[LAXSaabdude]

I was flying with a student at a rural airport near Portland, OR. We were doing some touch and gos, and there were maybe 3 other airplanes operating in the pattern, including a couple of Marchettis. I had noticed that I had not heard any traffic broadcasts for quite some time.

We were on short final (maybe 200' AGL), and I was talking my student through a short field landing. Suddenly, one of the Marchettis zipped right UNDERNEATH US! My student was shocked and screamed out "THAT FU(KING A$$HOLE!" As the Marchetti had now done a low pass and was now far away from us, we elected to land, and do one more touch and go.

As we climbed out, the Marchetti had circled back, and had formed up to our left, and was flying maybe 100' off our left wing tip. At that point, I said to my student, let's get the he11 out of here, these guys are nuts.

We proceeded back to our home airport, and as I was filling out the invoice for my student, the phone rang, and it was the Marchetti pilot calling to tell me that I had a stuck mike, and that he didn't appreciate that kind of language on the radio. I told him that I didn't appreciate having someone fly underneath me on final, and being intercepted in the traffic pattern! He said he was just trying to tell me I had a stuck mike. I was so livid, I don't even remember what I said at that point.

Long story short, in this Top Gun Wannabe Yahoo's expert opinion, it was his duty to intercept any offending aircraft who dared to enter the pattern NORDO.

Not sure why I didn't at the time, but if it had happened again today, I would have turned that guy into the FAA.

LAXSaabdude.

 

[flyifrvfr]

Before I became a flight instructor, I was a tractor trailer driver for ten years. I was working for a construction equipment rental company who gave all the drivers Nextel Direct Connect phones. Me and a trainee was dispatched to a customers location to switch out a broken piece of equipment and told to check in as soon as I got there because the customer was in a hurry to get the equipment dropped off.

I got there and checked in and told my boss that no one was there but I can still switch the equipment out, I would just have to go thrrough a lot of work to get to it because it was buried behind more equipment. The boss said go ahead and do that. I released the button on the Nextel and began cussing the boss and the customer for not making this switch easier. I started talking to the trainee and I called the customer a stupid Son of a B!tch and every other cuss word you could imagine. I called my company cheap for buying and renting out Sh1t equipment and that the dumb customers don't know the difference between broken and working equipment because it was all junk.

When I got back to the shop the boss called me into his office and told me that after I called to check in, my mike button on the Nextel stuck open and he heard every thing I said. Worse yet, the customer who I was switching the equipment for was standing right next to my boss and also heard every thing I said. Needless to say that day was my last day working for that company.

 

[O-Line]

Also heard on 121.5

If you are a diligent 121.5 listener, you are bound to have heard some poor airline FO tell the ramp control he was on the ground for gate XX. I've done it, it's a matter of not flipping the selector switch. The usual response is "you're on guard, buddy" or some other appropriate comment.

I heard a new twist on this the other day:

"Ramp, Delta 123 on the ground for Kilo 3."

Unknown person transmitting on guard: "Uh, Delta 123, gate occupied - tell ground you need to hold off the gate."

"Delta 123, roger."

A few seconds later... Another voice on 121.5: "Boy that guy is going to be mad when he figures this out."

Also On 121.5

Lear N12345: "Aero Toy Store, Lear 12345, over."

Wisea$$: "Go ahead Lear 12345"

Lear N12345: " Ya, Aero Toy Store this is Lear 12345, we'll be on your ramp in 15 minutes, we'd like a Quick Turn 400 gallons,Jet A with Prist, a GPU, coffee, and some papers please."

Wisea$$: "Roger, Lear 345, 15 minutes out, requesting 400 gallons, coffee, ice papers, would you like a BLOW JOB to go with that?"

 

[Flyin Tony]

Captain comes on the PA at cruise altitude after turning the seatbelt sign off, blah, blah, blah.

After which he says to the co-pilot, "I'll I need now is a beer and a blow job."

The Flight Attendant in horror goes running throught the isle to the cockpit to tell the Captain he is on the PA and a passenger in first class says to her as she frantically passes by, "don't forget the beer!"

Thats the best yet

 

[FastCargo]

I was solo in a T-38 when this happened...

I was lucky enough to get a solo as an IP. After a touch and go to head out to the acrobatic areas, I noticed that nobody was responding to my calls. I tried departure, SOF, Guard (243.0), manual freqs...nothing!

By the time I had finished all that, I was well into the departure, and our NORDO procedures have us fly out to 46 DME, arc, then come back. I did all that, making the appropriate calls on the appropriate freqs (in the blind of course), 7600 on the transponder, rocking my wings up initial, looking for the green light, etc.

Well that all goes fine, so I taxi in uneventfully, shut down, inform MX, and go back inside to tell the supervisor I was NORDO.

Lt Col type: "You weren't NORDO"

Young, steely eyed IP(me) : "What?"

Lt Col type: "You were hot mike, the WHOLE time. They have you on tape."

Crestfallen IP (me): "Ah *(&%^%#!"

I had jammed up departure, arrival, tower, and ground with my breathing (through a oxygen mask no less). And of course, they got to hear all my comments to myself such as:

"What's wrong with this (*^%*&* thing!?!"
"I gotta fly all of this procedure?"
"Down, 3 green, flaps fulls, 2 good hydros..."

I should've caught a clue after I'd cleared the runway.
I had been a waiting for a while for the green light from tower to taxi to the chocks...

Talking to myself: "Come on guys, give me a green light"

1 sec later: (PING!) Nice shiny green light!

I'm glad I only THOUGHT that it was a great Jedi mind trick...

For future reference, if you think you're NORDO, shut the hell up!

Fly Safe!

FastCargo

 

[User546]

Whats a preacher doing on a private jet!

Quite a few of the bigger names do.

Jesse Duplantis is perhaps the best known, he's flown around for years in a Citation II. However last I heard he was upgrading to the Citation X. He says its going to help him reach more of the world faster!

The offerings must be good at his place!

 

[JRSLim]

stuck mic

I had spent a couple of days flying a Baron with the old style PTT- push forward to talk to the outside world- pull back to talk on intercom. I was with a student in a Cessna-regular PTT- at the end of the flight- I was telling him something as we were taxiing back to fuel, he looked at me and said 'you don't have to push that (PTT) to talk to me'... 'Uhh ooops'

 

[Snoopy58]

The standard lineup checklist for the T-37 was something along the lines of "line on line, point on point, 5 green, no red, no amber, canopy down, flaps set, two good engines" or somesuch, and it was required verbiage before releasing brakes for initial takeoff. As luck would have it, a solo student gets a stuck mic right after acknowledging his takeoff clearance from the RSU, and his next words on frequency were something to the effect of

"Line on line, point on... oh %&$@ that, let's do it!"

At which point he blasted off. Needless to say, as soon as his mic unstuck, he was informed to "make the next one a full stop" and got an unsat for the sortie for checklist discipline.

Gotta hate the "surface to air unsat!"

 

[surfnole]

I was on the final leg of my long student cross country from Greensville SC to PDK in Atlanta. I called approach control for flight following figuring I would call tower when I was 10 miles out.

It was a beautiful day, and I was singing in the airplane, and I am a lousy singer. I wondered why the frequency was so quiet. Finally I checked in with the controller and told him I wanted to call tower. He informed me that my mike was stuck and that he had to switch all traffic to another frequency. DOH! It must have been at least 10 minutes. At least nobody knew me.

 

[wiggsfly]

Whats a preacher doing on a private jet!

Our 135 outfit manages a Falcon 10 and a Baron for a local church. But if you think that's bad, check this out http://www.jdm.org/projects/citationX.htm.

 

[wiggsfly]

Our 135 outfit manages a Falcon 10 and a Baron for a local church. But if you think that's bad, check this out http://www.jdm.org/projects/citationX.htm.

A Few More Examples
http://elitecxteam.org/vision/vision_more.php
http://www.patridiots.com/001287.html

 

[Brett Hull]

Now I've seen it all

Doesn't that Copeland kook have his own private airport in the Dallas area with something like a paved 7000' runway with an ILS?

What a scam! The Lord and saviour Jesus H. Christ says Brett Hull needs a, wait make it TWO G-V's to spread the word of golf since the hockey season is sunk. If only 45,000 of you donate $2,000 to the cause, you're assured a spot in golf heaven - right next to me! DON'T BE A SINNER! DONATE NOW!

 

[garf12]

A Few More Examples
http://elitecxteam.org/vision/vision_more.php
http://www.patridiots.com/001287.html

wow not 1 but 2. Last night god told me that I needed a BBJ to spread his word please send all donations to....

I really hope these people burn in hell.

 

[Big Beer Belly]

Back in my T-38 Instructor days .... my student and I are signing out for the jet at the Supervisor of Flying (SOF) Desk (usually manned by a major or higher ... today it's a Lt Col and former T-Bird)... usually this is kind of a formal affair and a fairly large room with a big situation board with all the tail numbers, who's flying them, their destination etc... anyways ... speaker in the background is selectable and today it is tuned to the MOA freq (common freq used in the practice area). The T-38 is constantly hot mic as far as intercom goes (to facilitate instruction) ... but today the transmission button sticks and ................. instantly my virgin ears are ASSAULTED by the familiar voice of a squadron mate as he alternately grunts (pulling G's) and descriptively relives to the other guy in the jet each and every sexual position, bondage fantasy fulfilled and master/slut game he performed the previous night with some bar bimbo he picked up. In a 2 minute hot mic recorded period, the SOF counted 47 instances of GRAPHIC PROFANITY sufficient to make a seasoned porn "actress" blush! Had to admit (in between the laughter and "holey sheet, did he really just say that" outbursts), I was beginning to stir "down there" just a bit! <g>

 

[HMR]

Caution, this is awful: I was flying with a student in a 152 on his first lesson. There was only one other plane on frequency. About thirty minutes into the flight, the other guy declares an emergency on tower freq. and says, "I'm going down!" He pressed the mic button the whole way. We could hear him hyperventilating and talking to himself. The last thing he said was something like "I'm going to hit the school!". It sounded like he hit some trees. We heard the impact, heard tree branches breaking, heard him screaming. Then it was silent and my student and I are just staring wide-eyed and shaking our heads. A minute or so later we hear a faint "help" over the freq. We start yelling at the guy, "ARE YOU OKAY? WHERE ARE YOU?" There are a lot of hills by the airport so the tower was unable to hear him. The guy on the ground never let go of the mic so he couldn't hear us and didn't know if anyone could hear him. He was going into shock and saying strange things. Meanwhile, we start buzzing past every school (at 90kts) we knew of in the 50sq. mile area where he could have gone down. We found him at the second school we tried. He'd missed the playground and crashed into a lemon orchard. We circled the site and guided a rescue helicopter to the orchard. The guy didn't let go of the mic until the rescue crew took hold of him.

The pilot lived. My student is now a Multi-Comm rated pilot with a unique "first-flight" story.

 

[crazee8]

Years ago, my FO and I were getting along great laughing and carrying on almost the whole flight from Syracuse to IAD. We were trying to out do each other making sounds (voice sounds that is and yes we were were in our 20s). By this time we were on Dulles approach freqency.

Well, I took a deep breath in to regale him with my most excellent animal sound. Unfortunately, instead of selecting the intercomm switch, I pushed the PTT switch and let out an excellent 10 second rendition of a cow: hhhhhhhmmmmmmmMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHhhhhh!

After IAD responded with "OOOkkkaaayyy?" We almost had to go hold somewhere we were laughing so hard.

 

[Pugh]

Caution, this is awful: I was flying with a student in a 152 on his first lesson. There was only one other plane on frequency. About thirty minutes into the flight, the other guy declares an emergency on tower freq. and says, "I'm going down!" He pressed the mic button the whole way. We could hear him hyperventilating and talking to himself. The last thing he said was something like "I'm going to hit the school!". It sounded like he hit some trees. We heard the impact, heard tree branches breaking, heard him screaming. Then it was silent and my student and I are just staring wide-eyed and shaking our heads. A minute or so later we hear a faint "help" over the freq. We start yelling at the guy, "ARE YOU OKAY? WHERE ARE YOU?" There are a lot of hills by the airport so the tower was unable to hear him. The guy on the ground never let go of the mic so he couldn't hear us and didn't know if anyone could hear him. He was going into shock and saying strange things. Meanwhile, we start buzzing past every school (at 90kts) we knew of in the 50sq. mile area where he could have gone down. We found him at the second school we tried. He'd missed the playground and crashed into a lemon orchard. We circled the site and guided a rescue helicopter to the orchard. The guy didn't let go of the mic until the rescue crew took hold of him.

The pilot lived. My student is now a Multi-Comm rated pilot with a unique "first-flight" story.

That's an amazing story.

 

[Flyingdutchman]

Well this happened to us today at LA center (133.55 or 127.38 I think?)
I swear, I’m not kidding ya.

Skywest: " Ladies and Gentleman; from the flight deck, your captain bla bla blab la bla"

..silence

Me : "Thanks captain sir! We appreciate it!"

UAL: "not bad rookie."

Center: "give me a break!"

 

[Flyingdutchman]

It didn’t take to long doh (all the fun) since it was a pretty dang busy day today in the LA/Palmdale/Victorville area.. lot’s of cb’s to avoid!