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Who's Got Some "Stuck Mic" Stories ??

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thats right, I don't molest the spectacular cat okay! NOW EVERYONE GET OFF MY CASE!!!:D

I was abused as a child...
 
Propsfullfwd said:
At the school I tought at we had a 172rg that was known for getting stuck mic's. So here I am on final and the student make the call and the mic sticks. So I'm yell at him to try to unstick the mic. He looks at me like a dumba$$ and I start to cuss at him dropping every word in the book until right before touchdown. When it unstucks. Right after that another instructor in the FBO comes on and and tell's me that I had a stuck mic. Well no $h!t. I walk in to the FBO and there is about six people waiting for there jet to come in. It turns out to be a pastor and his family. They were standing right next to the speaker while I'm dropping bombs thru. my students boom mic. That was the first and last time I cussed with a stuck mic.

Props

Whats a preacher doing on a private jet! He should be giving the money to the poor, maybe you were a sign from God saying give the poor people money!
 
Heard a student with a stuck mike on the ground before his second or third solo - if you thought there wouldn't be much chatter with only one person in the airplane you'd be wrong. He ran through all the checklists very nicely while the whole flying club listened in - we particularly liked his comments of "Looks good" and "Let's try that again". Then just before he switched to tower and the mike unstuck, he said in his best pep talk voice "Let's do this!" We really hooted. At least his instructor knew that he followed the checklists correctly....
 
Flying freight every morning along with some of my buddies going to nearby destinations, we talk on fingers all the time (123.45). Of course we screw up and answer center on fingers, but today was the best. One of them yells out "HEEELLEEEWWWWWW" several times on Houston center. Once he hears me respond on fingers and ask what he's up to, he says (still on center) "Reviewing my d*mn paperwork". He finally figured it out after that, but it was hilarious hearing "HEELLLLEEEWWWW!!!!" over center a few times.
 
Oops

A friend and I decided to accompany each other on PA-28R200 time building flights (a no-no per our 141 school at the time but FAA legal) so we could film the whole thing. We plugged the camera into the intercom system to include audio portion of the flight---i made announcements like an airliner and everything for the full effect.

We flew from Macon, GA to Milledgeville, GA and back. MLJ has a PA system on the ramp that broadcasts unicom on the ramp. My friend and I, being Yankees, were making fun of the people at the FBO as we taxiied by (we won the war, where is you confederate flag you hillbilly, are your mother and father brother and sister by chance, etc.) We saw this one guy waving at us to park, but we didn't as we had to get back to MAC. We took off, still making fun of our innocent victims on the ramp, and flew back to MAC, arriving just on time.

Our instructor was waiting for us, and she walked to the plane and informed us that we had a stuck mike for the entire flight, a byproduct of hooking the camera up to record everything...OOPS. All our comments in MLJ were broadcast accross the ramp for all to hear, and the guy waving was gonna let us park and beat the crap out of us...he called the school, whose name was emblazoned accross the tail. We both got grounded pending a meeting with management, had to pay for the flight again solo, and write letters of appology to every FBO that used the frequencies we had clogged along the route.

I did get to keep the tape that we hid from management, so we could go have some beer and watch it to get some good laughs.....I am gonna go watch it again now.
 
Not a stuck mic story, but funny

If you are a diligent 121.5 listener, you are bound to have heard some poor airline FO tell the ramp control he was on the ground for gate XX. I've done it, it's a matter of not flipping the selector switch. The usual response is "you're on guard, buddy" or some other appropriate comment.

I heard a new twist on this the other day:

"Ramp, Delta 123 on the ground for Kilo 3."

Unknown person transmitting on guard: "Uh, Delta 123, gate occupied - tell ground you need to hold off the gate."

"Delta 123, roger."

A few seconds later... Another voice on 121.5: "Boy that guy is going to be mad when he figures this out."
 
I bet there are alot of preachers and pastors that have aircraft. one here in houston has a G2 and a falcon. i guess they look at it just like a company business person. time is money. or time to do God's work....

Props
 
Propsfullfwd said:
I bet there are alot of preachers and pastors that have aircraft. one here in houston has a G2 and a falcon. i guess they look at it just like a company business person. time is money. or time to do God's work....

Props

Hogwash !! That's what sandals and some humility are for.
The same applies to airborne prisoner transport...why aren't they walking ? They got time.
 
I was flying with a student at a rural airport near Portland, OR. We were doing some touch and gos, and there were maybe 3 other airplanes operating in the pattern, including a couple of Marchettis. I had noticed that I had not heard any traffic broadcasts for quite some time.

We were on short final (maybe 200' AGL), and I was talking my student through a short field landing. Suddenly, one of the Marchettis zipped right UNDERNEATH US! My student was shocked and screamed out "THAT FU(KING A$$HOLE!" As the Marchetti had now done a low pass and was now far away from us, we elected to land, and do one more touch and go.

As we climbed out, the Marchetti had circled back, and had formed up to our left, and was flying maybe 100' off our left wing tip. At that point, I said to my student, let's get the he11 out of here, these guys are nuts.

We proceeded back to our home airport, and as I was filling out the invoice for my student, the phone rang, and it was the Marchetti pilot calling to tell me that I had a stuck mike, and that he didn't appreciate that kind of language on the radio. I told him that I didn't appreciate having someone fly underneath me on final, and being intercepted in the traffic pattern! He said he was just trying to tell me I had a stuck mike. I was so livid, I don't even remember what I said at that point.

Long story short, in this Top Gun Wannabe Yahoo's expert opinion, it was his duty to intercept any offending aircraft who dared to enter the pattern NORDO.

Not sure why I didn't at the time, but if it had happened again today, I would have turned that guy into the FAA.

LAXSaabdude.
 
Before I became a flight instructor, I was a tractor trailer driver for ten years. I was working for a construction equipment rental company who gave all the drivers Nextel Direct Connect phones. Me and a trainee was dispatched to a customers location to switch out a broken piece of equipment and told to check in as soon as I got there because the customer was in a hurry to get the equipment dropped off.

I got there and checked in and told my boss that no one was there but I can still switch the equipment out, I would just have to go thrrough a lot of work to get to it because it was buried behind more equipment. The boss said go ahead and do that. I released the button on the Nextel and began cussing the boss and the customer for not making this switch easier. I started talking to the trainee and I called the customer a stupid Son of a B!tch and every other cuss word you could imagine. I called my company cheap for buying and renting out Sh1t equipment and that the dumb customers don't know the difference between broken and working equipment because it was all junk.

When I got back to the shop the boss called me into his office and told me that after I called to check in, my mike button on the Nextel stuck open and he heard every thing I said. Worse yet, the customer who I was switching the equipment for was standing right next to my boss and also heard every thing I said. Needless to say that day was my last day working for that company.
 
Also heard on 121.5

PHX767 said:
If you are a diligent 121.5 listener, you are bound to have heard some poor airline FO tell the ramp control he was on the ground for gate XX. I've done it, it's a matter of not flipping the selector switch. The usual response is "you're on guard, buddy" or some other appropriate comment.

I heard a new twist on this the other day:

"Ramp, Delta 123 on the ground for Kilo 3."

Unknown person transmitting on guard: "Uh, Delta 123, gate occupied - tell ground you need to hold off the gate."

"Delta 123, roger."

A few seconds later... Another voice on 121.5: "Boy that guy is going to be mad when he figures this out."

Also On 121.5

Lear N12345: "Aero Toy Store, Lear 12345, over."

Wisea$$: "Go ahead Lear 12345"

Lear N12345: " Ya, Aero Toy Store this is Lear 12345, we'll be on your ramp in 15 minutes, we'd like a Quick Turn 400 gallons,Jet A with Prist, a GPU, coffee, and some papers please."

Wisea$$: "Roger, Lear 345, 15 minutes out, requesting 400 gallons, coffee, ice papers, would you like a BLOW JOB to go with that?"
 
Jeff Helgeson said:
Captain comes on the PA at cruise altitude after turning the seatbelt sign off, blah, blah, blah.

After which he says to the co-pilot, "I'll I need now is a beer and a blow job."

The Flight Attendant in horror goes running throught the isle to the cockpit to tell the Captain he is on the PA and a passenger in first class says to her as she frantically passes by, "don't forget the beer!"

Thats the best yet :D:D:D:D:D
 

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