What's the dumbest question you've been asked as a pilot?

[CrownandCoke]

Pax: Are you old enough to fly this airplane?
Me: (straight face) No

Pax: What do you do if it starts snowing?
Me: go play in the snow

Pax: What time does my next flight leave?
Me: go take a look at the monitors
Pax: What's a monitor? (I am not making that up.)

 

[SPDBRD747400]

Q. So what do you do for the airlines?
Q. Are you my cruise director? (in MIA)
Q. So who's flying the airplane? (going on the "walk of shame")
Q. So if both pilots got sick, could you land this 767? (non-reving on DL)
Q. I just flew in from Toledo, did my bags make it?
Q. Do you guys really dump the "blue juice" in the air?

These are all ones I've had...

 

[BlueCanoe]

...boarding the 145 in LGA:
1) Is this a prop? after they walk up the stairs
2)LIJ in a leopard print body suit and big hair It's soooo smallll!!!
Me: Rub it on the nose, it'll get bigger

In PHL
Where's C16?

Non-revving on a 737, overhead by a couple in front of me: This must be a small plane. Usually we walk up the jetway to get on!

Another non-revving day, early in the AM as I got in too late the night before to get home. A long-haired guy is working on the jetbridge door lock, then goes down the jetway. After boarding begins, I'm behind 2 business travellers at the bottom of the jetway. The long-haired guy working on the door comes back up from his truck. After a brief discussion on how serious the engine maintenence is, they ask me if it's going to be a problem. I said no, you just walked past him when he was working on the door lock 2 minutes ago.

 

[pb1900]

I was standing in front of the 4 points sheraton in Birmingham with my crew when a guy pulled up in a mercedes, got out and handed me the keys asking if I could park it for him...

 

[orangeskysurfer]

On my off days, im a substitute teacher for my local high school. One day the kids had some idle time and decided to start asking me random questions. After some prying, they found out that I flew for the airlines. You look young, were you in the air force? How long did it take? a barage of questions from all of them at once. Then one kid asks "isnt it hard to fly those planes?" and before I can respond to the question, one kid says... The terrorists were pilots, anyone can fly an airplane.. I did all i could to not lash out at this point and tried to erase the comment from my memory.

 

[8HourPilot]

ORD-HPN........Lady in 1B = Can you turn the engines down?

Home - ORD going to work. "Are you old enough to be a pilot?" "Nope, it's bring your son to work day, and that's my dad" (as I point to the capt that I am about to ask for a ride from)

 

[Longhorn]

Ahhhh....the thread has been brough back to life...Nice work guys.

 

["Luke"]

Had a #1 bearing go through the engine on a B-1900 just after takeoff, so we came back and landed. As the passengers deplaned, one of them looks at the #1 engine and the pool of oil from the oil running out of it and asks if we blew an engine. I thought the 2 compressor stalls with flame would have answered that question.

You couldn't even turn the prop by hand.

When we called crew tracking to get a hotel, they told us to stand by, cause they were going to have a mechanic look at it to see if we could ferry it out of there.

 

[WWEfan]

I had a Go-Jet pilot ask to ride my jumpseat. I thought that was a pretty dumb question.

 

[Princedietrich]

Me: Now remember, it's always important to make sure the props are in sync. It's a sign of a true professional.

Caravan Trainee: I'll remember that. What's the best way to sync them?