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What Not to put on your Resume

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trijetter

$leeping for Dollar$
Joined
Sep 5, 2002
Posts
40
Found this resume on Find A Pilot, I can't believe this guy, funny as hell. Good luck with you job search!
Additional Skills

Management & Administrative Skills
Computer Hardware & Software Skills
Aircraft & Auto Mechanic Skills
Sitting in a Small Confined Space Next to Almost Anyone Skills
Also can reliably set two alarms for 25 years in a row...




EMPLOYMENT HISTORY

Company Name:Scottsdale Hangar 1, Scottsdale AZStarted on: 09/15/2007Ended on: 05/15/2008Job Title:CaptainDuties:Part 91 Captain & Manager, Citation Bravo (Co-Pilot: "Can't we make this checklist a little shorter?" Captain: "Sure, if you have any new ideas to stay awake...")Company Name:Caliber Jets, Scottsdale AZStarted on: 06/15/2007Ended on: 09/15/2007Job Title:Chief PilotDuties:Part 91 Chief Pilot, Lear 35A (Co-Pilot: "The right one isn't out again, is it?" Captain: "Nope, not since last June...watch that centerline.")Company Name:Lisa Frank Inc., Tucson AZStarted on: 12/15/2004Ended on: 04/15/2007Job Title:Aviation Manager & CaptainDuties:Part 91 Aviation Manager & Captain, Citation X (Thanks Boss, I thought I'd never get that vacation...and please call me when you get a new plane!)Company Name:Pratte Transportation, Chandler AZStarted on: 07/15/2004Ended on: 11/15/2004Job Title:Aviation Manager & CaptainDuties:Part 91 Aviation Manager & Captain, CJ2 Single Pilot (Say Boss...I don't think you should put the cute girls up front anymore...)Company Name:Lisa Frank Inc., Tucson AZStarted on: 11/15/2000Ended on: 07/15/2004Job Title:Aviation Manager & CaptainDuties:Part 91 Aviation Manager & Captain, Citation X (New Executive Assistant: "Are you John?...You're going to Pontiac next weekend!?!!" John: "Oh, ok...by the way, did anyone mention my vacation, Ms...?")Company Name:Swift Air, Phoenix AZStarted on: 09/15/1999Ended on: 10/15/2000Job Title:CaptainDuties:Part 135 Charter Captain, Citation X (Co-Pilot: "Isn't that my sandwich?" Captain: "It would be if you had ordered two...")Company Name:Southwest Jet Aviation, Scottsdale AZStarted on: 08/15/1998Ended on: 09/15/1999Job Title:CaptainDuties:Part 91 & 135 Charter Captain, Hawker 800/Citation V Ultra/Lear 35A (Boss: "Surprise John! We sold the airplanes yesterday..." John: "......")Company Name:Mayo Aviation, Englewood COStarted on: 07/15/1989Ended on: 08/15/1998Job Title:CaptainDuties:Part 135 Charter & Air Ambulance Captain, Hawker 125-3ARA/Lear 35A/Citation II/King Air 90 & 200/Cheyenne II, Co-Pilot on Lear 24F/25/35A (You know, nurses can be a great help spotting tornados if you ask them first...)Company Name:Universe Air Cargo, Marana AZStarted on: 09/15/1986Ended on: 07/15/1989Job Title:Chief PilotDuties:Part 135 Cargo Chief Pilot & Line Captain, Twin-Bonanza/Seneca/Lance/Cardinal (Many, many adventures from behind the desk...excuse me Bob, would you please put down the parts manager?)
EDUCATION HISTORY

School Name:Arizona State University & Mesa Community CollegeStarted on: 09/15/1975Ended on: 05/15/1982GPA:3.30


I did not add any of the funnies.
 
What did you expect from somebody who went to Tempe Normal State Teachers College (now known laughingly as Arizona State University)? I know two guys that flew with this clown and actually survived. Think there's a reason for so many jobs in such a short time?
 

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