Haha...you're so funny.

uke:
Well, since the vast majority of you guys that post on here want to whine about the "erosion of captain's authority" yet offer no solutions...I offer a one that I've seen work for others. Take charge, be a leader, and all that other captain-y crap...quit whining and do something. Jesus Tapdancin' Christ...
As a guy that practically almost commutes home to DFW every week or so, as well as a one-time gate agent, I'm not clueless as to the etiquette of the jumpseat...on both the captain's end of things and the gate agent's end of things. I hear pilots complain about their problems with getting on the jumpseat...yet, I have little to no problems in comparison (and that's saying something, being a dispatcher, where the typical response is "are you sure you can jumpseat?" from pilot and gate agent alike). Not just DFW, either...pretty much every major hub and alot of outstations...with most airlines.
Wanna get past the gate agents? It's all about
your attitude. Show up to their gate with one and they will go out of their way to ensure you don't get on. Be courteous and respectful and most will go out of their way to help you. Oh, and if you commute from the smaller outstations, be in full on kiss-a$$ mode at all times...they will remember you. I've lied to OAL pilots about jumpseat availability when they were a-holes...and I've bumped revenue pax that were in "questionable condition to fly" in order to get a pilot on.
Also, I'm a big believer in Jumpseat Karma.
If they say they are weight restricted, calmly and courteously ask if there's any chance you can speak with the captain. Decide to cop attitude, and see the paragraph above. They don't know you guys can sometimes make the numbers work...and you can't expect them to know that.
I know I shouldn't have to give a grade-school primer in jumpseating...but I swear, sometimes I feel like I should teach an ettiquite class or something with the things I see and hear about out there.