bchjetdrvr
King Of Swing
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2006
- Posts
- 96
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Unreal Aviation News
The Thin Newswire:
LATE BREAKING NEWS
It is with great sadness that our beloved B1.9" is reported missing. We shall miss him dearly for the time he is away. All we can hope for now is a slow recovery. Circumstances surrounding the missing B1.9" is still not yet clear. Reports are coming in from various news sources at the time of press. Their accounts are drawing a shady picture. Authorities have yet to rule out foul play.
Eye witnesses told authorities that B1.9" was last seen driving out of his small suburb town sometime past midnight. One eyewitness was able to indentify it as B1.9"s vehicle from his license plate #. Which amazingly was labeled; 1108LUVR. Various bumper stickers also dotted the car. One in particular read “1108 – Ain’t they great!” Others reading, “1108-Not just a # but A way of life”, “Out of the 1108 closet and proud”.
What we do know is that sometime between 11:08 pm and 11:08am, B1.9" went missing. His car was found in the parking lot of an all night Taiwanese midget massage parlor on state road 1108. The car was found when the 3rd shift was coming on duty. No forced entry was visible. Multipile Astroglide and Red Bull bottles could be found strewn about the floor of the car.
An anonymous caller made the following call to the authorities around 3am. “We want $11,080,000 or we’re gonna make B1.9" sign an 1108 voting ballot!” The police officers on duty were heard laughing in the back ground, followed by a click of the phone and went about their business.
Acquaintances have been quoted to say:
400Pilot;
“We used to talk a lot. He would come to me when he got down about his “size”. I told him it was ok, that a lot of guys are built like that. Girls don’t really care. I mean… I lied…wouldn’t you?”
TurboHonda;
“I’m gonna miss our long walks on the tarmac. He looked so cute in that tiny C-172.”
Hobbes;
“This is just tragic, who’s gonna send me packets of kool-aid at Xmas? F$CK!”
CA1900;
“I’m gonna miss his fractional jokes. He could make any laugh when he told those.”
WabiSabi;
“B19 is missing!? Did you check Cleveland?”
RealityMan;
“He was the fantasyland to my reality, like ying and yang we were.”
Fischman;
“He used to read me log book entries of his C-150 flight time. That crazy B1.9"! Gonna miss him"
SilverSurfer;
"WHO THE F--K CARES"
Unreal Aviation News is awaiting a news brief by the local authorities conducting the investigation. UAN has been told
that all fake B1.9" posts are popping up across FI.com. They suggest ignoring these replies and/or posts at all costs.
"Doing so will just incite more useless information than we need right now. This will only hamper our search efforts. So please do
not accept any postings by a B1.9" as authentic until further notice.", Chief Investigator[SIZE=+0] private Hugo Dick said.[/SIZE]
Stayed tuned for updates (seriously)
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Help sign the petition below (hit reply) and state that you will abide by Investigator's Hugo Dick's request. Your signature is appreciate. Let us all pray now.
count me in on the effort to stomp out FUD. 
