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Tubroprop and other Prop Flyers
- Thread starter KingAirer
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Sitting on the transient ramp at Kirtland AFB in the middle of the night, working on the #2 engine of a PB4Y-2. A group of security police wonder by to check out the airplane.
"This thing looks old fashioned." (that's funny, it looked new in 1944, you dunce).
"How come it's got propellers?" (how come your humvee has wheels?).
"When you gonna put turbines on it?" (Next week. We're holding a bake sale to pay for the engines. Next?).
"How come the tires are so big?" (Cause we couldn't afford to spring for the body lift, and nobody made a suspension kit big enough. Anyway, you know what they say about the size of a pilot's tires, right?).
"No guns?" (here, kid. Have the last of the candy).
"Where do you scoop the water?" (we don't. We hire large groups of illegal aliens to piss in the bomb bays when we stop for fuel).
"How come it's dripping so much oil." (We don't have dipsticks for the oil tanks. When it quits dripping, we know it's out of oil). (It's also a white-shirt detector).
"Ever scoop up skin divers by mistake?" (We don't scoop. We load after landing. We do it through a three inch hose. How many skin divers can you fit in a three inch hose?)
"My grand dad got hit in the head by a flashlight that somebody dropped in the tank on one of these things, years ago." (You must be related to the 2,500 other people that told us the exact same thing this year. What a coincidence).
"I heard these things aren't very safe." (I heard the same thing, too. Who'd you hear it from?).
"How come it don't smell like jet fuel?" (cause we don't got no jets, dontcha know?)
"This thing belongs in a museum." (Gadzooks, you're right! It completely slipped my mind. I was supposed to have it back, hours ago. Where ever does the time go?)
"Can you imagine when the air force was flying these?" (This was a little before the USAF, son. Can you imagine that?)
"It doesn't look very fast." (Oh, you'd be surprised. Sometimes, just after takeoff, we'll give her the coals, and on a good day if you listen really close, you can hear it emit a supersonic pop.)
"You guys are gone how long? Where does your family stay?" (I keep them locked up in a small box under the floorboards, just aft of the bomb bay. Wanna have a look?)
"Did you ever crash one of these?" (Twice, I was killed the second time. You?)
"So, are you doing this so you can fly for the airlines some day?" (Hysterical laughter while rolling on the floor, followed by convulsive spasms until the SP's get bored and leave). (Compadre just looks a little embarassed, and says, Well, no. That would be sort of...a...step...down.").
On flying jumpers, it's a matter of checking with your local DZ. If they operate something you're qualified to fly, then they might consider it. You can sometimes find ads in Parachutist or other industry rags, or web sites. You'll probably find that you may get used as a backup pilot, but don't count on it to pay the bills right away.
"This thing looks old fashioned." (that's funny, it looked new in 1944, you dunce).
"How come it's got propellers?" (how come your humvee has wheels?).
"When you gonna put turbines on it?" (Next week. We're holding a bake sale to pay for the engines. Next?).
"How come the tires are so big?" (Cause we couldn't afford to spring for the body lift, and nobody made a suspension kit big enough. Anyway, you know what they say about the size of a pilot's tires, right?).
"No guns?" (here, kid. Have the last of the candy).
"Where do you scoop the water?" (we don't. We hire large groups of illegal aliens to piss in the bomb bays when we stop for fuel).
"How come it's dripping so much oil." (We don't have dipsticks for the oil tanks. When it quits dripping, we know it's out of oil). (It's also a white-shirt detector).
"Ever scoop up skin divers by mistake?" (We don't scoop. We load after landing. We do it through a three inch hose. How many skin divers can you fit in a three inch hose?)
"My grand dad got hit in the head by a flashlight that somebody dropped in the tank on one of these things, years ago." (You must be related to the 2,500 other people that told us the exact same thing this year. What a coincidence).
"I heard these things aren't very safe." (I heard the same thing, too. Who'd you hear it from?).
"How come it don't smell like jet fuel?" (cause we don't got no jets, dontcha know?)
"This thing belongs in a museum." (Gadzooks, you're right! It completely slipped my mind. I was supposed to have it back, hours ago. Where ever does the time go?)
"Can you imagine when the air force was flying these?" (This was a little before the USAF, son. Can you imagine that?)
"It doesn't look very fast." (Oh, you'd be surprised. Sometimes, just after takeoff, we'll give her the coals, and on a good day if you listen really close, you can hear it emit a supersonic pop.)
"You guys are gone how long? Where does your family stay?" (I keep them locked up in a small box under the floorboards, just aft of the bomb bay. Wanna have a look?)
"Did you ever crash one of these?" (Twice, I was killed the second time. You?)
"So, are you doing this so you can fly for the airlines some day?" (Hysterical laughter while rolling on the floor, followed by convulsive spasms until the SP's get bored and leave). (Compadre just looks a little embarassed, and says, Well, no. That would be sort of...a...step...down.").
On flying jumpers, it's a matter of checking with your local DZ. If they operate something you're qualified to fly, then they might consider it. You can sometimes find ads in Parachutist or other industry rags, or web sites. You'll probably find that you may get used as a backup pilot, but don't count on it to pay the bills right away.
SPBRIAN
Well-known member
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2002
- Posts
- 103
As AVBUG said, the best way is to look around. Most likely the larger drop zone you go to won't use you due to the insurance requirements on turbines. Look for one of those ma and pa's that run a few 182's or 206's... Also this could be considered a fast way to go broke, but definatelly if you can put up with it and you go to the ma and pa that stays busy with the 182's you can easily wrack up some hours. Since you skydive it makes it even easier, good luck.
-Brian
-Brian
Skyliner
Member
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2002
- Posts
- 23
...and the tower floats, too
A year or so ago, I was chatting with the ticket agent at Kenmore Air's Lake Union seaplane base. She had a story of how one day a female passenger came into the building with her bags and sat down in the flight waiting area. After about 20 minutes, the passenger came up to the counter and asked, "Um, excuse me, where is the runway?"
The agent gestured behind her towards the lake, "Right there."
The passenger stood there for a moment, with a puzzled look on her face, then quietly turned around and went back to her seat.
A year or so ago, I was chatting with the ticket agent at Kenmore Air's Lake Union seaplane base. She had a story of how one day a female passenger came into the building with her bags and sat down in the flight waiting area. After about 20 minutes, the passenger came up to the counter and asked, "Um, excuse me, where is the runway?"
The agent gestured behind her towards the lake, "Right there."
The passenger stood there for a moment, with a puzzled look on her face, then quietly turned around and went back to her seat.
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