Tubroprop and other Prop Flyers

[KingAirer]

Prop Flyers...
I thought it might be interesting to hear some more stories like the ones chperpilot had on another thread...concerning b1900.

Every day I hear comments like...

"You've got to be fu@king kidding me"
"This piece of Sh!t belongs in a museum"
"Oh my god"

And the list goes on...

I have had an occasion were i was flying a Baron one day. The passenger we were taking was all chipper and happy walking at a fast clip, Opened the door to the ramp to get in the plane and she comes to a dead stop and her face loses her happy chipper look and refuses to go.

What are some other funny stories about pax complaints or little old ladies who refuse to fly.

Happy holidays

 

[BRA]

I got the "don't forget to twist the rubber band" comment from some guy in boston last week.

"inflight movie?" get that take about once every 8 days.

"drink cart?" that one about every 7 days.

"Where is the lavatory?" - once every 2 weeks.

 

[avbug]

Does it come with seat covers?

Do I need a tetanus shot before getting in?

Where are the parachutes?

Are you old enough to drive? (I used to get that one a lot...even had a few folks ask to see a driver's license)

Where do you flush it?

Where are the guns? (kids seem to ask this a lot)

You've done this before, right? (no)

I'm afraid of heights! (It's okay, so am I)

Or a favorite, eons ago, preparing to fly out of whitmore canyon inside the Grand Canyon, in a Cessna 207. I was picking up a group of gay men, who chartered a trip down the canyon every year. One of them sidled up to me with the lisp thing going, in a purple silk shirt, and put his arm on my shoulder. "Is this thing thsafe?" (I say to each his own, but that guy gave me the willies).

No, it's not. You and I are probably going to die in this airplane. Get in. Let's get going...

 

[ClassG]

In the Beech 1900:
The best reply to the old lady (or arrogant businessman) who asks if you're old enough to fly this thing, got a lot of hours, had enough sleep, etc:

Say this loud enough for all 19 pax to hear it:

No ma'am, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night!




If you're the captain and as you hand the paperwork out the window to your ramper (again, loud enough for them to hear it in row 9):
Alright now, don't rush me, I still need to figure out what all these switches do!

Of course, a professional like myself would never do these things, but it sure is funny when someone else does. Besides, somehow it lightens up the anxiety among the pax.


God I miss flying that ugly little Beotch. A face only a mother could love.

 

[Brother Francis]

Jetstream. Female FO boards the pax, closes the door, takes her station and off they go.

A week later the chief pilot got a nastygram from one of the pax: upset because the flight attendant did not serve drinks and peanuts. In fact, she completely ignored the pax and sat up front talking to the pilot the whole trip.

True story

 

[Smoking Man]

As I was getting the paperwork, I had a lady ask me “is that little plane (Dornier) the one taking me to XYZ”? I responded “You wouldn’t think that it was little if it rolled over your foot, and yes it is going to XYZ”!


The look on her face,.......... Priceless

 

[dashtrash]

They walk around the corner, see the Dash 8, stop, look at their ticket, look back up at the boarding sign, look back at the Dash 8, put their head down, shake it side to side, and get on. Or if they are from Japan out of YVR, they pull out a camera.

 

[mar]

Then there was the CoEx jumpseater

If this story sounds familiar to you, I apologize. I enjoyed chatting with you but it was kind of funny.

I'm standing with the FO outside of a Metroliner in Anchorage. We're headed for King Salmon. We have a 1900 capt for CoEx going with us. He wants to check out our bush operation and maybe camp out--just for fun. He's got a backpack and done some research.

While we're boarding he's outside with us asking questions about gravel runways, ice and crosswinds.

"Yup. Lotsa gravel out there. More gravel than pavement," I tell him.

"Yeah, but you don't land on gravel with the Metro. Do you?"

"Oh sure, all the time, just look at the paint job," pointing at the belly behind the nosewheel--it looks like we took shotgun fire.

Another priceless look.

 

[ShawnC]

I walked though the charter operation part of a local (to my home) FBO with a Nomex suit, helmet, and a parachute, mumbling "Time to take that widow making b*tch out..."

The desk crew was in tears, pax in line asking, "Is that our pilot?!?"

Best stunt yet. I no longer fly to that FBO anymore, he sent copies of all the nastygrams that he got to me. I don't think he's very happy with me.

 

[Burt Gutherie]

That is too funny....