Tricks on FA's

[Data]

You can wreak havoc on the ones going thru menopause (which is most of them) with the temp knob.

 

[SWA GUY]

Tell the newby that there is a "lav overheat" and get them to put ice down it for the next 20 minutes. Then thank them for SAVING THE DAY!

 

[dougdrvr]

One of my favorites was the EPA air sample check. Instruct the newbie that sometime during the flight, take two paper cup and walk the entire length of the cabin with a scooping motion, over the passengers heads. Put the two cups together at the end of your "pass", tape them together and write down the time and date.

Actually got someone to do it once, but usually the seniors would intercede.

 

[Fubijaakr]

Don't sleep where you shiitt. You're only asking this if you're trying to hook up with one of those nasty cows.

What, you give up on the gays, grannies and grandes rant, Capt. Taylor?

 

[RiddleEagle18]

Take some yogurt and put it in a paper bag. Before landing call the FA's and tell them the FO isnt feeling well and hes been throwing up.

When you land and open the door have the FA come up. Have the FO holding the bag open and talk about how he thinks he ate something bad. The FA usually asks what hes had? FO opens the bag and says Im not really sure? Sticks his finger in and licks it. The capt then takes the bag with some sort of "let me see" comment and does the same.

 

[zippy32]

"Welcome aboard Flt 23. We some of our best flight attendants here to help you today. Cindy in the front is extremely talented and speaks 7 different languages. She is fluent in Spanish, French, German, Italian, Chinese, and Japanese. If you speak any of these languages, then make sure to order your drinks in that language and she'll love to have a conversation with you."

 

[charlie2]

Take some yogurt and put it in a paper bag. Before landing call the FA's and tell them the FO isnt feeling well and hes been throwing up.

When you land and open the door have the FA come up. Have the FO holding the bag open and talk about how he thinks he ate something bad. The FA usually asks what hes had? FO opens the bag and says Im not really sure? Sticks his finger in and licks it. The capt then takes the bag with some sort of "let me see" comment and does the same.

Awesome. It would even be better if they ate at the same place and had the same thing!

 

[CFIT]

Write on the FMS scratch pad "overhead bin 5A open", bring the FA up into the cockpit and show them the message. When they leave to check the bin, change it to some other number or side, repeat a couple of times, then write, "you're an idiot".

Get your own coffee for the rest of the trip.

Probably should just leave them alone.

As the old saying goes; "show me a man willing to sleep with a Flight Attendant, and I'll show you a man who's too lazy to jackoff".

 

[PBRstreetgang]

Replace their birth control pills with tic tacs, but this is really more of a trick on the F/O.

 

[bizjet800]

When u make a pre-departure announcement, say that you would like to introduce your pax to your lead FA (or whatever position she is working). Amy (or whatever her name is) has been with us for x number of years... while she is one of our best FA's, I am sad to announce that this is her last flight with (your airline)... She has decided to leave our airline to pursue a career on the professional womans bowlers tour.... As it turns out, she is quite the bowler... I would ask that you each wish her well in her new career choice once she leaves (your airline)... Thank you, and we should be underway shortly...

Once airborne, ask her what the pax said to her...

I would also add, "Leave your feet out of the aisle, she might be practicing!"

I heard one: the announcer said something like, welcome aboard, our marginal crew (then a fake grunt from a punch) oops, our exceptional crew....is here to serve you....