T
TDTURBO
Airplane Maintance
> >After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet,
which
> >conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft
during the
> >flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct
the
> >problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form
what
> >remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets
before
> >the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers
lack
> >a sense of humor!
> >
> >Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as
> >submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance
> >engineers.(Bythe way, Qantas is the only major airline that has
never had an
> >accident.)
> >
> >P = The problem logged by the pilot
> >S = The solution and action taken by the engineers
> >
> >P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> >S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
> >
> >P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
> >S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
> >
> >P: Something loose in cockpit.
> >S: Something tightened in cockpit.
> >
> >P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> >S: Live bugs on back-order.
> >
> >P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> >S: Evidence removed.
> >
> >P: DME volume unbelievably loud. (Distance Measuring Equipment)
> >S: DME volume set to more believable level.
> >
> >P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> >S: That's what they're there for.
> >
> >P: IFF inoperative.
> >S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
> >
> >P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> >S: Suspect you're right.
> >
> >P: Number 3 engine missing.
> >S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
> >
> >P: Aircraft handles funny.
> >S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
> >
> >P: Target radar hums.
> >S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
> >
> >P: Mouse in cockpit.
> >S: Cat installed.
> >
> >P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding
> >on something with a hammer.
> >S: Took hammer away from midget.
> >After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet,
which
> >conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft
during the
> >flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct
the
> >problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form
what
> >remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets
before
> >the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers
lack
> >a sense of humor!
> >
> >Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as
> >submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance
> >engineers.(Bythe way, Qantas is the only major airline that has
never had an
> >accident.)
> >
> >P = The problem logged by the pilot
> >S = The solution and action taken by the engineers
> >
> >P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> >S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
> >
> >P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
> >S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
> >
> >P: Something loose in cockpit.
> >S: Something tightened in cockpit.
> >
> >P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> >S: Live bugs on back-order.
> >
> >P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> >S: Evidence removed.
> >
> >P: DME volume unbelievably loud. (Distance Measuring Equipment)
> >S: DME volume set to more believable level.
> >
> >P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> >S: That's what they're there for.
> >
> >P: IFF inoperative.
> >S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
> >
> >P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> >S: Suspect you're right.
> >
> >P: Number 3 engine missing.
> >S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
> >
> >P: Aircraft handles funny.
> >S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
> >
> >P: Target radar hums.
> >S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
> >
> >P: Mouse in cockpit.
> >S: Cat installed.
> >
> >P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding
> >on something with a hammer.
> >S: Took hammer away from midget.
