Ace-of-the-Base said:
I just keep laughing my rear off reading these posts!! Hey Hawk, you ever been on an aircraft carrier? Sleeping in little bunks with a bunch of other pilots, showering, sh$ting, shaving, all in public. Do you think they can't go fly a good sortie? Get the collective sticks out of your a$$s. There are bigger issues in this industry than snoring. Is this really what a group of pu$$ys the pilots of today have become? Get over yourselves.
Ace
Hey, if my company provided an F/A-18 Hornet to hit a competitor's HQ at dawn with a couple 1,000 pounders plus some canisters of napalm thrown in for good measure, and a full bin of 20mm to light up their "targets-of-opportunity" delivery trucks out on the interstate on my way back to the company hangar...he11, I'd bunk up with Richard Simmons.
(I'd still make sure he noticed I slept with a loaded .45 auto under my pillow, though. And btw, if anyone has any info on a job like this, PM me)
But until that day and job containing the aforementioned perks and rewards arrives in the corporate world, seperate hotel rooms is the standard.
And if it did indeed come to pass that the term "corporate warfare" actually meant something....why, what exciting days they'd be! Just imagine....
...Coke and Pepsi laid to waste through strike and counter-strike, Dr. Pepper finally rising like a carbonated bubble to it's rightful place atop the smouldering soft drink heap by default....
....Second-rate pretender to the Ketchup Throne Hunt's carpet-bombed into oblivion courtesy of Heinz, who's seemingly limitless supply of 500 lb, explosively-squishable, foil packets filled with Prez Reagan's (RIP) favorite vegetable rain down like matchsticks, thus settling the Ketchup Dispute once and for all.
...GM and Ford frantically re-tooling for a ground war as their flight departments vie overhead, and woe to Nissan or Honda or any other Matchbox Car Builder caught trying to intervene or carpetbag, unless of course they want another atomic a$$-stomping back home.....
....Armour's flight department deep-napalm-frying acres of Tyson's farms and pens pre-market in it's bid to have hot dogs and bologna reign 'oer chicken nuggets as the kid-fattening, Mystery Meat food of choice once again...
....Purina, in an unholy alliance with Petsmart and using the warm fuzzy-sounding, parent-targeted facade of Operation "Buy A Puppy...It's Real Life Fun", secretly breeding an evil, genetically-altered race of flying warrior monkeys trained to knock down fantasy-huckster/entertainment-octopus Disney's attempt to seize every American kid's leisure time and allowances using squadrons of Chitty Chitty Bang Bangs so vast they darken the sky commanded by a sugar-crazed Willy aloft in his Wonkavator....
....Kellog's pilots skywriting "Wheaties, The Breakfast of Pu$$ies" over the Twin Cities in a strategic psy-ops assault aimed at the cereal-munching masses. General Mills and it's pilots, responding in kind but with a flourish of cultural diversity and support for the arts befitting any good PDR of Minnesota "progressive" corporation by hiring some of the more...shall we say..."creatively-inclined" residents of downtown Minneapolis as expert consultants, retaliate and up the ante with the creation of a giant, detailed and colored Sky Mural depicting Tony the Tiger being bent-over and buggered by Fruit Loops Toucan Sam in the sky above Battle Creek.....
....FEDEX airplanes painted like UPS airplanes delivering all UPS packages to Timbuktu. UPS airplanes painted like FEDEX airplanes delivering all FEDEX packages to Vladivostok. USPS airplanes painted like UPS and FEDEX airplanes delivering FEDEX and UPS and USPS packages to other uninhabited, unspellable destinations. The alphabet-soup world of overnight package delivery sevice run amok and in chaos! Tracking numbers...useless!! Nobody knows where anything is!!! Anarchy!!!!...
....Insurance companies get busy hitting one another's insurees in around-the-clock sorties, driving rates and losses sky-high. Financial institutions join the fray...nobody's safe!....until Warren Buffett pools his assets in a bold-faced attempt to coalesce his power and become Emperor of the Planet sitting on a throne in Omaha, which inadvertently unites the remaining contenders against him, the final blow coming to his evil designs when NJI finally defects to the Forces of Good where they belong, and the NJA Armada remains on the ground, useless and whining, when it's pilots refuse to fly for anything less than $1,000,000 per year.....
...And of particularly foul and dripping ugliness would be the Mayonnaise Wars; putting the "he11" back in Hellman's, the main belligerents' use of modified, ag spray planes with hoppers filled with rancid, not-refrigerated-after-opened product to mount chemical attacks would cause even the most non-squeamish among us to turn away in disgust...
I swear, the possiblities and potential paths to glory would be simply endless.
)
TC
