Radio Pet Peeves

[Femur]

Not an annoyance, but a funny story....

ATC: "Comair XX, traffic is at one o'clock, five miles, a flight of two S-3's at 5000"
(S-3's are UHF only, so we couldn't hear Comair's reply)
ATC: "Uhhhh, I'm not sure... I'll ak him... VIDAR 2 what's a S-3's mission?"
VIDAR 2: (without skipping a beat) "Killing.'"

 

[U-I pilot]

Re: Other pet peeves....

Other pet peeves:

I know a captain who hates hotel shower heads so he carried his own with a wrench to change it at hotels he stayed at! Cool guy in cockpit though!

Do they still allow the wrench through security check points?

 

[ms6073]

Lrjcaptain may have been a bit harsh, but after six years of flying across the south-central U.S., I've discovered that Memphis Center is, in general, the least flexible and least friendly of the six I deal with (Fort Worth, Albuquerque, Memphis, Atlanta, Washington, and Jacksonville.) Ask Memphis for anything that's not on your filed flight plan, and most of the time, they go into total brain-lock.

Gonna have to agree on this one! Made the mistake a number of years ago of trying to depart the Raytheon FBO (or was it Signature?) around 6:30 in the evening. This was when the center runway was under construction and we got in line something like 20th or so behind a bunch of aircraft from Express, Mesaba, and NWA. Somehow the ATC specialists got our strip wrong as all the controllers thought our King Air 200 was a Beech Baron. Not only did they they take us on a 30 mile detour to the northwest before allowing us to turn south on course. Worse yet, because they thought we were a baron, until we asked for a climb to higher and enquired why we were being kept so low, they had us droning along at only 3000' the whole time!

 

[Lrjtcaptain]

WEll, I keep getting asked why MEM ARTCC is my petpieve and i'll tell you.

I fly through there quite a bit and It takes me about 2 radio calls get them to say my callsign correctly even though no one else seems to have problems, then they do wired things to my routing that really don't seem to make any sense, cause then the next controller is like what the hell are you doing? They dont seem to use proper phraseology. Im no expert but did take 3 1/2 of ATC at ERAU and did do lab instructing for riddle. Ive read the 7110.65L before and things that come out of there mouth don't make sense alot of times. They just drive me crazy. Try to avoid them if i can but how easy is it to avoid a center?

 

[avbug]

If you think a kingair being mistaken for a baron is bad, trying being in a large four engine airplane, and being mistaken for a light single.

On long trips in the PB4Y-2, we were often asked by controller about our aircraft type. Since this frequently happened with every handoff, it was easier to tell them we were a B-24. However, sometimes this got entered as BE-24 (which off the top of my head is either the sierra or sundowner, I think).

Once in Florida we were entering some solid weather with embedded conditions. Radar isn't even a longing thought in those airplanes, and I asked the controller for any weather radar advisories. He advised me to contact FSS, as his radar "isn't very good."

The FSS specialist to whom I talked asked our aircraf type. Oh, he said. Then you'll be going above the weather, anyway. no, we'll be cruising at 12,000. Well then, he said. You can't be a large airplane, because large airplanes don't cruise that low. We reexplained ourselves. He said four engine airplanes don't cruise that low. He refused to believe us, or provide us with weather information. He told us that we needed to get on the ground where it was safe, and sit out this weather.

I explained that we were a large four engine airplane on an IFR flight plan and clearance, and only wanted a weather update and any weather he might see ahead for us. This occured several times, with him talking down to us as though we were private pilots out of our league...I finally thanked him and switched back to center.

I did get balled out once for a reply ATC asked altitude climbing to. The honest truth was that I didn't know what we could get. We would climb to whatever altitude conditions might permit, but it would take a long time getting there. I replied, "Whatever we can get." That didn't go over too well. What altitude were we planning? We weren't. More like hoping, really. Say intended altitude. Anything that we can transfer from above the wing to beneath will be great...looking at darn near one hundred feet right now, sir...

 

[ATCER]

Lrjcaptain may have been a bit harsh, but after six years of flying across the south-central U.S., I've discovered that Memphis Center is, in general, the least flexible and least friendly of the six I deal with (Fort Worth, Albuquerque, Memphis, Atlanta, Washington, and Jacksonville.) Ask Memphis for anything that's not on your filed flight plan, and most of the time, they go into total brain-lock.

Now I'm willing to give most people the benefit of the doubt. It's possible that Memphis controlls airspace with a lot of unique features that make flexibility impractical...I haven't really analyzed it, to tell you the truth. Or maybe it's the brand of coffee they use...

Fort Worth and Albuquerque have the friendliest, most easy-going controllers of the six centers I meantioned above. Must be something about the southwest.

Tell me this: why does it take three calls to get an answer from Jacksonville center at night? During the day, no problem...but I can count on my fingers the number of times Jax has answered my first call at night!

(Oh, and you never answered my question about hearing "Merry Christmas" six thousand times per shift...do you guys hate that?)

Whew... I have to check this board more often... it takes me a while to read this thread and catch up...

I asked about Memphis because... well... I can't comment. I have to tow the line if you know what I mean... All I can say is it is not you...

As for Jax they have some pretty large sectors from what I understand. At night an area may only have 4-6 controllers working and only 2-3 of them on positions which are made up of numerous combined sectors. This leads to having multiple freqs, if you call there is a delay on finding who you are, and then whta freq to transmit on to talk to you.

As for the X-Mas thing I missed that in the earlier post... it must have been stepped on ...

Nah... most don't mind hearing something like that all day, traffic is light and people are being friendly. Never bothers me... hey, we're all working, why not be friendly... I'll be working X-Mas this year...

Avbug - as for your situation it is a tough one... most (including me) would have to look up your plane... I would have NO idea what it is. In a situation like yours the correct way for us is to have the preceding facility pass the info about you on the land line... that does not always happen... for a variety of reasons. As for FSS I can't help ya there... I got into it with them on the phone once... called for a wx briefing and got lectured on the proper way to ask for a briefing...

 

[414Flyer]

Okay here is one more.

Why ".... on the meter" , in regards to reading back altimeter setting?

 

[FatesPilot]

Heard at Palo Alto, CA

*spoken with a gruff old man's voice*

From the guy in the bird to the guy in the tower
You're up there, I'm down here
Give me the word and I'll give her the power!

 

[Typhoon1244]

Okay here is one more. Why "... on the meter," in regards to reading back altimeter setting?

Just laziness. I'm guilty of this one, too...although I don't find it as annoying as "on the hold."

 

[MetroSheriff]

Re: Heard at Palo Alto, CA

[BFrom the guy in the bird to the guy in the tower
You're up there, I'm down here
Give me the word and I'll give her the power! [/B]

DORK