pilotwife update

[Timebuilder]

Orville-

As I read your "check this out" link, I had a thought about the woman who was doing the complaining that she hadn't married someone else. It made me wonder what she considered to be a "normal" guy, in her mind. You can tell that this marriage was in trouble, and would be, even if the guy in question was a gardener.

For other complaining wives who may stumble across this thread, I have an observation. In my considerable experience, women don't often pick the nice, intelligent, stable man. They pick the "bad boy" because they are attracted to the "rebellious" type. They have an idea that they are somehow going to "fix" this guy, and get him to conform to what they want as they grow older. Au contraire.

The helpful, supportive spouse, on the other hand, made a rational decision about what she was getting into when she married the pilot. She knew the challenges. She is prepared for the task. Likely, she'd be married to this man no matter what his occupation. That's a marriage.

Rich Man and I agree. Pilotswife's husband is a lucky guy, indeed. If I am lucky, I will find a wife like her.

 

[Orvilleflyer]

Timebuilder-

In responce to your post, I agree that a lot of woman do pick a jerk at some point in their lives, just to try it out. Then once they've had enough of the bad boy, it's over. Some women continually pick jerks, too. Most women I think, go the first route, if at all. I think it's a small percentage that continually do the jerk route period however. If I could give one speck of advice in this thread I'd have to say as a general rule, it's wise not to marry until one is in their thirties; that's when I believe the cycles of a person's being have truely stabilized. In other words- in your thirties, you're certainly not done changing, but at least you're at a point in life where you don't change as much ... Does that make any sence?

 

[Timebuilder]

It certainly does make sense, and I can attest to that advice in my own life.

At 32, I was all ready to marry a girl, and due to my added maturity, I decided that there were too many factors in the "negative" column, and avoided what could easily have become years of pain.

I counsel young men to choose wisely, or they will end up sending most of their paycheck to suport children they rarely see, and women they no longer love.

As Rick Wakeman once told me (former YES keyboardist), make sure you think with the right "head".

 

[Jump Pilot]

From WIFE of Jump Pilot:

Had to chime in on this conversation, since I've been living this situation for the last several years and no end in sight (thanks to 9-11). Jump Pilot has worked a 9-5 job during the week and flown jumpers virtually every weekend for the last 21/2 years.

My advice - don't give up the dream! But to make it work I do believe it does take a special relationship between husband and wife, the willingness to think outside the box, a true knowingness about what's important in life, and a faith that we find ourselves in situations to learn and grow from them.

We decided life was too short for each of us not to pursue our dreams. And yet, we have a profound commitment to our family (two boys - 10 and 5). Following your dream and having a family ARE NOT mutually exclusive!! Our choice is that we will find a way to make it work. It's that simple - it's just a decision. Simple yes, easy no! There have definitely been struggles and I know there will be more. But each time we come out on the other side we look back and realize it wasn't so bad after all.

I can tell you we've survived on a lot less money than I ever thought we could over the last 2 1/2 years. And we learned that there were a lot of material things that we really could live without that didn't affect our quality of living, our relationships. We laugh and say we're the poorest we've ever been and also the happiest.

Yes, it's hard on the kids sometimes, but we explain to them over and over again why we're doing what we're doing as a family. If you're considering letting go of your dream, think about this - if you do, what will you be teaching your kids????? You'll be teaching them that when things get tough, you quit - that their dreams aren't worth pursuing. My 10 year old had to complete a history assignment recently where the question was "What does being an American mean to you?" One of his answers was, "Being able to follow your dream, like Dad does." You don't teach a kid those kinds of things by doing a job you hate for 45 years.

I agree with those of you who've said if your significant other doesn't encourage you to follow your dreams, something's not right. Having said that, that doesn't mean you follow your dream to the exclusion of other things that are important in life. It'a all about finding the right balance. It's not about whether you do it, it's about how you do it.

Keep flying!

 

[cjh]

Re: Re: Geez

Marth Stewart? Is that you?

Unfortunately now you are on your way to jail for insider trading.

Well, it was nice while it lasted.

LOL! I've been compared to a lot of people, but Martha ain't one of em'. I haven't cooked in years, wouldn't garden if you paid me, and can't imagine anything more boring than crafts. On the other hand, I'd love to have her income - at least the income she had.

And as far as insider trading goes, find me one CEO in the country with stock in their own companies who doesn't take advantage of inside information when purchasing or selling company stock. It disgusts me when the government picks certain people, male or female, and uses them as scapegoats. Do the masses really believe anything will change for the other 99.9% doing the same thing?

 

[Orvilleflyer]

In my opinion, this is the kind of post that makes a message board shine- everyone giving positive input on a subject that effects us all!

My question is, what if you have 2 dreams?

 

[Timebuilder]

I know that there's a joke in there, but I'm not going after it........

 

[atpcliff]

Hi!

I'm 40, married, 2 kids. I couldn't find a flying job in 1991, and was out of flying for 10 years. I got back in, and my relationship with my wife now is the best it has been.

She likes my schedule, and loves my pay. She just wishes I had started back into flying 5 years ago instead of 2.

I would quit flying if it was better for my family. The trick is, to find someone who is supportive of you, and you want to be supportive of her. I played Mr. Mom for a number of years to support her career.

Good luck to all,

CLiff
GRB

 

[katanabob]

Re: Re: Re: Geez

And as far as insider trading goes, find me one CEO in the country with stock in their own companies who doesn't take advantage of inside information when purchasing or selling company stock. It disgusts me when the government picks certain people, male or female, and uses them as scapegoats. Do the masses really believe anything will change for the other 99.9% doing the same thing?

You're forgetting that the SEC mandates that these people with priveleged information file a public document prior to the sale of stock and that there is a waiting period involved. To act immediately on insider information without filing and waiting is insider trading, and is illegal whether you do it or a CEO does it.

 

[cjh]

True, but it happens anyway. There is a company whose stock I watch, and about which I have "inside" information about - no I don't own any of the stock myself. The most senior people constantly have "planned sales" that usually never materialize. However, in a coincidental move, just before a really bad quarterly report came out, almost every one of these senior individuals sold massive amounts of stock. Seems they all had sudden needs that required they cash out. Homes, college, etc. So, while the stock plummeted, these guys put in some cases millions in their pockets, errrrr - I mean "homes".

Don't get me wrong. I highly resent the government's intrusion into so many aspects of our lives. However, I also resent role playing that serves only to protect cushy government jobs. Can anyone say "airline security". Sigh.

 

[Mr. Irrelevant]

cjh,


Almost every company in America has been issuing dissapointing quarterly reports. The SEC has a very high success rate (over 90%) in tracking down and prosecuting those who front-run their trades based on material non-public infomation. You can bet every single large trade that took place in the days before that earnings announcement has been reviewed by the SEC.

Plus, as Katanabob mentioned, all officers had to file. The SEC knew it was going to happen and allowed the trades with probably very good knowledge of the company's financial status.

Martha isn't being investigated by the SEC just because someone didn't like one of her products. She made a big trade that probably stuck out like a prison jumpsuit in a courtroom!

By the way, I think the cushy jobs are also at the top of the pile.

Peace.


Mr. I.

 

[michael707767]

I don't know if my career choice has had anything to do with my wife and I seperating. ---- Family is far more important than flying or any job. Yes, it is an amazing career, but I'll take my marriage back first. I would quit flying tomorrow and do any other job if my wife came back to me. She helped build my dream and we dreamed together and now that she is gone, I feel like part of my dream is gone too. I have come to realize that family is priceless and careers are replacable.

While I agree with you that family is more important than a career, don't ever think your career ended you marriage. In the military I was deployed all the time, and was worried about the effect on my marriage, since there was a high divorce rate in our wing. I asked one of the older members of my squadron if he thought that the stress of our job destroyed marriages, and to this day I agree with what he said...."the stress of this job won't destroy a good marriage, but it will accelerate the end of a bad one".

 

[B-J-J Fighter]

If you look in my profile, my current position is Mr. Mom. I have already graduated college and now that I dont have a flying job Im letting my wife finish up her BS because she has been accepted into dental school. Im currently wating to her back from the Mil to see if I got in. Whatever it takes to get my wife through dental school Im going to do. That was her dream and Im going to let her chase it. Mine was to fly and currently its not gettting the bills paid unless I get into the mil. If I dont get in Im going to get a job in law enforcement.

My #1 goal is to get my wife through dental school. Dentists usually make 150K plus there 1st yr in practice. My wife has promised me that if I do WHATEVER it takes to get her through dental school I can retire and do whatever I want the day she graduates. Im only 26 now and she should have everything finished up in about 5 yrs. Im looking at being retired by the time Im 32. Pleny of time to the things I love, cant wait.

 

[skyking1976]

Best job in the world

My wife and I have been together for over 5 years now. Not all that long in the grand scheme of things, nevertheless, she was and still is 100% supportive of me and my flying career. If flying is what makes you happy then a good spouse will recognize that and be happy for you. This is exactly what my wife does and I love her all the more for that. My best job in the world is being a husband.

Flying is a job . . . . . not a life.

Dead wrong, my friend. Working in an office 9 to 5 is a job. Flying is a lifestyle.

Wife = Ball-and-Chain

Grow up, junior.

 

[Ravengirl]

It's all about priorities, and making those known WELL BEFORE any major life decisions are made.

The man I'm involved with may just be the one I make a real commitment to. He knows I am studying air traffic control and is completely supportive, doing things like quizzing me on the 7110.65 till the wee hours. He knows that starting my career is the most important thing to me right now. He knows at some point I will have to leave for months for the FAA Academy, and that I may be called to go anywhere to do my job. He accepts this. He's not always thrilled, but he understands.

He'd like to eventually go back to school and become a history teacher. I'm sure he'll want to quit working warehouse when he does this. (Working full time + going to school =no fun, I'm doing it now.) I'll probably be the one making the money and paying the bills. I accept this.

I'd think it's natural to want to do everything you can for a person you're committed to, someone you love.

Stephanie