pilotwife update

[Draginass]

Flying is a job . . . . . not a life.

 

[CaptBuzzard]

I don't know if my career choice has had anything to do with my wife and I seperating. She supported me from day one. I met her after I got my private five years ago. She never once made me feel like my career choice was bad. I love her for that. I think the stress that has been involved with my career especially in the last year has been too much. There were some family issues on both sides as well to add to the stress. That is what I think really made us grow apart. I'll tell you what though, I would trade my career anyday to get my marriage back. I love to fly and that is all I have ever wanted and want to do as a career. Family is far more important than flying or any job. Yes, it is an amazing career, but I'll take my marriage back first. I would quit flying tomorrow and do any other job if my wife came back to me. She helped build my dream and we dreamed together and now that she is gone, I feel like part of my dream is gone too. I have come to realize that family is priceless and careers are replacable.

 

[FlyinBrian]

There are really two different situations we are talking about on this thread.

1.) You have a wife and kids and want to change careers to flying.

2.) You are unmarried, and to get married you may have to give up flying.

I'd say in the first scenario, the wife and the kids come first. You made a commitment to them and have a responsibility to them.

In the second scenario, I would say never get married to a woman who would expect that you give up what you love. I am unmarried, and I make sure that any girl I date understands where my career aspirations lie. If she would ask me to give it up, she doesn't know me well enough to be my wife.

 

[SWA/FO]

The above post is right on!!

 

[Hansel]

Don't get me wrong my wife has been very supportive throuthout the years, but sometime it takes someone other than yourself to let you know when the DREAM is all consuming.
She was with me back when I made my first go of itin 1990.
Then when I tried again in 2000, she packed up the kids and moved from our gorgeous house to live with my parents for a year.
Things weren't bad, I got picked up by Ameriflight, and five months after that was picked up by Eagle. Imagine my excitement and high my self esteem were after having not flown in ten years. Then 9/11.
At this time I figured it would be at least two years at Ameriflight before I could get on with a regional. There's no way I could put my wife and kids through that.
We're back in our house now, and life is pretty good, sometimes I feel that I'm already so blessed by what I have, that if I was fortunate of enough to be flying I would have it all.
I was lucky enough to be given a job at a major bank with the potential of doing quite well with plenty of movement.
Thanks for all the great feedback and I invite all to the next party at my house.

 

[de727ups]

To each his own....

I'm 41 now and the older I get the less I'm interested in being married and the more I enjoy my independence. I hear all the stories about marital problems on the line and see the high divorce rate among pilots. Some of you are solid family men and put your family before job...that's as it should be. I have some of those "family" feelings, too, but have satisfied them fine by working with kids in my spare time....foster parenting, church youth group stuff, ect....taking care of the kids other dads are neglecting. I look back and have no regrets....would do it the same way if I had it to do over again. Personally, I think if you're gonna be married and pursue aviation, you better have a darn understanding and agreeable woman to be with...otherwise there are gonna be big problems...ones that could cost you your career.

 

[flywithruss]

Some great posts all the way around ... the family/career balance is important in any line of work, our unusual hours and volatile work environment make it far more intense.

I agree with FlyinBrian ... as a single guy myself, my career is discussed early on in every relationship I've been in. Some women can handle this, and some women can't. If you're a single pilot, don't bother even beginning to get involved with a woman who doesn't have the makeup to handle the lifestyle ... you're just cruising for heartache sooner or later.

I was a Continental intern in 1998 ... during my four months exploring the world from the jumpseat, my highly non-scientific survey revealed an average of two divorces and two furloughs for every pilot I rode with. In all that time (60+ flights over four months) I met ONE pilot who was on his first wife. He was a guy in his late 50s, a Texas native, and I said to him, "I'm really impressed, and I hope I can say the same thing at your age. How have you kept a successful marriage to the same woman for thirty-odd years doing this for a living?" His response? "She is a VERY tolerant person."

Like others have said above, if you're single, make sure your potential girlfriend/wife (or boyfriend/husband, for the ladies on the board) knows for sure what they're getting in to. Better a little hurt now than a heck of a lot more later.

Best of luck, y'all ...

R

 

[A Squared]

flywithruss' informal survey got me wondering, what is hte divorce rate for pilots? Anyone know of results from a more formal survey?


regards

 

[Propnose]

I just turned 34 yrs old yesterday, and have had my Comm. rating for just under a year. I am towing banners now(when we are allowed to..) in order to build time, as I didn't want to go the instructor route. I have a 10yr old son and a fiance' who really doesn't care to fly at all, but she knew that my flying was part of the package, just like my son. She is paying the mortgage right now, and knows that I am working toward the ultimate goal. Once I get there - she stops working. That is the deal we have. I am really lucky. Now if I can just find a company that wants to hire an 800hr pilot!

 

[pilotswife]

We are still hanging in there!

hi everyone!
Things aren't so bad right now. My husband is working 4 days a week as an auto mechanic and 3 days as a freelance flight instructor. He was able to network his way into teaching 2 students who own their own A/C and he has 2 others who are working on private certificates. We are not selling the house to buy our own plane (thank god!!)
I am on a 20 month leave from Continental and am looking forward to doing a few things for myself!
Hope you are all well-
He and I are not giving up on the dream!
pilotswife

p.s. sometimes I wish he would give it up though! (I guess that only makes me human!)

 

[TurboS7]

I see that you have 20 hours. My wife got her private, yes I taught her and now she has about 500 hours. I used to tease her that we should invest a few thousand and get her here comm. inst. and go fly for UAL. I would stay at home and take care of the kids, those dreams are gone now. Enjoy it it will be worth it in the long run.

 

[Rich Man]

Re: We are still hanging in there!

hi everyone!
Things aren't so bad right now. My husband is working 4 days a week as an auto mechanic and 3 days as a freelance flight instructor. He was able to network his way into teaching 2 students who own their own A/C and he has 2 others who are working on private certificates. We are not selling the house to buy our own plane (thank god!!)
I am on a 20 month leave from Continental and am looking forward to doing a few things for myself!
Hope you are all well-
He and I are not giving up on the dream!
pilotswife

p.s. sometimes I wish he would give it up though! (I guess that only makes me human!)

I dont care what anyone else says..... Pilotswife, you're a good woman and your husband a lucky man, Hurray for both of you!

Rich!

 

[Orvilleflyer]

For the pilot wives out there

Check this out

 

[cjh]

Geez

I'm glad to hear there are a few people out there with supportive spouses. I say spouses, rather than wife, because it goes both ways. I can't imagine being married to someone who tried to kill my dreams, nor would I ever be anything but supportive of the dreams of my spouse.

Life is too short to spend it stuck in a job you hate. If you want the plane and the family, it's certainly possible...with the right partner. If one of you must keep pace with the Jones, or is unwilling to make sacrifices for the dreams of the other, then aviation is going to be a struggle. Better hope the non-flying partner makes lots of dough. It's all about choices. If you're willing to sacrifice flying for other things, then either you don't want the dream badly enough, or you didn't keep the focus on the dream when making other choices.

Take it from me. I spent years in a job I hated. Then, I left it to start my own business, doing something I love. Eighteen hour days, seven days a week, for years. We had two small children at the time, and my spouse took charge of being the "primary parent". The end result is that my business is now the largest in its field, and I can enjoy my other passion - flying. It was a struggle, but it was a dream and worth it. It's all about choices.

And btw, I am not only a business owner and a pilot, I'm also a wife!

cj

 

[Clownpilot]

Re: Geez

Marth Stewart? Is that you?

Unfortunately now you are on your way to jail for insider trading.

Well, it was nice while it lasted.

I'm glad to hear there are a few people out there with supportive spouses. I say spouses, rather than wife, because it goes both ways. I can't imagine being married to someone who tried to kill my dreams, nor would I ever be anything but supportive of the dreams of my spouse.

Life is too short to spend it stuck in a job you hate. If you want the plane and the family, it's certainly possible...with the right partner. If one of you must keep pace with the Jones, or is unwilling to make sacrifices for the dreams of the other, then aviation is going to be a struggle. Better hope the non-flying partner makes lots of dough. It's all about choices. If you're willing to sacrifice flying for other things, then either you don't want the dream badly enough, or you didn't keep the focus on the dream when making other choices.

Take it from me. I spent years in a job I hated. Then, I left it to start my own business, doing something I love. Eighteen hour days, seven days a week, for years. We had two small children at the time, and my spouse took charge of being the "primary parent". The end result is that my business is now the largest in its field, and I can enjoy my other passion - flying. It was a struggle, but it was a dream and worth it. It's all about choices.

And btw, I am not only a business owner and a pilot, I'm also a wife!

cj