Nice Radio calls....

[KlingonLRDRVR]

freq. talk

Two weeks ago I was over Lake Michigan at night and hear Northwest XXX request a ride report. Center asks United XXX hows the ride at 350 which he replies " I don't want to tell you because it may ruin it". Center then calls me and asks Bankair 474 hows the ride at 330 which I reply "I'm not telling either". Center then told Northwest than United reported 350 smooth and Bankair 330 smooth. Northwest replied, "Thank you Chicago Center and thanks alot girls!"

It sure is fun flyin nights.

KlingonLRDRVR

 

[LR25]

All you guys that fly into MIA abunch.

Have you heard mechanical man, he is a Miami Approach controller.

Sound like an ATIS. I laugh the entire time we are on his freq.

When someone misses a call he will slip up sometimes and repeat it in a normal voice.

 

[ksu_aviator]

A friend of mine sent a student pilot on his first solo cross-country. When the student got back he told us how one of the FBO's offered a free trade on his airplane. We found that hard to believe, then he told us how the conversation went....

Student: "XYZ traffic, Cessna 123 short final 18 touch and go XYZ"

FBO: "Cessna 123, make this a full stop and we'll give you a free Aero Trader"

Student: "No thanks I'll keep the one I've got"

 

[brew3departure]

Couldn't resist

After reading all of this, I should share one that I heard when I was flying in Central FL:

Instructor and I were flying from Orlando Exec. into Daytona Beach, near the lunch hour...

Daytona Tower: "Cessna xxx, follow the blue and white cessna on 3 mile final for 22"

me: "Roger, we'll follow the blue and white cessna."

(Blue and white cessna acknowledges landing clearance, in a heavily accented voice, and then does a touch and go.)

Tower: "Cessna xxxx, we had you doing a full stop landing. Say intentions."

A very excited and again, heavily accented voice comes back instantly: "INTENTIONS!"

My instructor was rolling - I really didn't get it until much later.

Still makes me laugh!

-brew3

 

[avbug]

I was flying with a new captain, overheading Billings, once. I had a chart in my hand. We were on the box flying, with me tuning in stations as we went out of sheer boredom (and habit). As we approached Billings, he asked,

"Does Billings have a whorehouse?"

I thought about it and told him I had been based there for a couple of seasons, and wasn't aware of any. No, I didn't think so.

"But it must. Look again."

Look at what? It's not like there's a listing for that in the airplane. Did you say Whorehouse?

"Omnirange. A V-O-R. The tall pointy house looking thing. A VORhouse."

"Oh. Yes, it does. Sorry..."

Didn't go out on the radio, but it's the only goofy remotely-related story I've got.

 

[hyper]

First check in with approach if the atis is juliet, I'll give 'em "XXX approach, XXX 5,000ft., I have juliet.........and I think she likes it"
Usually gets a chuckle.

I almost got fired years ago working for a satellite company. I was out in the field working in Alice, TX. when I called one of our work order operators to get an update and told her "I'm in Alice............and I think she likes it." She got jacked and reported me. Ever since then, I've tried to put that spin on when the opportunity presents itself.

 

[HvyjetFO]

Funny stuff

I heard about this one but can not verify it. It most like ly is not true, but it sounds funny anyway. A Delta MD-11 inbound to DFW is told to slow to 210 knots while still a good distance from the field. The Captain is doing the radio work and acknowledges.
A minute goes by and then -

DFW APP: Delta XXX reduce speed to 180.

DAL: (reluctantly) Uh, roger, 180 knots.

A minute later...

DFW APP: Delta XXX reduce speed now to 150.

DAL: Sir, do you know what the stalling speed of this aircraft is?

DFW APP: Uh, no sir, but if you ask your First Officer I'm sure
he'll tell you!

 

[328dude]

LOL

 

[navigator72]

my story

I was flying into PWM (Portland, ME) in a C150 and was told by the controllers to slow down, I was overtaking a C182 on a 5 mile final. I guess you don't hear that everyday.

 

[Bluestreak]

AA 1423 :"Ah,center,American 1423,do you have any ride reports ?"

CTR:"Standby....United 470 heavy,how's your ride at three-three-oh ?"

UAL470:"Well...My captain is eating and he's stabbed his self with his fork three times".

CTR:"Northwest 880,how's your ride at two-nine-oh ?"

NWA880:"I dunno....we haven't ate yet...".