Nice Radio calls....

[ipilot]

We were having a discussion today about things we say on the radio and how funny the things come out sometimes. i'm sure u all must have heard or said something funny. why don't u share with us. for start this is one i heard...

Waiting for take off in chicago someone said on the radio,
i'm f****** bored.
ground controler came and said, who was that?
silence for a minute and then the voice came,
i'm f****** bored but i'm not f****** stupid.

 

[Hugh Jorgan]

C'mon, you expect us to believe that urban legend radio exchange was you? Funny thing is, my dad told me that one about 15 years ago. I Think we've all had a few chucklers out there, though. My favorite in recent times was this: My squadron's cross-country call sign is "Ball xx". So I'm flying formation over Colorado and check my wingman in on frequency...

me: "Ball Check"
my wingman: "two"

The Controller asks if we are a flight of Two T-37's. My reply:
"That's affirmative....two Balls"

Hardly the first time anyone's had fun with those callsigns, but it always sounds funny.

 

[ipilot]

it wasn't me off course, i just said that i heard that.. and thats one of the good one's even though its old as u said.

 

[DorkProp]

I heard a funny one a few years ago late at night on approach to Tulsa:

Approach: American *** fly heading 220

American: Was that two-twenty?

Approach: Two-twenty, two-twenty-one, whatever it takes.


See, it's funny if you've seen the movie "Mr. Mom," where Michael Keaton's character is doing some remodeling and trying to show off to his wife's boss. The boss says, "So, are you doing everything 220?" (meaning 220 volts, as opposed to 110). Keaton, not knowing what the heck he is doing, just wanting to look manly says, "two-twenty, two-twenty-one, whatever it takes."

Okay, it was funny at the time.

 

[aero99]

Hey Dorkprop, thats my phrase.....for some reason anytime someone asks me about a number I always pull the Mr. Mom routine.

Of course, no one gets my humor and I usually get strange looks.

 

[Saabslime]

Flying over northern Minnesota one day the controller comes on to tell us that the Beaver MOA is hot and gave us a vector to get around it. I was in tears laughing when my FO responded "Roger, were heading xxx for the hot beaver."

 

[NEDude]

About ten years ago, late one night (dead frequency), I heard a pilot sell a controller a car on Jax approach.

 

[Broke in CVG]

There is the one about a British Airways pilot and the smarta$$ ground controller in Frankfort, Germany. The BA pilot said he was unfamiliar. The ground controller in a snide tone said, "SpeedBird 14 haven't you ever been to Frankfort before?" To which the BA pilot responded, "Yea in 1943, but I didn't bother to stop."

 

[AWACoff]

I'm sure many of the guys who have been around a while know Rodger at Chicago Center. This one is for all the Lakers and Ex-Lakers.

Rodger: "...and as always, go E-Hawks"

He sent us an Xmas card every year too.

 

[naviator]

Me and one of my students were flying to Key West around 7 am one morning and it was really quiet on Miami Center frequency.
Then a captain came on and gave us the whole "Ladies and gentleman, this is you captain speaking.......". He went on and on and when he finally stopped the controller, and other pilots, thanked him for the lovely morning briefing. Pretty funny.

 

[KlingonLRDRVR]

freq. talk

Two weeks ago I was over Lake Michigan at night and hear Northwest XXX request a ride report. Center asks United XXX hows the ride at 350 which he replies " I don't want to tell you because it may ruin it". Center then calls me and asks Bankair 474 hows the ride at 330 which I reply "I'm not telling either". Center then told Northwest than United reported 350 smooth and Bankair 330 smooth. Northwest replied, "Thank you Chicago Center and thanks alot girls!"

It sure is fun flyin nights.

KlingonLRDRVR

 

[LR25]

All you guys that fly into MIA abunch.

Have you heard mechanical man, he is a Miami Approach controller.

Sound like an ATIS. I laugh the entire time we are on his freq.

When someone misses a call he will slip up sometimes and repeat it in a normal voice.

 

[ksu_aviator]

A friend of mine sent a student pilot on his first solo cross-country. When the student got back he told us how one of the FBO's offered a free trade on his airplane. We found that hard to believe, then he told us how the conversation went....

Student: "XYZ traffic, Cessna 123 short final 18 touch and go XYZ"

FBO: "Cessna 123, make this a full stop and we'll give you a free Aero Trader"

Student: "No thanks I'll keep the one I've got"

 

[brew3departure]

Couldn't resist

After reading all of this, I should share one that I heard when I was flying in Central FL:

Instructor and I were flying from Orlando Exec. into Daytona Beach, near the lunch hour...

Daytona Tower: "Cessna xxx, follow the blue and white cessna on 3 mile final for 22"

me: "Roger, we'll follow the blue and white cessna."

(Blue and white cessna acknowledges landing clearance, in a heavily accented voice, and then does a touch and go.)

Tower: "Cessna xxxx, we had you doing a full stop landing. Say intentions."

A very excited and again, heavily accented voice comes back instantly: "INTENTIONS!"

My instructor was rolling - I really didn't get it until much later.

Still makes me laugh!

-brew3

 

[avbug]

I was flying with a new captain, overheading Billings, once. I had a chart in my hand. We were on the box flying, with me tuning in stations as we went out of sheer boredom (and habit). As we approached Billings, he asked,

"Does Billings have a whorehouse?"

I thought about it and told him I had been based there for a couple of seasons, and wasn't aware of any. No, I didn't think so.

"But it must. Look again."

Look at what? It's not like there's a listing for that in the airplane. Did you say Whorehouse?

"Omnirange. A V-O-R. The tall pointy house looking thing. A VORhouse."

"Oh. Yes, it does. Sorry..."

Didn't go out on the radio, but it's the only goofy remotely-related story I've got.

 

[hyper]

First check in with approach if the atis is juliet, I'll give 'em "XXX approach, XXX 5,000ft., I have juliet.........and I think she likes it"
Usually gets a chuckle.

I almost got fired years ago working for a satellite company. I was out in the field working in Alice, TX. when I called one of our work order operators to get an update and told her "I'm in Alice............and I think she likes it." She got jacked and reported me. Ever since then, I've tried to put that spin on when the opportunity presents itself.

 

[HvyjetFO]

Funny stuff

I heard about this one but can not verify it. It most like ly is not true, but it sounds funny anyway. A Delta MD-11 inbound to DFW is told to slow to 210 knots while still a good distance from the field. The Captain is doing the radio work and acknowledges.
A minute goes by and then -

DFW APP: Delta XXX reduce speed to 180.

DAL: (reluctantly) Uh, roger, 180 knots.

A minute later...

DFW APP: Delta XXX reduce speed now to 150.

DAL: Sir, do you know what the stalling speed of this aircraft is?

DFW APP: Uh, no sir, but if you ask your First Officer I'm sure
he'll tell you!

 

[328dude]

LOL

 

[navigator72]

my story

I was flying into PWM (Portland, ME) in a C150 and was told by the controllers to slow down, I was overtaking a C182 on a 5 mile final. I guess you don't hear that everyday.

 

[Bluestreak]

AA 1423 :"Ah,center,American 1423,do you have any ride reports ?"

CTR:"Standby....United 470 heavy,how's your ride at three-three-oh ?"

UAL470:"Well...My captain is eating and he's stabbed his self with his fork three times".

CTR:"Northwest 880,how's your ride at two-nine-oh ?"

NWA880:"I dunno....we haven't ate yet...".