Moronic Passenger Stories

[Bluestreak]

Waiting for the train in PIT,some woman starts squawking "WHY ARE THE "E" GATES CLOSED ? ! HOW CAN I GET TO MY FLIGHT ?"

"Ah,ma'am,the "E" gates have been closed for a couple of months."

"BUT I HAVE AN "E" TICKET !!!"

Also overheard at the dear,old "E" gates:

Pax:"How do I get to the "A" concourse ?"

Unknown crew:"Get on the train and get off at the third stop."

 

[shamrock]

Pushed back in the 1900 and started #2.. Someone bangs on the cockpit door and I have to FO open it up. Lady standing there says that we shouldn't take off because the other engine wasn't running.

Had the same thing happen to me in the 22R money line at BOS during IOE. I thought it was funny, but the Captain was ticked. Guess it wasn't the first time he heard it.

Landing 4L in BOS, we we got a "Caution, Wake Turbulence" warning from tower for a departing 757 off 9. I flew a little high and landed long, no problem in a 1900 on a 8000'+ runway, and all we get is a little bump from the 757. After taxiing to the gate I get a lecture from a Private Pilot in back informing me that I was high on the VASI (the cockpit door was open) and I should pay more attention to how I fly. He told me his instructor would never let him get away with that! I thanked him for his advice and wished him a great day.

 

[OPECJet]

Sitting in the back of the Dash going to work, the crew pulled #1 into start/feather for the long taxi. The lady sitting behind me started asking everyone around her what was going on with that engine, presumably trying to get me to turn around and tell her what the deal was. (Wearing the uniform in the back syndrome...).

She finally taps me on the shoulder and asks what's up. I casually looked out the window and said I'd never seen it do that before. The flight attendant was laughing so hard it gave it away within seconds. My reward for the cruel behavior was being flicked on the ear...

 

[FL000]

I was deadheading in uniform once, and the takeoff was aborted at a relatively high speed. One guy turned to me and asked, "is this normal?"

I replied, "well, that was MY first aborted takeoff...how did I do?"

 

[AV1ATRX]

In my short time at the airline, I've already had the F/A call up front enroute to tell us that a passenger insists that he call and tell us that there is a crack in the wing and that we should land immediately. He tried to assure him that we had preflighted the airplane and it was okay, but the passenger couldn't be convinced. I felt sorry for the Flight Attendant, but also for the passenger because it must suck to be so afraid to fly that you're just sitting there waiting for a wing to fall off...

 

[FlyChicaga]

Had a guy get on board one time, and literally YELL out "I'm a certified instrument pilot, and was just curious what runway we'd be taking off from today?" We give him his answer, a little perplexed, and he yells out again, "And what runway will we be landing on?" Answer again. It was as if he had earplugs in... I think he scared half the passengers.

 

[Humty72]

I heard one about a passenger (who was apparently a private pilot) write the company a letter about how the pilots were unsafe and not doing their job. The person thought this because they were just on a J-32 flight where the crew did not do a mag check before takeoff. Apparently that passenger had flown on the 32 before, however it was an early morning flight when a TTL test is part of the first flight checks.

 

[chperplt]

I was running late for my show one morning and had to skip the AM turd. Just after take off in the 1900 I let out the most nasty rotten egg and sh!t smelling fart that completely filled the cabin in a matter of seconds.

Between laughing my ass off and watching the captain turn green, we had someone come up front to tell us that something was burning in the back and smelt real bad. He suggested that we turn around and go back.

After we asked him to return to his seat, we closed the cockpit door and put ourselves on O2. We bumped the cabin all the way up and the smell finally cleared.

I guess this would fall under stupid pilot stories.

 

[Wasted]

In my short time at the airline, I've already had the F/A call up front enroute to tell us that a passenger insists that he call and tell us that there is a crack in the wing and that we should land immediately. He tried to assure him that we had preflighted the airplane and it was okay, but the passenger couldn't be convinced. I felt sorry for the Flight Attendant, but also for the passenger because it must suck to be so afraid to fly that you're just sitting there waiting for a wing to fall off...

Imagine how the passenger felt who saw the hairy guy on the wing trying to rip into the wing that one night in the twilight zone.

 

[Wasted]

Had a nice old lady write a letter of complaint about how the pilots had run out of gas when after landing, one of the engines on the ATR she was on was shut down during the taxi in.

 

[73belair]

Had a nice old lady write a letter of complaint about how the pilots had run out of gas when after landing, one of the engines on the ATR she was on was shut down during the taxi in.

Good thing they can't see when the rj "runs out of gas" and and engine shuts down! Or when we don't have enough gas to start the other one for takeoff!

 

[Wasted]

Good thing they can't see when the rj "runs out of gas" and and engine shuts down! Or when we don't have enough gas to start the other one for takeoff!

I had a pax bug the FA about something being wrong with the right side engine while we were taxiing out. He said it looked like it wasn't spinning like it should. I told her to tell him it was because we hadn't started it yet. They look back there, these passengers.

 

[Doubleo6point9]

Not a story of mine but..

Not a story of mines but one of my college professors used to fly Dash 8's for Horizon some odd number of years ago. One day they had a pax come up to them and declare "i'm a private pilot and I have my instrument rating..If you have any problems and need any help just let me know." The captain then asked him if he had his multi rating and when the pax responded with a "no" he said "Well ok then. I guess if we lose one of our engines you'll be the first one we call!"

 

[OPECJet]

Flew a load of passengers through continous moderate turbulence the other day. There was no way to get around it.

After landing, most of the passengers were staring at us like we were the Anti-Christ, except for one kid who yelled out "THAT WAS AWESOME!" The dirty looks then went from us to him.

 

[MadDogPilot]

.

I have a quite a few similar stories, but wanted to share one with a little different theme....

I was standing in a jetway, waiting to jumpseat on a Southwest flight. I knew the agent, so I was down there early. The passengers were still deplaning. The last guy gets off, an older man in his 70's, and he says, "There's fuel coming out of the top of your wing." Well, we all looked at each other, and though maybe he saw moisture, or the fuel truck, or something else. The agent thanked him and he left.

No one took him seriously (they were doing a crew change). I said, "how strange, what did he see that made him think fuel was coming out of the TOP of the wing?" The agent shrugged her shoulders.

The new crew showed up a few minutes later, and I happened to mention our little old man to the new Captain. He called the mechanic. He then found fuel POURING out of the TOP of the wing! The plane was grounded.

I always wonder what might have heppened if I hadn't said anything, and the captain hadn't decided to find out what the man really meant. Or if there hadn't been a crew change. (I am sure the preflight walk around would have found this, but you never know.)

So, sometimes, weird things that regular folk observe might have a base of truth! We just need to undertsand what they mean....