AdlerDriver
Can't even hold reserve!
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2005
- Posts
- 442
AP Top News at 1110 a.m. EDT
By Associated Press
October 27, 2005, 1110 AM EDT
NBA BASKETBALL COURT SWEAT WIPER UPPERS ON THE OFFENSIVE
SPRINGFIELD, MA (AP) – Amid furor over an Anheuser-Busch radio ad poking fun at Discount Airline Pilots, a new set of voices has joined the shrill protests across the country. Those nameless, dedicated and tireless men and women we see wiping sweat from NBA courts during lulls in the action have launched an angry protest this morning. At a press conference called by Teamsters local 74 representatives in Boston, union leaders were highly critical of the radio spots. “The trivialization of a job which has this level of responsibility associated with it is simply irresponsible”, said Steve “Lefty” McClanahan, a long time Wiper Upper for the Boston Celtics. “I’ve been at this a long time and remember what the sport was like before we were a part of it. Guys won’t talk about the 1954 season when Bill Russell busted his ass weekly on a puddle of Bob Cousy’s sweat but it happened.” Then Head Coach Red Auerbach had to bench Cousy on more than one occasion because of the effect he was having on the team’s fast break. “Today’s NBA owes a lot to our profession and I would hope we’ll see the league give a measured but decisive response to this slap in the face on the part of Anheuser-Busch”, said union leader Patrick McPatrick. “Pat-Pat”, as he’s known to his close friends, responded to questions about his thoughts on just what an appropriate response should be. “Well, I’d hope we wouldn’t see a single Budweiser in the stands for the next game. I’m a Sam Adams fan myself. That stuff is wicked good.” Boston hosts the Lakers this Saturday in the Fleet Center. When asked if he thought this was a realistic expectation of NBA officials, McPatrick responded, “I hope so. They know they need to play ball with us, so to speak. Unless they want to see Shaq eating hardwood on Saturday, they’ll back us up. We don’t want to go there, but we will if we have to.”
Anheuser-Busch representatives were eager to head off further problems created by their ads. “We really thought we had a winner here. It was not our intention to alienate and offend. The ads are supposed to be funny. Honestly, we didn’t think we had such a large number of whiney, thin-skinned people on the other end of our radio spots.” Spokesman Eaton Fuhr spoke candidly following the press conference. “When we heard from the Jelly Donut Fillers last week I began to get concerned. My brother-in-law is a Pit Crew Water Bottle Squirter for Jeff Gordon and he was practically in tears at our family dinner yesterday. We’ve heard the Major Highway Line Painters are getting ready to march on our plant in St. Louis, but that’s an unsubstantiated rumor at this point.” When told about reports that some Southwest pilots were “livid” after hearing the ad, Fuhr responded, “They’re a bunch of pussies. Sounds like they need a drink.”
Israel Troops Arrest Islamic Jihad Leader
JENIN, West Bank (AP) -- Israeli troops entered this West Bank town Thursday and witnesses said they arrested a local leader of Islamic Jihad, pushing forward with an offensive against the Palestinian militant group following a suicide bombing that killed five Israelis. About 35 jeeps, backed by Apache helicopters, entered Jenin in the afternoon, and troops surrounded the home of Abdel Khalim Izzadin. After a brief standoff, Izzadin and three other men surrendered to troops, witnesses said.
By Associated Press
October 27, 2005, 1110 AM EDT
NBA BASKETBALL COURT SWEAT WIPER UPPERS ON THE OFFENSIVE
SPRINGFIELD, MA (AP) – Amid furor over an Anheuser-Busch radio ad poking fun at Discount Airline Pilots, a new set of voices has joined the shrill protests across the country. Those nameless, dedicated and tireless men and women we see wiping sweat from NBA courts during lulls in the action have launched an angry protest this morning. At a press conference called by Teamsters local 74 representatives in Boston, union leaders were highly critical of the radio spots. “The trivialization of a job which has this level of responsibility associated with it is simply irresponsible”, said Steve “Lefty” McClanahan, a long time Wiper Upper for the Boston Celtics. “I’ve been at this a long time and remember what the sport was like before we were a part of it. Guys won’t talk about the 1954 season when Bill Russell busted his ass weekly on a puddle of Bob Cousy’s sweat but it happened.” Then Head Coach Red Auerbach had to bench Cousy on more than one occasion because of the effect he was having on the team’s fast break. “Today’s NBA owes a lot to our profession and I would hope we’ll see the league give a measured but decisive response to this slap in the face on the part of Anheuser-Busch”, said union leader Patrick McPatrick. “Pat-Pat”, as he’s known to his close friends, responded to questions about his thoughts on just what an appropriate response should be. “Well, I’d hope we wouldn’t see a single Budweiser in the stands for the next game. I’m a Sam Adams fan myself. That stuff is wicked good.” Boston hosts the Lakers this Saturday in the Fleet Center. When asked if he thought this was a realistic expectation of NBA officials, McPatrick responded, “I hope so. They know they need to play ball with us, so to speak. Unless they want to see Shaq eating hardwood on Saturday, they’ll back us up. We don’t want to go there, but we will if we have to.”
Anheuser-Busch representatives were eager to head off further problems created by their ads. “We really thought we had a winner here. It was not our intention to alienate and offend. The ads are supposed to be funny. Honestly, we didn’t think we had such a large number of whiney, thin-skinned people on the other end of our radio spots.” Spokesman Eaton Fuhr spoke candidly following the press conference. “When we heard from the Jelly Donut Fillers last week I began to get concerned. My brother-in-law is a Pit Crew Water Bottle Squirter for Jeff Gordon and he was practically in tears at our family dinner yesterday. We’ve heard the Major Highway Line Painters are getting ready to march on our plant in St. Louis, but that’s an unsubstantiated rumor at this point.” When told about reports that some Southwest pilots were “livid” after hearing the ad, Fuhr responded, “They’re a bunch of pussies. Sounds like they need a drink.”
Israel Troops Arrest Islamic Jihad Leader
JENIN, West Bank (AP) -- Israeli troops entered this West Bank town Thursday and witnesses said they arrested a local leader of Islamic Jihad, pushing forward with an offensive against the Palestinian militant group following a suicide bombing that killed five Israelis. About 35 jeeps, backed by Apache helicopters, entered Jenin in the afternoon, and troops surrounded the home of Abdel Khalim Izzadin. After a brief standoff, Izzadin and three other men surrendered to troops, witnesses said.
Can you stop by and pick me up a number 2?
