Married and Commuting

[Capt. Caucasian]

I personally love commuting. Actually, I love where I live and hate where I am based. I commute from BHM to IAH and have not noticed a decline in quality of life since moving from Houston two years ago.

My wife and I lived in IAH for over three years and even owned a house. After a while we just could not stand the place anymore. We were far from family and friends plus Texans don't know how to make proper BBQ. Also, having to watch Auburn games on pay-per-view wasn't much fun either. Now that we are back in Alabama soon to move to Georgia we are much happier and our marriage is actually better.

I say, live where you want to live and a job is just a job.

 

[lowlycfi]

I've commuted for over 10 years and have been married for all of them. Never has caused a problem. Having a trusting, understanding wife with her own career helps. No kids yet, so I can't comment on that. I think your relationship will determine how commuting goes for you. Commuting is as hard and stressful as you make it. I try to do neither.

 

[ex j-41]

Well you all have seen my original post about MCO commuting......I just had 2 wonderful job opportunties which required extensive commuting, my wife has a very good Job here and is not about to leave...she was very supportive, I have done it before......It does make the heart grow fonder in many cases, in some it hurts the marrage badly...

I have spent the past week measuring and writing down all the pro's and con's of these jobs, the costs of crashpads, etc....The bottom line is one thing, Quality of your own Life and the lives of those that love you and depend on you for many intangable things everyday!.....

Once I boiled it all down, the bottom of the pot had my family and wife as the source of my quality of life, I work to live not live to work....I do love aviation, but I firmly believe its a young single persons job to hold...but at some point you wil get married and the kids, and you will want to be there for them, and for YOU...

Commuting is not ever an exact science, never will be and it got much worse for dispach folks like myself after 9-11.....no more flt deck rides like the good ol' days....nope...now It fighting airline employees, their families, tons of stand-by PAX, Seniority if it applies, and the the first come first served BS when the gare agents play the favorites.....Impossible, I just started buying real tickets but that will burn up any $$$ you just earned real fast...so what is the point....

I am over it, I have officially resigned from the airline field if it means commuting, I will seek what ever I can find locally in the field, or do something else....Family and God first folks, keep the priorities in focus, it is sure easy to loose sight.....good luck in the pursuit of happiness..

Ditto

I just turned down working at PSA.
One of the reasons was the commute. Other was the pay. More importantly
was that 9 days in my own bed a month is not enough. All these things
added up didn't make sense. I would love to fly for PSA, but as what was
said earlier. Live to Live not to work. What are your priorities in life?
My are easy:
1) My health
2) My Wife
3) My Career.

And no changing the order.

 

[Hugh Jorgan]

Anyone with positive unsarcastic experiences?

I had an exceptionally positive experience with a woman who's husband commuted.

 

[Hugh Jorgan]

http://www.bustedtees.com/product.php?name=bigmistake

 

[BoeingBaller]

Bring home 1900 a month first year with perdium (if your lucky).spend $300 on a crash pad another $500 a month in food at least 22 days on the road with 8 whole days at home.By the time you get back and forth with your 4 day trips starting at 6am and ending at 10 pm.Just think if you live in base you can be home for 10 mabey 12 days a month..YEAH!!!!!!Spend your life in some hotel in BFE 2200 miles from home.Good Luck have fun glad I'm done!!!!!

 

[Q400 Gear Bitch]

Like the previous posters all said. It all depends.

I used to commute from STL to SEA. I was home on average 26 hours a week.(about a day and some change). I changed jobs and now I still commute (I didnt when I changed....go figure) but I have a very easy commute.(SEA-PDX) Our company has a commuter policy which helps (I've never had to use it) and there is a flight every 1/2 hour(give or take) Even though it is an easy commute it still affects my quality of life. I have to leave the house 4 hours b4 my showtime. (If I lived where I workd it'd b 1/2 hour). So my advice, if you can avoid it.....DO IT. I'd gladly move to PDX, but my wife has a great job here, so for right now we're staying. Hope that helps.

 

[fletch717]

I have been a commuter for years, It has'nt affected my marriage one bit. If you want a 9to5 job where you are home every night, then don't get in this business. I have 14 to 16 days off a month as a junior captain, I commute 1 leg to ATL. Sometimes I have to go the night before. Commuting does'nt cause divorce, some women can't handle their husbands being gone every week for 3 and 4 days. That's the nature of the beast. I once told my wife that if she gave me the choice to give up avaition or she would leave, I would quit flying but we would eventually split up because I would resent her forever for taking that which I love away.

 

[BlackPilot628]

No problems with my commuting and wife life.
She knew the deal before we got married and we discussed it as well.
We dated all through college so we had plenty of time to discuss flying and commuting. My commute was a piece of cake when I was flying for Corpex and it should be fairly easy with CHQ. I'm in a little better position than some other people because I live in A major hub City. (CLT)
Just remember to talk it out with you spouse and come to some type of agreement; it should work out just fine.

 

[upndsky]

I'll add my name to the list of married pilots who hapilly commutes. I'm also lucky because my wife understands the nature of this business and sometimes looks forward to me hitting the road for a few days (that way she doesn't have to pick my underwear up off the floor all the time). She has a career and on most of the weekdays is involved in other activities (ie, Yoga, etc) after work. We love where we live and have friends and family nearby.

It also helps that we live near a big airport that has plenty of flights to my base, which is only an hour's flight away. I'm able to get about 15 days off per month and am fairly succesful in bidding or trading for trips that are commutable. I also manage to get at least one overnight a month at home.

The alternative is for us to move to EWR, CLE or IAH, where we don't know anyone, have no family support structure and couldn't afford to live there (IAH not withstanding). I also don't want to pack up and move to a city only to have my airline switch mainline partners and end up being at another base.

Now, if any of the above circumstances were different, or if I was flexible as to where I wanted to live, than I would probably consider moving to my base. But only you and your wife can decide that.

I will also say that if your wife hates you commuting because you're gone all the time, she's probably going to hate you being an airline pilot, and that's what causes marriages to fail, not the commuting part. Good luck with your decision.

 

[ifly4food]

You won't have to worry about it... commute and you won't be married too much longer.

 

[J32driver]

My wife is extremely understanding. We have been happily married for 10 years... 5 of that I've been commuting. All was well for the 1st 3 years.... after that it has started to wear on us both. You will start to recognize time at home that is slipping through your fingers never to be returned. That alone will double the amount of stress you feel.

DON'T commute unless there is no other choice!

 

[StaySeated]

If you think commutting sucks your wrong. Commutting really, really, really sucks. I commute and have over 25 flights a day to choose from with a really good commuting clause and it still sucks. The commuter clause takes away the stress, but nothing can take away the pain in the arse. If your commute is going to be more than 2 hours one way or more than one leg each way than just shoot yourself now and save yourself the misery. On the brighside, if you commute you will be working your way up the ladder towards upgrade, a major airline job, financial security, and a huge pension....wait a second

 

[EMB170Pilot]

Me, Do I like commuting, NO! but it has not been difficult at all. Being new to this "airline world" and how I survived my first Christmas flying experience. JESUS THAT WAS A MESSED UP DECEMBER MONTH!!!! But during that month, No problems getting to/from work. Did not get bumped from any flights

Before I took the job at CHQ, I was living in Ft. Lauderdale. Wife and I made an agreement that if I was going to take the job, we move to Atlanta where she could get her old job back and accelerate her career and my commute would only be 1 leg. SMART MOVE!!! I do not have to worry about ASA/ComAir when going from ATL-IND (or vice versa). Now that Airtran has opened up daily flights from ATL-IND that makes it even more easier to get to/from work.

I say research where you are based easiest ways to get to/from work. What I did and commuting is a breeze. I think whats made it so easy for me is that I am based in IND and it is not a hard place to commute to. Yes, commuting is annoying but so far I have not had any problems whatsoever! THANK GOD!

Good Luck!

 

[fr8dogfo]

Anyone married and commute like to shart their thoughts? good or bad

I am quitting my airline job and going corporate because of commuting and the fact I am not willing to live in Ohio for a few bucks. I have had a 2 legger for over 6 years and can't take anymore. Like someone else mentioned, if your wife knows what she is getting into, give it a try but unless its an easy one it will get old real quick. If your company is CASS and you commute on another CASS airline that may help some.

GOOD LUCK,

FD

 

[fr8dogfo]

Texans don't know how to make proper BBQ.

Now thems is fighting words mister. I guess proper for you SE'ners is pork and sweeeettt tea.

Brisket and Beans and 1/2 link of Sausage. Now thats some good eat'n.

FD

 

[jobear]

Nah, BBQ pork steaks with deer suasage smothered in Miller's BBq sauce

Jobear

 

[LAXSaabdude]

I have been based in LAX for some time, and lived in Orange County for about 2 years. From my perspective the drive in LA traffic was at least as stressful as an airplane commute. At least on the flight, I can sleep while someone else drives.

At my company, LAX is about the only base I could really see myself living in. It is also one of the smallest, most senior, and most neglected by my company, thus it is the least secure, has least quality schedules, and a pilot is most at risk for displacement here. Thus making a commitment to live here very tenuous.

DFW is our biggest base, and my company's unholy loyalty to it ensures that it is the most secure of all bases. I.e. one could probably be based there forever if one wanted to. From my perspective, though, if I had to live there, the misery of it would unravel my marriage faster than any commute ever would.

LAXSaabdude.

 

[Mr. Bean]

I used to be a SAW based 1900 FO, bringing home about $18K/yr, and living in the old non-com housing (ie affordable). I loved it and (no kidding) would never have left. Fly the AM schedule and be home by 1pm, or the PM and be home around 12am, 13 days or so off a month (and that's even with me being way-junior). It was GREAT! Company, in it's infinite wisdom, closes outstations. I become a commuter, and by the time I was the #3 FO I had 8 days off a month, got home for 6, and wife says, "You're a stranger." "Whatever," I says. Until one day I get home and it's like being in someone else's house. "Oof, Wife's right," I think. So... take leave of absence, get job as mechanic at AE's SAW base, 9/11, unget job, move to OK and get job as jet pilot. Commuting might work for some, it doesn't seem to for most. And for sure it will put stress on you and your relationships. My wife didn't dig being a single mom, and if Momma's not happy... . And really, flying's great, but what good is it if it's all you have?
If you don't have to, don't.

 

[Ron Mexico]

I personally love commuting. Actually, I love where I live and hate where I am based. I commute from BHM to IAH and have not noticed a decline in quality of life since moving from Houston two years ago.

My wife and I lived in IAH for over three years and even owned a house. After a while we just could not stand the place anymore. We were far from family and friends plus Texans don't know how to make proper BBQ. Also, having to watch Auburn games on pay-per-view wasn't much fun either. Now that we are back in Alabama soon to move to Georgia we are much happier and our marriage is actually better.

I say, live where you want to live and a job is just a job.

Just a few great words buddy...."Roll Tide!!!" lol

 

[Ron Mexico]

Now thems is fighting words mister. I guess proper for you SE'ners is pork and sweeeettt tea.

Brisket and Beans and 1/2 link of Sausage. Now thats some good eat'n.

FD

I have to agree here!!!!

 

[πυρκαγιά]

Hey Mr. Bean!!!

I didn't know you could talk so much....

Sounds like your wife ain't up to the part....