Married and Commuting

[Capt. Caucasian]

I personally love commuting. Actually, I love where I live and hate where I am based. I commute from BHM to IAH and have not noticed a decline in quality of life since moving from Houston two years ago.

My wife and I lived in IAH for over three years and even owned a house. After a while we just could not stand the place anymore. We were far from family and friends plus Texans don't know how to make proper BBQ. Also, having to watch Auburn games on pay-per-view wasn't much fun either. Now that we are back in Alabama soon to move to Georgia we are much happier and our marriage is actually better.

I say, live where you want to live and a job is just a job.

 

[lowlycfi]

I've commuted for over 10 years and have been married for all of them. Never has caused a problem. Having a trusting, understanding wife with her own career helps. No kids yet, so I can't comment on that. I think your relationship will determine how commuting goes for you. Commuting is as hard and stressful as you make it. I try to do neither.

 

[ex j-41]

Well you all have seen my original post about MCO commuting......I just had 2 wonderful job opportunties which required extensive commuting, my wife has a very good Job here and is not about to leave...she was very supportive, I have done it before......It does make the heart grow fonder in many cases, in some it hurts the marrage badly...

I have spent the past week measuring and writing down all the pro's and con's of these jobs, the costs of crashpads, etc....The bottom line is one thing, Quality of your own Life and the lives of those that love you and depend on you for many intangable things everyday!.....

Once I boiled it all down, the bottom of the pot had my family and wife as the source of my quality of life, I work to live not live to work....I do love aviation, but I firmly believe its a young single persons job to hold...but at some point you wil get married and the kids, and you will want to be there for them, and for YOU...

Commuting is not ever an exact science, never will be and it got much worse for dispach folks like myself after 9-11.....no more flt deck rides like the good ol' days....nope...now It fighting airline employees, their families, tons of stand-by PAX, Seniority if it applies, and the the first come first served BS when the gare agents play the favorites.....Impossible, I just started buying real tickets but that will burn up any $$$ you just earned real fast...so what is the point....

I am over it, I have officially resigned from the airline field if it means commuting, I will seek what ever I can find locally in the field, or do something else....Family and God first folks, keep the priorities in focus, it is sure easy to loose sight.....good luck in the pursuit of happiness..

Ditto

I just turned down working at PSA.
One of the reasons was the commute. Other was the pay. More importantly
was that 9 days in my own bed a month is not enough. All these things
added up didn't make sense. I would love to fly for PSA, but as what was
said earlier. Live to Live not to work. What are your priorities in life?
My are easy:
1) My health
2) My Wife
3) My Career.

And no changing the order.

 

[Hugh Jorgan]

Anyone with positive unsarcastic experiences?

I had an exceptionally positive experience with a woman who's husband commuted.

 

[Hugh Jorgan]

http://www.bustedtees.com/product.php?name=bigmistake

 

[BoeingBaller]

Bring home 1900 a month first year with perdium (if your lucky).spend $300 on a crash pad another $500 a month in food at least 22 days on the road with 8 whole days at home.By the time you get back and forth with your 4 day trips starting at 6am and ending at 10 pm.Just think if you live in base you can be home for 10 mabey 12 days a month..YEAH!!!!!!Spend your life in some hotel in BFE 2200 miles from home.Good Luck have fun glad I'm done!!!!!

 

[Q400 Gear Bitch]

Like the previous posters all said. It all depends.

I used to commute from STL to SEA. I was home on average 26 hours a week.(about a day and some change). I changed jobs and now I still commute (I didnt when I changed....go figure) but I have a very easy commute.(SEA-PDX) Our company has a commuter policy which helps (I've never had to use it) and there is a flight every 1/2 hour(give or take) Even though it is an easy commute it still affects my quality of life. I have to leave the house 4 hours b4 my showtime. (If I lived where I workd it'd b 1/2 hour). So my advice, if you can avoid it.....DO IT. I'd gladly move to PDX, but my wife has a great job here, so for right now we're staying. Hope that helps.

 

[fletch717]

I have been a commuter for years, It has'nt affected my marriage one bit. If you want a 9to5 job where you are home every night, then don't get in this business. I have 14 to 16 days off a month as a junior captain, I commute 1 leg to ATL. Sometimes I have to go the night before. Commuting does'nt cause divorce, some women can't handle their husbands being gone every week for 3 and 4 days. That's the nature of the beast. I once told my wife that if she gave me the choice to give up avaition or she would leave, I would quit flying but we would eventually split up because I would resent her forever for taking that which I love away.

 

[BlackPilot628]

No problems with my commuting and wife life.
She knew the deal before we got married and we discussed it as well.
We dated all through college so we had plenty of time to discuss flying and commuting. My commute was a piece of cake when I was flying for Corpex and it should be fairly easy with CHQ. I'm in a little better position than some other people because I live in A major hub City. (CLT)
Just remember to talk it out with you spouse and come to some type of agreement; it should work out just fine.

 

[upndsky]

I'll add my name to the list of married pilots who hapilly commutes. I'm also lucky because my wife understands the nature of this business and sometimes looks forward to me hitting the road for a few days (that way she doesn't have to pick my underwear up off the floor all the time). She has a career and on most of the weekdays is involved in other activities (ie, Yoga, etc) after work. We love where we live and have friends and family nearby.

It also helps that we live near a big airport that has plenty of flights to my base, which is only an hour's flight away. I'm able to get about 15 days off per month and am fairly succesful in bidding or trading for trips that are commutable. I also manage to get at least one overnight a month at home.

The alternative is for us to move to EWR, CLE or IAH, where we don't know anyone, have no family support structure and couldn't afford to live there (IAH not withstanding). I also don't want to pack up and move to a city only to have my airline switch mainline partners and end up being at another base.

Now, if any of the above circumstances were different, or if I was flexible as to where I wanted to live, than I would probably consider moving to my base. But only you and your wife can decide that.

I will also say that if your wife hates you commuting because you're gone all the time, she's probably going to hate you being an airline pilot, and that's what causes marriages to fail, not the commuting part. Good luck with your decision.