LMAO! Anyone see the "Harrisburg Incident" memo to 9E F/As?

[Flyer1015]

Priceless stuff! It's a memo that actually lists what a flight attendant should say if a passenger comments/asks/jokes about the Harrisburg incident at Pinnacle. Worst part about it is that it sounds like something an automated machine would say. There's no way a person could make that statement and not look weird.

Pinnacle people probably know what I'm talking about, although this memo is to the FAs, it's spread across the crew rooms.

I'll try and type it in here once I get my hands on it again.

 

[Jmoney]

Hmmmm,.,,,,,,

Let me guess.....

"I am very sorry you are offended at the news of recent events, sir/madam...... We, here at Pinnacle strive daily to provide you with the very best in customer service and naked debauchery on a daily basis..... If it involves getting naked in a fire department vehicle and spending the next couple hours getting chased all over town by a police helicopter, hey-we're up for it, dog! If you want let General Lee out of his little box and let him run up and down the aisle in his gimp suit, we probably can hook you up there as well...... The bottom line, sir/ madam is-we are here to please...Not to judge..... Your twisted kinky fantasies can come true here, all thanks to choosing Pinnacle! Thanks again for flying our airline, and with any luck, we will soon be dodging search dogs soon through a hamlet near you!"

 

[labbats]

"Sorry your beverage service has been canceled due to my poison ivy."

 

[ASADFW7]

Now that is funny, Poison Ivy!

 

[Sam Snead]

that Captain is at this moment the most famous airline pilot in the United States.

 

[Inconceivable]

From: Ted Davies, Director, Inflight Services

To: All Flight Attendants

Re: The “Harrisburg Incident”

Date: May 22, 2008


“Pinnacle Airlines Flight Attendant” has been splashed across newspapers and television reports
since the infamous “Harrisburg Incident” happened earlier this week. It is obviously not the kind
of attention any of us was hoping to receive.

Whatever the circumstances of the incident truly turn out to be, the unfortunate mistakes of a
couple of crewmembers should not detract from the reputation you, as a professional, have earned
as a flight attendant. You work hard every flight to provide the utmost safety and comfort for our
passengers and are renowned for doing so. What happened earlier this week is in no way a
reflection on you personally or Pinnacle flight attendants as a group. You are still, and will always
be, the very best.

I have been told that some of you are getting comments from our Customers. I suspect those
comments range from humorous to obnoxious. In either case, no one employed by Pinnacle
Airlines deserves that kind of treatment. If it is not possible to simply ignore the comment and
move on, your response should be:

• None of us condone those actions. Pinnacle has a strict code of conduct and there is a
zero tolerance policy for violating it. Thank you for flying with us today and please let
us know if you need our assistance.

Each of you has been trained in handling difficult Customers. If you need help, please let your
manager, supervisor or Captain of your aircraft know as appropriate.

Take care.

 

[Inconceivable]

Or even better:


From: Ted Davies, Director, Inflight Services

To: All Flight Attendants

Re: Tampering with the Contents of Liquor Miniatures

Date: September 15, 2006


Effective immediately, when serving a bottle of liquor to a passenger, the flight attendant must
break the seal on the bottle prior to presenting the drink to the passenger. If, while doing so, the
flight attendant discovers the seal is already broken, secure that bottle and serve another having
an intact seal.

Report any bottles with broken seals to the Inflight office at any base immediately via an Inflight
Incident Report. Please be specific regarding the flight and aircraft number as well as the number
and types of liquor you have found with tampered/broken seals.

On RON trips, please ensure you properly seal the beverage cart and document the seal number
you use to do so. Prior to breaking the seal the next morning, verify the seal is the one you placed
on the cart the previous evening.

Beginning immediately, liquor kits will be randomly audited for bottles with broken seals.

I cannot emphasize enough the seriousness of this issue and the consequences that can result if a
passenger discovers he/she has ingested an unknown substance served to him/her on one of our
flights

Tampering with the contents of the drinks we serve to our customers is an extremely serious
offense that will not be tolerated. During the course of an investigation, if anyone is proved to be
involved in such behavior the result will be immediate discharge with the possibility of criminal
charges being filed.

If you have any questions or suggestions please talk to anyone in Inflight.

 

[DrewBlows]

Or even better:


From: Ted Davies, Director, Inflight Services

To: All Flight Attendants

Re: Tampering with the Contents of Liquor Miniatures

Date: September 15, 2006


Effective immediately, when serving a bottle of liquor to a passenger, the flight attendant must
break the seal on the bottle prior to presenting the drink to the passenger. If, while doing so, the
flight attendant discovers the seal is already broken, secure that bottle and serve another having
an intact seal.

Report any bottles with broken seals to the Inflight office at any base immediately via an Inflight
Incident Report. Please be specific regarding the flight and aircraft number as well as the number
and types of liquor you have found with tampered/broken seals.

On RON trips, please ensure you properly seal the beverage cart and document the seal number
you use to do so. Prior to breaking the seal the next morning, verify the seal is the one you placed
on the cart the previous evening.

Beginning immediately, liquor kits will be randomly audited for bottles with broken seals.

I cannot emphasize enough the seriousness of this issue and the consequences that can result if a
passenger discovers he/she has ingested an unknown substance served to him/her on one of our
flights

Tampering with the contents of the drinks we serve to our customers is an extremely serious
offense that will not be tolerated. During the course of an investigation, if anyone is proved to be
involved in such behavior the result will be immediate discharge with the possibility of criminal
charges being filed.

If you have any questions or suggestions please talk to anyone in Inflight.

Do I even want to know what that was about?

 

[CptMurf]

Old flight attendant trick... Refill and sell empties on flight for pure profit. Leave the company liquor kit alone.

Not saying that is what happened...just first thing that comes to mind.

 

[greyskyracer]

I was thinking it was the eye drops for **************************************** program.