Leaving Kids/Family while flying

[qmaster3]

FlyGirlFelicia,

On another thread you inquired about becoming a CFI? If you haven’t got your CFI yet, just pop a few out now. By the time you hit the majors they should be graduating college. I will ask this as nicely, with political correctness, as I am sensitive to your feelings. Since when did we start comparing retired military aviators with Branch-Davidians?
LIKE-OH-MY-GOD. YOU DIDN'T

 

[fastandlow]

Felicia -

Do your potential children a favor and hold off indefinitely or at least until you grow up a little more.

You sound just like the type-a professional women I work with who insist on satisfying their biological urge to procreate or whatever drives them to reproduce and promptly warehouse their children in day care. People who have to - fine. Those who choose to warehouse their kids - so they can drive the Lexus SUV and make the mega-mortgage payments... What a shame.

Being a mother ought to be looked at as a high honor and a very respectable job. I will never have this being a dad. But it's a close second... I get to be the nice guy!!

Really, what is all this Takes a Village cr@p from prople like Hillary Rodham and her feminazi comrads? It's weakening the fabric of US society. It only plays into the weak agenda of the libs and the women are totally equal lobby/agenda. Women are not equal, they are not the same as men. Men and women do deserve equal opportunity in most cases though. Women make better and more appropriate caretakers of young children (ever wonder why God gave you breasts?!). Women are better at repetitive tasks. Women are supposedly better are handling g-loading. Men are better at killing and other things. Get over it - it's just the way it is!!

Airline or almost any pro flying for that matter really needs a full time parent and preferably a mother at home with kids for sure until they hit 6 yrs old. And then maybe longer. What are you going to do when your child gets a virus at school, is puking their stomach out and wanting their mother but you and your man are off on 3-4 day trips! Get real! Don't have children!!!

Branch Davidians and home schoolers!!! You've lost all credability.... and what the he!! did the Davidians do to deserve the FBI killing them and their children!? Last I heard, there were quite a few American citizens in there supposedly exercising their right to free speech and freedom of religeon. What a bunch of judgemental media brainwashed garbage flying on this one.

 

[LarryinTN]

One more voice in support of a stay-at-home-parent.

We were married for twelve years before we had our first child. We waiting because I was working my way up from flight instructing to part 135 to regional to Major. My wife was a total workaholic. She worked twelve to fourteen hour days because she enjoyed it and wanted to. In less than nine years she went from a bookkeeper earning $18,000 to V.P. of Finance earning $85,000 at the time that our first child was born. We had always agreed that when we had kids she would stay home. We had both wondered how well she would adapt.

We now have two kids, about 2yr 4mo apart. My wife is still just as busy as every, if not busier, but now all of her activities revolve around the kids. She doesn't "stay home", they go. They have activities, clubs, sports, meetings, etc. almost every day. She hosts themed parties at our house for the kids friends almost every month. She's now preparing to homeschool our oldest next Fall for kindergarten. To give the kids more time with other kids they are both in "school" which is a mom's day out program for the youngest and a perschool for the oldest. Both programs are at the church. The kids love it and it gives my wife a few hours each week to catch up on bill paying or whatever else she needs to get done.

Honestly, I get tired just hearing about all the stuff they do. Our oldest wakes up in the morning asking "where are we going today, mom?" and the youngest just says, "Go? Me! Go? Me!" It would certainly be a lot more difficult to have the kids involved in so many fun and educational experiences if we both worked. In fact, almost all of the "other moms" of the kids in these programs are also stay-at-home-moms. The exceptions are those who work only part-time or who's father has a very flexible work-at-home type schedule.

I can't imagine doing it any other way.

 

[qmaster3]

Look Tony C. You are not the only Dividian on the Board

 

[English]

How about...if you aren't going to give it your all, don't have kids?

I'm for that one.

 

[AA717driver]

English--You are wise beyond your years.

I assume you are fairly young... At least that's how I've imagined you... Gotta run, there's a cold shower waiting... TC

 

[English]

....aw stop, you're making me blush....

 

[enigma]

How about...if you aren't going to give it your all, don't have kids?

I'm for that one.

Ditto's, English!!!!!!!!!!!

I so strongly support the concept that kids need their parents, that I'd walk away from the cockpit before I'd let my kids spend another day in day care. My step kids were day-care'd and the difference between them and my biological kids is night and day. My oldest daugher was kept in a friends home for three days a week for one year and I can tell the difference between her and her younger sibling who has not ever spent a day away from her mom. Kids without full time mothers are forced to do without God's intended shepard.

Go listen to Dr. Laura for a day or two and read her book entitled "Parentling by Proxie" for some professional insights into the parent child relationships and the damage that absentee parenting does to those relationships, and most importantly does to the emotional development of a child.

God will bless those who sacrifice material things in order to give their children a proper upbringing.

regards,
enigma

BTW, take your kids to Sunday school.

 

[KigAir]

The problem with socio-political movements
Thoughts?

You mean Psycho, right?

 

[vossdr1]

FlyGirl,
When you have kids, it's not about you (the parents) anymore. Kids profoundly change the landscape of life. Even if you have kids with family when parents are at work, they still crave parental attention.

BTW, not all home schoolers are branch Davidians. Not all home schoolers even attend church.

BTW, you asked about kids and flying in the first place.

Imho, you have many preconceptions that you are afraid to challenge.

 

[DC9stick]

My husband requested that I respond to your post (he is also the owner of this screen name). We think you are getting way too much negative feedback. Although I am not a pilot (my husband is)-I just retired from a 29 year career in the Federal Bureau of Prisons. That too, is a male-dominated field and I had to put up with either blatant or clandestine comments concerning my working at an all-male prison, or being pregnant in an all-male prison. After our son was born, it became a real issue finding reliable day-care with my husband being away a good deal of the time and my working irregular hours. I ran the gamut of day-care facilities, baby sitters and in home day-care operators. I can tell you I had better luck with the day-care facilities as individual baby sitters are not regulated in any way and even those home day-care operators, who are state regulated, are oftentimes suspect. When I was flying on the BOP Air-Lift, my husband and I seldom saw each other and our son was shuffled from our care to two different day-care centers. I admit that during that period of time, I felt guilty, but we had to do what we had to do and made up for it when we had our son with us by making him the center of our attention. Whenever you use someone else to care for your children, you must interview them carefully, inspect the premises, and check references. You have to work diligently to ensure your children get the best care possible and then check up on the operators periodically. Also, using a day-care facility usually means that proprietors must conform to state regulations, to include inspections in nutrition, education of their workers, and safety/sanitation. Due to our diligence in managing our schedules, spending quality time with our son, and being ever watchful of care-givers, our 20 year old son has turned out just fine, thank you. He attends a top-rated university, has never been in trouble, and is very responsible. His father and I are looking forward to our son receiving a commission to the Air Force upon his graduation. All in all, we agree that the path we took, was the right one. Good luck.

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

Of course, where you get your opinions does matter... I'm sure there are many message boards that will tell you what you want to hear... And asking a male dominated pilot message board about flying and raising kids you are going to get answers that won't be the same a pro-woman or feminists....

We all make choices....

A flying career (job) and a prison job? After day care and taxes how much was brought home? How much was needed and how much was wanted...

Finally can you ask your son, "When growing up would you have rather spent time at home with one of us or in day care?"

Let us know what he says.....


Two major factors in our society;

Women that feel they have to have a professional career or earn money to be considered of value. Both men and women have shunned the title "stay at home Mom". This almost means you're oppressed by a patriarch and function in a mindless prison (no pun intended). Free yourself! Get out of the house and get a job! Don't subject yourselves to 3000 yrs of control! and;

Keeping up with the Jones'. Our hyper consumption lifestyles causes us to blur the difference between want and need.

Good Luck....

 

[Gulfstream 200]

hyper consumption it is.

Look at a day care center around 0730am. Most drop offs are in the latest BMW or TAHOE SUV's. Not all....but a whole lot.

and thats sad. Its a choice, yes, but its sad.

I DO however, think the trend these days is towards the stay at home mom (or even dad) choice. I would say the majority of kids in our town have stay at home parents, and its your average middle class area.

It has to be a hard choice, my wife gave up a 75K/yr job to stay home..the goal was 2 years, but 4 have passed and now I couldn't get her to go back if I chased her with a stick!

Sacrafices? sure...we dont do any fancy vacations (small local family stuff). We went from 4 cars (including a sports car) to two average reliable safe vehicles. We could even get by easy with one...she could drop me at work. We went from 2 401ks,4 IRAs, and a brokerage account to just keeping up with one 401k. Thats the biggest burn on me...not seeing savings grow much. But its worth it. Christmas? no more expensive jewelry, now its kid stuff..and a $25 limit for each other (OK I dont obey that one..)

Do we miss having extra money? yeah sometimes...but I would never trade it for seeing how well my kids are raised and how good I can feel leaving on a long International run knowing that our house and family are under the 24hr care of a great wife. Thats worth every bit of extra cash we gave up..

Does this guarantee you will raise a great product? nope, not 100%, but its hard enough in the world today - give them every chance you can to get it right!

Good luck whatever your choice is!!

 

[BOSCFI]

There are jobs that you can both work and not have to put your child in day care. Airlines that do out and backs work good. Im home evrey night. I work the afternoon shift and my wife works in the morning. Its not a major airline type job (IE. pay & benefits) but it allows me to be home. No day care because we alternate watching the baby.

 

[learflyer]

Why even have kids to begin with? My wife and I have a dog and two cats at home and are STRESS FREE!! Can we have kids? (medically) Yes. Do we want them? He!! No. I may be in the minority here, but everytime I see a poor mother at the store, they always seem to be struggling. They always seem so unhappy constantly having to tell them no, put that down, no u can't have that. to me, there is nothing noble about that.

I've seen the damage children can do to a household both emotionally, and physically. Why more people don't want to have a more simple life is beyond me.