Layover Stories

[EngineOut]

A typical Frac pilot layover: After a 14 hour day, I hurry up and try to clean the lav, find a darn garbage can for my trash that the bratty kids on board left for me, and hopefully convince the FBO girls to get us hangar space because of the up and coming blizzard that is coming tonight.

Now, we are in the FBO and we just post-flighted with dispatch to tell us we have less than 10 hours of rest tonight followed by another 14 hour day (and to call back in 15 minutes because "we don't have your hotels yet for you!" Now the fbo is telling us their is no transportation for us to go to the hotel, and the Holiday inn van will take about 45 minutes to get here.

We finally get to the hotel, and ask to use their microwave for our crew meals and they say no. "We are not responsible for radiation illness!" OK. Is the restaraunt open? No. It JUST closed.

Am I exagerrating here a little? Perhaps. But this scenario happens atleast twice a week!! I guess my point was is that there are no "layovers" for frac pilots. There is just no time!

You must work for Flex.

 

[New2Flying]

see my friends and I, we only have 10 dollars, whadda we get for 10 dollars??

I think she was a little more high dollar than that!

 

[New2Flying]

For 10 dollars, she love you long time G.I.!!

Sounds like you are a "man in the know" about those $10 women!

 

[na265]

There was an FA I was in class with who was fired 3 days before we got off probation. Rumor had it she was also turning tricks in LAS. This was a high dollar type. The story went that she had "worked" her way to LAS the night of a Mike Tyson fight. Her customer had tix to the fight and had hired her to go with him. The Co found out about it and deadheaded her home the next day, they fired her before she left the airport.

 

[jarhead]

My son related this story to me that happened several years ago when he was an FO at Comair. Flight was finished for the day, and as the CA, FA, and my son were in the van on the way to the hotel, the CA suggested that the three of them change into blue jeans, and head out to a fast food joint for a burger and some fries. The FA, in a very haughty, snobbish tone of voice says to the CA….”I don’t wear blue Jeans…..I don’t even OWN a pair of blue jeans.” CA doesn’t make any wisecracks at the moment, and just says….”well, just get into something comfortable then, and we’ll go grab a bite”.

OK….fast forward to the next morning. My son is in the right seat of the CL-65, as the captain is adjusting his chair. That whole snobbish remark by the f/a the previous evening must have really stuck in his craw. Captain is fooling around with his harness, and mumbles under his breath a comment that is not really directed at my son; in fact it was barely audible. This comment absolutely broke my son up with laughter, mainly due to the time lapse from the previous evenings van ride.

CA mumbled under his breath, very softly, while shaking his head, “Doesn’t even own a pair of blue jeans”

 

[Typhoon1244]

I know a guy who was awakened in the dead of night by the loud crash of a door slamming. When he came to, he was standing naked in the hallway outside his hotel room, having sleep-walked out the door...which slammed shut behind him.

He had no choice but to ride the elevator down to the lobby and, while peeking around the corner of the elevator, get the desk clerk's attention and beg for a towel and a key.

(Hope she didn't need to see some I.D....)

 

[AA717driver]

48 beers among 5 crew members. Standing in the pool, addressing the assembled crew for several hours. IAH. August.

Pounding on an FA's door screaming for aloe. She dripping wet, just out of the shower. Not even thinking about sex. I JUST NEED ALOE!

That's the 'Cliff Notes' from "The Last Great TWA Layover Before 9/11".TC

 

[Ailerongirl]

I'm sure a few of you DFW based ASA pilots have heard the story of a certain f/a who slept in the hallway one night in HOU because she swore that there was a ghost in her room, and the front desk didn't have an empty room that they could switch her to.......

 

[Stifler's Mom]

I'm sure a few of you DFW based ASA pilots have heard the story of a certain f/a who slept in the hallway one night in HOU because she swore that there was a ghost in her room, and the front desk didn't have an empty room that they could switch her to.......

Actually no, but I heard about the one who got locked out in the hallway naked by her pilot/boyfriend on a layover. How's that for a lover's spat!?!?!?!

 

[Super 80]

A long time ago, before I was hired, a crew was having an adult swim in the Kansas City layover pool, at 3am with the lights out. Seeing how it was a 727 crew and before P.C. became the norm, camaraderie was at its height and 3 guys, each pilot types, and 3 girls were on what my wife used to call a mini-date.

Now unabeknowst to them in the ensuing frivolity, one of the items shed, some underwear had worked its way into the scavenge system for the circulating pumps. It went through the pipes into the pump house down below and promptly got shredded and caught in the pump's gears. This caused an excessive amount of binding, and the pump started to smoke...which set off the silent smoke alarm.

So here's the whole crew in their birthday suits at 3am, mostly inebriated, when Kansas City's finest Fire Department bursts in and turns on the lights.

Talk about getting caught with your pants down.

 

[New2Flying]

Now that is classic! No one could make up something like that!

 

[scangadah]

Sounds like you are a "man in the know" about those $10 women!

The women that JBcrjca hangs out with would give him $5 back.

 

[New2Flying]

The women that JBcrjca hangs out with would give him $5 back.

That could be taken either way!

 

[e=mc2]

Neighbor told me of a FA that worked for one of the winter charter companys - for 1 day. Seems they have a charter to Cancun, she takes her husband. The charter lands crew goes to the hotel for the overnight. She thinks the crew is staying the full 7 days and takes off with her husband to see the sights. Next day crew is short 1 FA.

Fill in the blanks about when she showed back up in seven days.

 

[JBcrjca]

The women that JBcrjca hangs out with would give him $5 back.

Hey I'm just happy if a woman will give me the time of day...if I get $5 back, that's just an added bonus!
Speaking of money, scangadah, how much did you have to pay those girls in your avatar to come dance on the Bugs' boat? I've heard that girls on the river are cheap, something like 3 bucks?

Someone mentioned F/As afraid of ghosts...reminds me of a layover at STS, with a fantastic hotel downtown. Since it was also reportedly haunted, most F/As preferred rooms in the annex building across the street. One night the rooms in the annex were all full, and our F/A had to stay in the main building. After returning from the pub where many, many beers had been consumed, the F/A announced that she was too scared to sleep in her own room, and that she would crash on the couch in my room. Of course I said that would be fine. As she made herself comfy on the couch, I said 'don't be silly, sleeping on that couch will wreck your back...you can share the bed with me, and we'll put pillows down the middle'. Hey, I look out for the welfare of my crew! She agreed, and the pillows were put into place. It was rather amusing...and that's all I have to say about that. I sure miss STS. Ok scangadah, your turn.

 

[mar]

I need a new gig.

I have got to get a flying gig with stews.

 

[Ailerongirl]

*raising an eyebrow* stews????

 

[jarhead]

Yup....that's short for STEWARDESS......That's the way it was before the PC police had to gender neutralize everything.

In the Railroad days, the job was held by males, and they were called STEWARDS. I am old enough to remember riding in Pullman cars, and I cannot recall ever seeing a female STEWARD. It was a job totally dominated by males. Now days, we have to be sensitive though. In the air, there are male flight attendants now. Most are gay (not that there is anything wrong with that), but couldn't they be called stewards, and females be called stewardess, and collectively, they all be called 'stewardi"?

 

[Denizen]

"stews"

:Chortle:

 

[Ailerongirl]

Ummm jar.....knew what he meant thanks! Was just poking fun!