Welcome to MY hell...
Welcome abourd maam, I'm sorry but I have to tell you about the doors and seatbelts before we can go.....I'm sorry maam, we don't have Evian, will Perrier do? I'm sorry about that....Sure your dog can be out of his carrier as long as the little fuc..I mean the little cutie doesn't come up to the cockpit....It might be a little bumpy as we go down through these clouds, could you please put your belt back on? No, I'm sorry, we don't have an extension with us on this flight....Well I'm sorry, but technically this IS a commercial flight and therefore smoking is prohibited by law....We'll know and that's enough for us....Yes I'm SURE we don't have any Evian, I'm sorry....It's OK, we'll clean that up when we get on the ground, maybe he should get back in his cage now?....Just a minute please, I'm talking to the tower...No Maam, we will be right on time.....My sheet says you wanted to arrive at 9:45. I'm sorry, our paperwork must be in error on that....What's B***don doing on the appraoch to TPA at 2600 feet?...Yes captain, I do think that you are a little high on this approach, but at least you have that extra 50 knots...Yes Maam, I'll be sure and get some Evian for the return trip, could you take your seat please? That big road down there is the runway....No Maam, if we depart after 9:00 we will be illegal to fly because of duty time requirements...I'm sorry, our scheduler should have told you that like she has every customer since we began operations....Yes Maam, i'm going to get the Evian as soon as I get you into your limo...See you for the return trip. We'll be waiting right here(for hours.)
Starvin' see what you have to look forward to?
It's all good....