I want to someday get paid to fly. What do you think?

[Goose Egg]

Not BA, but BS.

Another Business Administration major, I see . . .

Nope. Guess again.

-Goose

 

[bobbysamd]

B.s.

Nope. Guess again.

-Goose

Econ?

 

[pilotyip]

For Bobby

And do you know what Adam Smith said about Atty's?

 

[bobbysamd]

And do you know what Adam Smith said about Atty's?

I do but cannot recite it.

Let's just say that an attorney is a nice thing to have if (1) someone runs you over; (2) some fed comes over to help; (3) you are elderly and a neighbor's dog knocks you over as you are walking; (4) etc.

 

[avbug]

Do you know who John Stuart Mill is?

None other than the creater of the Bastard Mill File. He was later legitimately married, and designed the half-bastard mill file, in honor of his first born son.

How about Adam Smith?

Signer of the declaration of Independence, poet, laureat, rider of fine ponies. He started what was later to become the national baketball league, and was killed in the first known and recorded ride-by shooting in a dispute over dried apricots. Some believe that had he survived until later years, and had he been born a century and a half later, he might have won a nobel peace prize for his contributions to the development of the adult diaper.

What's the difference between retained earnings and owner's equity?

That one's easy. Retained earnings are what my ex-wife got at each payday. These consisted of exactly 100% of my paycheck. Owners equity was the paystub I got when the action was all over, telling me how much I earned, which was exactly 100% of the sum of money I would never see.

Do you prefer Picasso over Dali?

Neither. I don't care for itallian, and I'm alergic to fancy foods. But if I had to choose, I'd take Picasso on white bread with some lettuce and mustard sauce.

Do you agree with Skinner or Freud?

I didn't like skinner. He was always against Mulder and Sculley. Freud is obviously a partial allusion to Freud-Dude, of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure fame. A mythical cocaine and sex addict of times past, he travelled to our modern day in a magic telephone booth, hosted by george carlin.

Would you know how to type a business letter?

With a typewriter. That one was easy.

What is an integral?

The diametric opposite of an outegral.

How does photosynthesis occur?

By pushing the button, silly. That's how you activate the shutter. Photosynthisis is when clicking the little button and the camera subject come together to make a really greatshot.

What is meant by geostrophic balance?

Geostrophic balance is a front end alignment for certain cheverolet geo automobiles with negative camber on front wheel drive systems. Geo, meaning, geo, and strophic, meaning really screwed up.

What is the speed of light?

Seven years. And about half a million miles, whatever that works out to be. That's how long it took to figure out that my ex wasn't much better than wale blubber and I should have dumped her 6.9 years previously. It took seven years to see the light.

What is the significance of the figure 9.8m/s^2?

Nine point eight meters per second per second is either gravitational acceleration at sea level, or the fastest 50 yard dash in NFL history.

Where does Jupiter reside in the solar system?

Day, or night? Be more specific.

How does one copy a formula in MS Excel?

That depends on the availability of a kinkos. Also one's age. A pencil stillworks pretty darn good, and never needs batteries or an ink cartridge. One copies a formula by looking on one's neighbor's paper while not turning one's head. And it's only one way to excell. There are many others.

What does ATP stand for (hint: the answer is not Airline Transport Pilot).

All The People. Formerly We, the people. Pre-electorate-college days.

What is DNA?

An all girl group, DNA won the 1982 grammy for finest harmony in a syncopated trio. Also the first pop girl group to feature a baratone knockout blond african-american woman with a college degree.

What does DNA stand for?

Da New Attitude.

What is vapor pressure?

It's John Kerry's boiling point.

How do I make a perfect fly-cast?

The secret is getting the fly imobilized long enough to get the plaster to set.

What is a top-spin lob?

Anything published by the republican party.

Who is your favorite astronomer? (I kind of like Messier.)

If you'd spent less time getting that pretty-boy education, you'd have listened to your mother, and know that cleaner is better than messier. More zen, too.

Is watercolor painting easier than oil?

That depends. With water colors, at least you can still see the little numbers.

 

[Goose Egg]

If you'd spent less time getting that pretty-boy education...

The tragedy here is that you think that a BS degree from a state school is "pretty-boy." Oh well, you have your time, and I have my degree. No regrets.

Anyway, good job on the rest of the message. Some of them were actually funny.

-Goose

Oh, and I wasn't an econ major. Think technical.

 

[pilotyip]

Adam Smith

Wrote "Wealth of Nations" the first micro economics book in the late 1700's in England. He said Atty's and clergy were parasites upon society for they produce no economic good.

 

[avbug]

Oh. That Adam Smith. The original poster, mr. egghead, should have been more specific. The other Mr. Smith, the one who died in the apricot dispute, was more of a macroeconomic expert.

But then, size doesn't really matter, does it?

 

[phil]

uh oh, a bad egg...

Anyway, good job on the rest of the message. Some of them were actually funny.

-Goose

Oh, and I wasn't an econ major. Think technical.

......No....think anal.....

 

[DFries]

$1.98 in late fees

My favorite quote "you spent 100,000 dollars on an education you can get for $1.98 in late fees at the public library" Matt Damon, Good Will Hunting.

Actually college is very important to a prospective employer, It shows that you can maintain a reasonable amount of discipline while partying and drinking every night. A very valuable asset if you plan on being a pilot for the majors!!!