I need a hug...

[JD2003]

Action professional should command a salary that warrants it.

 

[piginshlitz]

This should give us all some hope. It is a reply I recieved when I sent out the original post to some of my non-airline friends. It reminds me that not every piece of cabin balast is the one we talk about. There are a few who respect us and the traditions we wish we still lived by.



I can add a few:



PASSENGERS

1) It didn’t fit overhead the last time. It still doesn’t fit. It will never fit. Get a smaller bag or, and I know this is CRAZY, check it.

2) The privilege of having a fellow person sitting on only one side of you comes with a price. That price? You get to use one armrest. The poor sap sitting bitch in between the two cast members from “The Biggest Loser”? He gets both of his. Common courtesy, even if he *was* too stupid to pick a better seat when he booked/checked in. And if you’re sitting on the aisle, stay the hell out of the way of the FAs – your tasseled penny loafers included.

3) Getting to the aisle at warp speed the moment the aircraft shares the same zipcode with the jetway does NOT entitle you to get off ahead of your fellow passengers. You wait for the rows ahead of you, then you can go. And guys, how hard is it to remember ladies first?

4) “Inside voice” rules still apply – even if you’re on your cell and you’re in the terminal. For pete’s sake, the 90-year old deaf woman three gates down can hear you. Keep it under 80 decibels.

5) And speaking of cell phones, resist the temptation to notify your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/relative/co-worker that you’ve arrived THE MOMENT the plane has landed. Wait that extra 90 seconds until you’re in the terminal. I want to get out, get to my car, and go along my way. I don’t want to hear what you need Bob in accounting to do for you next week while you’re standing with your ass in my face. And speaking of asses…

6) Farting on the plane. Not cool. Not cool at all. I’m talking to you, too, ladies, with your little silent “no one will notice” ones. It’s a confined goddanged space. We all notice, every time.

 

[Snakum]

Number 6 ... guilty.

Minhommad

 

[SiouxHockeyFan]

I feel your pain acaterry, every day it is getting worse and worse.

 

[Z28_Pilot]

Since we're on the subject, I love when the person in front of you (oblivious to the fact that there is someone DIRECTLY behind you!) slams their seat back so hard that it's apparent they believe they might be able to blow the stops out and get a little more reclining action going!

-or the coughing/sneezing fit aimed in your direction (still clueless when I turn the gaspers toward them full blast!

-or the guy that tries to use my shoulder as his pillow so he doesn't disturb his wifes reading with his baboon-like snoring!

-or the schmuck that HAD to have a Jack 'n Coke at 10AM!!!, then proceed to dump it all over the dead-heading crewmember sitting next to him (me!)

-or the folks that bring the whole operation to a complete stand-still, because they have to "pee" while we're taxiing out to the runway!

-or the morons that think they'll get out ahead of everyone else if they pop the seatbelt off the second we touch down (actually, it's worth the show when the CA has to "spike" the brakes at the gate!)

-or the guy in the middle who believes that, not only are both armrests HIS!, but also about 6 in. of your space! - thank you!
HaHa.....I love commuting!

 

[ClearRight]

I'll add one for the flight attendants:

Don't talk about the passengers in front of the first class cabin. You never know if those seated in Row 1 are in the same party as the obstinate lady in Row 12! They can hear you!!

 

[hawg2hawk]

People, man.

Once, getting on a full 6 hour overseas flight (coach), I slid into the coveted middle seat to find that the space under the seat in front of me was filled to overflowing with someone else's crap. I am not a tall guy, but my knees were bent past 90 degrees from all the stuff. People on both sides of me. When I identified who the perp was, and politely asked if they would move said crap so I could put my own crap there (full overhead), the guy looked at me like I'd just stripped naked and said "So you want me to sacrifice my personal comfort so you can be comfortable?"

Whaaat?

The only appropriate response I could think of at the time would have landed me in the joint, and the strain of supressing the urge to carry it out rendered me speechless. Finally I said "just move your sh!t."

It bugs me to this day that I couldn't think of any better comeback, because I still can't. Anyone? I want a hip pocketer for WHEN it happens again.

 

[Jurassic Jet]

CLASSIC!

acaTerry and Z28.....you guys owe me for one ruined keyboard after spitting coffee all over it!

How true it all is.

This is almost...(almost) better than the Diarreah (sp?) in a Freighter thread.

Still ROTFLMFAO.

 

[semperfido]

just mass transit in the 90s....errr i mean 2000s.

i love to take a smelly big mac with fries on board as well.

 

[flying4food]

That was awesome!!! That post described my last year of commuting!!! I think those nasty toe-jammed, jungle-rot black feet in flip-flops are the worst. Can't folks wear something other than shower shoes while traveling???