I Have To Pee!!!

[Bally]

I have been flying the BBJ for some time now, and was excited to fly our Hawker on a trip this weekend. What is the deal with pilots not wanting to use the lav?

We were on a five hour flight, and my fellow crewmember told me that it is common practice to hold off on fluids for long flights, so you would not need to use the lav.

What is this all about? The worst thing you can do to your body while flying is avoid water. If you are flying passengers who would be disturbed if the crew used the lav, I would find another job.

Am I being unreasonable?

 

[rice]

Unreasonable? I don't think so.

This thread struck a cord with me.
It's all about perceptions, or at least thats what a former misguided CP once told me. (This guy was a piece of work) I'm certain this guy "held it" on numerous occasions because he thought that the pax would look down on him if he used the lav during a flight. (BTW, everyone in the flight dept. was typed)
This same guy also wouldn't let his crew member put the covers on the airplane while the pax were still "on the airport". Sucks when the limo/wife/rental car is 45 minutes late picking up. A co-captain once got chewed for drinking a bottle of water on the ramp in PHX while the pax were de-planing (after he had put all the luggage in the car).
My point is, you come across all kinds of morons in this business. Most of the people I've flown with are great but ebvery once in a while you come across the one who needs surgery to remove the head from the a$$.
Okay I feel better now.

 

[banned username 2]

I think there is rarely a flight over 2-3 hours that I don't go back and make a visit to the lav...

When we were purchasing our Falcon 900EX's we were looking at the forward Lav (for crew) but the CEO insisted that we just use the same lav in back and save the weight and space of the forward lav...

 

[750driver]

Yeah, I've seen a few of these "professionals" over the years. It's absolutely absurd to operate in this way. I had one jerk that told me at the beginning of a trip, "Only the PIC should address the passengers and their questions. Don't even talk to them, I'll handle it."

I was like WTF? Is this guy serious? We were all typed Captains flying together on this aircraft.

 

[banned username 2]

Yeah, I've seen a few of these "professionals" over the years. It's absolutely absurd to operate in this way. I had one jerk that told me at the beginning of a trip, "Only the PIC should address the passengers and their questions. Don't even talk to them, I'll handle it."

Well fortunately most of these "Geniuses" are the older "Old School" types... they'll all be retired soon...

 

[TMMT]

And here I was all along thinking it was just me who found these fools.

Flown with one myself, wouldn’t eat, drink or whiz while airborne this included the occasional deadhead. I’m glad he left for greener pastures about a year after I came on board, I just feel sorry for the unfortunate souls he was now management over.

On our trips I am constantly drinking bottled water and the occasional cup of joe and up to the lav about every two to three hrs or so.

And no one here can tell me that you haven’t flown a deadhead when, just as soon as you hit cruise the skipper didn’t scramble for the back, kick their shoes off and grab a snooze or switch on the TV.

Some guys are coiled tighter than dicks hat band.

TMMT

 

[501261]

I have been flying the BBJ for some time now, and was excited to fly our Hawker on a trip this weekend. What is the deal with pilots not wanting to use the lav?

We were on a five hour flight, and my fellow crewmember told me that it is common practice to hold off on fluids for long flights, so you would not need to use the lav.

What is this all about? The worst thing you can do to your body while flying is avoid water. If you are flying passengers who would be disturbed if the crew used the lav, I would find another job.

Am I being unreasonable?

That's absolutely ridiculous! Yes, there are some idiots flying out there. You know what' I'd do? If he doesn't want you to go use the lav. Get one of those "pee bottles" and use it just as he's about to start eating his crew meal, make sure you "sprinkle". That'll probably be the last time he complains about using the lav!

Now I do have a problem with someone taking a big 20 minute long “steamer” in front of the pax. Emergencies not withstanding, but you’ve got to be able to hold that!

 

[banned username 2]

Re: Re: I Have To Pee!!!

Now I do have a problem with someone taking a big 20 minute long “steamer” in front of the pax. Emergencies not withstanding, but you’ve got to be able to hold that!

If I'm at FL 410 at 30°W over the North Atlantic and nature calls for a "steamer"... I'm goin!

 

[501261]

Hey if you got to go, go. But man I've had someone take a "Steamer" and I seriously considered dropping the O2 masks for "passenger comfort", I was already on O2!

That poor dude was so embarrassed! The boss's eyes were watering and he asked, "Is he going to be alright?"

I'm still laughing at that incident 8 years ago!

To make matters worse, he ran out of TP!!!!!!!!!!!!! He ended up using his undershirt!

Poor guy!

 

[rice]

Just don't bring a copy of the newspaper with you for the "steamer".
Now that would be a valid perception you really wouldn't want to convey to the pax.

 

[banned username 2]

Hey if you got to go, go. But man I've had someone take a "Steamer" and I seriously considered dropping the O2 masks for "passenger comfort", I was already on O2!

That poor dude was so embarrassed! The boss's eyes were watering and he asked, "Is he going to be alright?"

I'm still laughing at that incident 8 years ago!

To make matters worse, he ran out of TP!!!!!!!!!!!!! He ended up using his undershirt!

Poor guy!

Oh YUCK!

We are fortunate as our outflow valves are at the rear... So the pax could be eating their filet mignon and you could be "takin' care of business" and they won't have a clue what you are doing...

 

[banned username 2]

Pun intended?

Hahahaha... well I guess that has more than one accurate meaning!

 

[passion4flying]

allright guys,

that is all fine and dandy, but when you are fllying a lear 35 back from Seattle after just eating lunch and then nature calls. try getting any privacy in a lear 35. Part of the perception is the type of plane you fly. A lear 35 is no place to be "taking care of business". You guys are talking about BBJ, Falcon 900 and the like.

 

[banned username 2]

allright guys,

that is all fine and dandy, but when you are fllying a lear 35 back from Seattle after just eating lunch and then nature calls. try getting any privacy in a lear 35. Part of the perception is the type of plane you fly. A lear 35 is no place to be "taking care of business". You guys are talking about BBJ, Falcon 900 and the like.

I agree... when I was flying Lear 35's I did everything within my power to not use the "Honey Pot"... Couldn't get any privacy in there anyhow...

 

[LJDRVR]

This reminds me of a story where the FO pulls out a Wall Street Journal during long-range cruise, to which the Captains clears his throat and gives the guy a dirty look. The FO puts his newspaper away, pulls out the FOM and proceeds to to quiz the Captain on Abnormals/Emergencies. After a few minutes of this, the Captain says: "Didn't you have a newspaper to read?"

Cheers,

 

[Gulfstream 200]

limit the coffee and coke
drink lots of water
pee when necessary...

I couldn't imagine flying with such a crusty old prik who wouldn't suggest drinking and using the crapper......unreal....hopefully these folks are slowly diappearing....out on eave due to kidney stones...

 

[Bally]

The pilot I was flying with on that Hawker is only 27 years old. Not an old fart at all. Using the Lav in a large corporate jet such as the Gulfstream, Challenger, Falcon 900, BBJ, or even the super mid like the G-200 does not seem to be a problem.

It is longer range mid-size jets like the Hawker, Astra, Citation X, where to get to the lav, you need to squeeze down the isle. Again, while I do not think it is unreasonable to limit the use of the lav to only when necessary, to intentionally not drink fluids or hold it till it hurts is just wrong.

 

[2000flyer]

Try using the lav in a C500 series (forget the XL) Citation. Unless you're only 4'6" tall, you're in trouble. Otherwise you'll either throw your back out contorting or come out with a very wet leg! However, when nature calls and there is no holding on, if you're good, you can stand on your knees, wrap your foot through the cargo net for balance, lean one elbow against the bulkhead for the occassional turbulence and maybe squeeze out enough to get your to your destination!

Great, now I have to pee.

2000Flyer

 

[501261]

Whenever I'm flying with a new guy and they have to go pee, the d@mn airplane for some unknown reason always jolts. I can't explain it, it's not like I'm touching anything

 

[h25b]

I can certainly sympathize with this plight flying the Hawkers. The thing can do the 5 hour flight thing, but unfortunately being a water drinker, my bladder cannot...

Like most Hawkers configured for 8 passengers things can get really cramped in a hurry. We'll routinely blast-off for these 5 hr. flights with eight pax. and their baggs for a trip. Their bags take up the entire closet area, they all want their brief cases back with them which end up in the aisle as the flight progresses setting up a nice hop-scotch course enroute to the lav that's almost impossible to enter because of the three passengers sitting on the couch. This all forces you to have the private conversation with yourself whether it's worth it or not... This because the pax all give you "the look". Like you should be some super-human. Somehow they seem to forget how they have all had to visit the lav and somehow the pilots should have a bladder that's so huge it occupies your entire chest cavity.

Gee whiz, it sure would be nice to fly a Falcon 900, 2000, a G-IV, Global, etc... Anything that would make this plight go away.

In conclusion... I've reasoned that NOONE, let me repeat NOONE, gets in between me and the lav when the bladder comes calling. Don't let anyone make you think just because your a pilot that you should somehow have the aux. bladder tank installed... There's no shame in taking "The Walk..."

 

[h25b]

By the way, I just wanted to thank everyone for the great posts on this thread. Truely one of the funnier threads I've seen for a while. There's obviously some really fun guys to fly with on this board.

Fly safe all...

 

[justApilot]

Next time the "knucklehead" that you are flying with has a problem with you getting out of your seat to take a wiz....just whip it out right there in your seat, stuff it into the Gatorade bottle that you have just finished and let her rip...


I did that once on a Westwind, I was the "knucklehead" so I didn't have to worry about that. Anyway I really didn't have much of a choice, there were 4 guys in back with the club seats pulled out into the aisle with their legs all over the place and they were sleeping. There was no way that I was going to crawl all over them to get to the lav without waking them. Should have seen the face of the FO when he saw what I was doing. Priceless.

 

[temcgrew]

forget the lav, use the RAMP!!

I worked for a charter company flying citation 550's. We flew the WCW guys around every week which was crazy anyway in those little airplanes with 4 or 5 monster pro wrestlers and 2 or 3 "normal" people. We would get back at 1:00am with two EMPTY cases of COORS LIGHT and a few full bladders.(not ordinary sized bladders either!) since the lav was out of the question, they would get out of the airplane and use the ramp on the non FBO side of the airplane. The FBO asked us to stop it from happening, but I wasn't going to tell the Macho Man Randy Savage to stop Wizzing on the ramp!! ooohhhh yeaahhhhh!!!

 

[pa56pa]

This has been one of the funnier posts I've seen in a while... LOLOL

I was in Mexico two wks ago.... and unfortunately, I had too much Margarita one day. I guess, because possibly, the ice was unfiltered, I came home with the WORST runs I've ever had.
A trip to BHM followed and that's when I got sick. Well, I wanted to go home bad! My co-captain is one of those "old school" don't wanna drink water types...

I made it known that the lav would be occupied possibly every 30 min. and it wouldn't make the boss happy, but at that point... I had no choice... Imagine a 4 hour trip back to the west coast in a LR55 where I had to use the lav frequently. Thank God for PeptoBismol... I only had to use it 3x.

and the boss was asleep everytime I passed by him.... LOLOL

My co-captain surely didnt have much to say except, "Wow.. you only had to go 3X... that's great!" LOLOL

 

[Airpiraterob]

oh boy...

i wont even say the name or in what capacity of the company he was but he was sitting up front at the controls, and flying the plane. this particular lav ikn question was in a king air 200. something you just dont use unless its urination ONLY! so there they are up high cruising long range at FL twenty something. and the fresh fruit from the departure point down south has been passed all around to everyone. well this guys reaction to fresh fruit is unpredictable. but this time it hits him. using the back of the plane is unacceptable, not just a texas sized steamer but a full on anchor drop is instore for this guy! so hes sweating like crazy as the event nears its horizon. rocking back and forth wishing they could just go faster and get there....what do you do?...land somewhere else right now is the answer. he went running across the ramp <i dont knwo how he ran wiht that cargo> to the FBO. the passengers chuckled alot. his new nickname is peaches. sad part was they were just a half hour away from their destination.

when you gotta go you gotta go. aint no stoppin nature no matter how abhorrid and foul it may be

 

[501261]

If I'm at FL 410 at 30°W over the North Atlantic and nature calls for a "steamer"... I'm goin!

You know, come to think of it I think I took a dump at 30 W three weeks ago!!!! Nasty Szweinebraten (sp) too!

 

[banned username 2]

You know, come to think of it I think I took a dump at 30 W three weeks ago!!!! Nasty Szweinebraten (sp) too!

I hate to say it, but I can't remember the last crossing that I DIDN'T go for an "extended visit" to the rear of the cabin... Our Flight Engineers just keep the food coming... after 9 hours, a mans gotta go!

 

[JetPilot500]

...after 9 hours, a mans gotta go!

What do you mean 9 hours?!

You are typically heading to the back for an extended visit after 1 hour!!!

JetPilot500

 

[banned username 2]

What do you mean 9 hours?!

You are typically heading to the back for an extended visit after 1 hour!!!

JetPilot500

YOU are a BAD MAN!

 

[irapilot]

Flying cargo in DC-3s - we had a honey pot in the "lav" compartment aft (really it is were we kept the oil in 5 gal buckets). The guy who had to go would have to climb over all the cargo - boxes or whatever - the light in the compartment never worked and then the guy left up front would (after a carefully calculated time) would lightly dance on the rudders. Hitting the target with all this going on needed almost Jordan-like balance, grace and style. I did piss in a flashlight once in a Baron - of course a "steamer" was out of the question!