I Have To Pee!!!

[h25b]

By the way, I just wanted to thank everyone for the great posts on this thread. Truely one of the funnier threads I've seen for a while. There's obviously some really fun guys to fly with on this board.

Fly safe all...

 

[justApilot]

Next time the "knucklehead" that you are flying with has a problem with you getting out of your seat to take a wiz....just whip it out right there in your seat, stuff it into the Gatorade bottle that you have just finished and let her rip...


I did that once on a Westwind, I was the "knucklehead" so I didn't have to worry about that. Anyway I really didn't have much of a choice, there were 4 guys in back with the club seats pulled out into the aisle with their legs all over the place and they were sleeping. There was no way that I was going to crawl all over them to get to the lav without waking them. Should have seen the face of the FO when he saw what I was doing. Priceless.

 

[temcgrew]

forget the lav, use the RAMP!!

I worked for a charter company flying citation 550's. We flew the WCW guys around every week which was crazy anyway in those little airplanes with 4 or 5 monster pro wrestlers and 2 or 3 "normal" people. We would get back at 1:00am with two EMPTY cases of COORS LIGHT and a few full bladders.(not ordinary sized bladders either!) since the lav was out of the question, they would get out of the airplane and use the ramp on the non FBO side of the airplane. The FBO asked us to stop it from happening, but I wasn't going to tell the Macho Man Randy Savage to stop Wizzing on the ramp!! ooohhhh yeaahhhhh!!!

 

[pa56pa]

This has been one of the funnier posts I've seen in a while... LOLOL

I was in Mexico two wks ago.... and unfortunately, I had too much Margarita one day. I guess, because possibly, the ice was unfiltered, I came home with the WORST runs I've ever had.
A trip to BHM followed and that's when I got sick. Well, I wanted to go home bad! My co-captain is one of those "old school" don't wanna drink water types...

I made it known that the lav would be occupied possibly every 30 min. and it wouldn't make the boss happy, but at that point... I had no choice... Imagine a 4 hour trip back to the west coast in a LR55 where I had to use the lav frequently. Thank God for PeptoBismol... I only had to use it 3x.

and the boss was asleep everytime I passed by him.... LOLOL

My co-captain surely didnt have much to say except, "Wow.. you only had to go 3X... that's great!" LOLOL

 

[Airpiraterob]

oh boy...

i wont even say the name or in what capacity of the company he was but he was sitting up front at the controls, and flying the plane. this particular lav ikn question was in a king air 200. something you just dont use unless its urination ONLY! so there they are up high cruising long range at FL twenty something. and the fresh fruit from the departure point down south has been passed all around to everyone. well this guys reaction to fresh fruit is unpredictable. but this time it hits him. using the back of the plane is unacceptable, not just a texas sized steamer but a full on anchor drop is instore for this guy! so hes sweating like crazy as the event nears its horizon. rocking back and forth wishing they could just go faster and get there....what do you do?...land somewhere else right now is the answer. he went running across the ramp <i dont knwo how he ran wiht that cargo> to the FBO. the passengers chuckled alot. his new nickname is peaches. sad part was they were just a half hour away from their destination.

when you gotta go you gotta go. aint no stoppin nature no matter how abhorrid and foul it may be

 

[501261]

If I'm at FL 410 at 30°W over the North Atlantic and nature calls for a "steamer"... I'm goin!

You know, come to think of it I think I took a dump at 30 W three weeks ago!!!! Nasty Szweinebraten (sp) too!

 

[banned username 2]

You know, come to think of it I think I took a dump at 30 W three weeks ago!!!! Nasty Szweinebraten (sp) too!

I hate to say it, but I can't remember the last crossing that I DIDN'T go for an "extended visit" to the rear of the cabin... Our Flight Engineers just keep the food coming... after 9 hours, a mans gotta go!

 

[JetPilot500]

...after 9 hours, a mans gotta go!

What do you mean 9 hours?!

You are typically heading to the back for an extended visit after 1 hour!!!

JetPilot500

 

[banned username 2]

What do you mean 9 hours?!

You are typically heading to the back for an extended visit after 1 hour!!!

JetPilot500

YOU are a BAD MAN!

 

[irapilot]

Flying cargo in DC-3s - we had a honey pot in the "lav" compartment aft (really it is were we kept the oil in 5 gal buckets). The guy who had to go would have to climb over all the cargo - boxes or whatever - the light in the compartment never worked and then the guy left up front would (after a carefully calculated time) would lightly dance on the rudders. Hitting the target with all this going on needed almost Jordan-like balance, grace and style. I did piss in a flashlight once in a Baron - of course a "steamer" was out of the question!

 

[bigD]

LMAO! You guys are killing me! I have a GR exam in an hour - I don't think I'll be able to concentrate now. Heh!

 

[T-Gates]

I did piss in a flashlight once in a Baron

Now that took some inginuity!

The Macgyver award for this thread goes to you pal......


--03M

 

[OtterFO]

I had a fairly well known passenger drop a steamer in the lav of a King Air 200 once. He was the only passenger and afterword we both doned the necessary masks and hit the emergancy dump valve at FL20something. It did a really good job of deoderizing the airplane.....

 

[Fokkerflyer]

Hey-

Here's a good one:

A few years back I flew a 50 for a rich 40something guy who enjoyed getting it on with (usually) his girlfriend in the cabin.

One time, on an a.m. flight (yup, lots of coffee...) they were at it again, and both of us had to go pretty bad. The road to relief was blocked, but digging around in the galley I found a thermos bottle. To make a long story short- we both found relief.

And yes, we did throw away the thermos after landing.

FF

 

[banned username 2]

I found a thermos bottle. To make a long story short- we both found relief.

Oh yuck! Sharing a thermos bottle!

I'm not saying you should have done it, but I understand!

 

[Fokkerflyer]

I went first. Captain's discretion...

 

[PilotRon]

Flew with a commuter flight attendant who told me this one. She was flying Dornier328 and went into the lav. In the toilet was the biggest and longest log she had ever seen. She said she began laughing so hard when she saw it and I asked why. She explained that what made it so funny was that it was wrapped around the inside of the toilet and part came up to the ridge. It seems the person that laid it was so proud that he stuck his business card on the end sticking up!

Keep up the good stories

 

[501261]

Flew with a commuter flight attendant who told me this one. She was flying Dornier328 and went into the lav. In the toilet was the biggest and longest log she had ever seen. She said she began laughing so hard when she saw it and I asked why. She explained that what made it so funny was that it was wrapped around the inside of the toilet and part came up to the ridge. It seems the person that laid it was so proud that he stuck his business card on the end sticking up!

Keep up the good stories

Oh you reminded me of a good one, a few years back I was airlining home, after a few hours I had to hit the lav. Low and behold there is a big a$$ log (had to be about 12 inches long) a waiting me in the lav. Well being the polite passenger that I am I tried to flush that thing down. After repeated flushings that log was still there, so I figured that since I had to pee I might as well try and "hose it down". Eventually my hose ran out of juice and this log was still sittin' pretty. So I tried to flush it down a few more times. No luck, my politeness is through, I figured it’s not mine and I'm just going to leave it.

Sure enough I step out of the lav and this beautiful blond is waiting to go. I have that deer-in-the-headlights look; I'm thinking should I go back in and try to remove the offending log. I simply sputtered "I swear that was not me in there." You think she believed me? She gave me the dirtiest look as she went back to her seat.

 

[750driver]

... Low and behold there is a big a$$ log (had to be about 12 inches long) a waiting me in the lav. Well being the polite passenger that I am I tried to flush that thing down. After repeated flushings that log was still there, so I figured that since I had to pee I might as well try and "hose it down". Eventually my hose ran out of juice and this log was still sittin' pretty. So I tried to flush it down a few more times. No luck, my politeness is through, I figured it’s not mine and I'm just going to leave it.

This is a prime example of why it always pays to have a crash axe on board

 

[jergar999]

Coat hangars are wonderful for braking up unusually dense steamers. On at least one occasion I ended up hanging a sport coat on a seat. Man that flashlight thing, that's incredible. I used to fly with a guy who loved to come up with names for it every time...

going to drop some friends at the pool, feeling the mud blow, etc, making it even harder to walk to the lav with a straight face.