future wife doesn't understand

[acaTerry]

www.nomarriage.com

That was one of the biggest wastes of time in my life. Created by, maintained by, and supported by...idiots.
I have been flying over 20 years, was a military man, and have been married over 10 years (yes, 1st marriage--read that ONLY---marriage). And you can blame the job, the military, bad sex, whatever...the thing that causes a marriage to fail is simply marrying the wrong person. No I didn't f-ck around before I was married, neither did my wife. We didn't "test things out" by shacking up before getting married, and no, I don't think a real man needs porn. If you get to KNOW the person, and quit judging your prospects of getting married by how good they are in bed,

 

[acaTerry]

That was one of the biggest wastes of time in my life. Created by, maintained by, and supported by...idiots.
I have been flying over 20 years, was a military man, and have been married over 10 years (yes, 1st marriage--read that ONLY---marriage). And you can blame the job, the military, bad sex, whatever...the thing that causes a marriage to fail is simply marrying the wrong person. No I didn't f-ck around before I was married, neither did my wife. We didn't "test things out" by shacking up before getting married, and no, I don't think a real man needs porn. If you get to KNOW the person, and quit judging your prospects of getting married by how good they are in bed,

OOPS...didn't get it all...anyway (let me assume soapbox again...

how much money they will make, or whatever...you will not go wrong. In this guys case, dump her. She doesn't love you. Dump her, she'll leave you as soon as things get tough. Dump her, she'll get a boyfreind when you are gone.
Don't join the Failed Marriage Club. If flying is what you do, then find someone who accepts it, and lasts a long time with you before getting married. Marriage is a great thing with the right person. I didn't trade in my ba11s or whatever else people tell you about marriage. If ya got the right one, nothings better.

 

[Oh-ryan]

That was one of the biggest wastes of time in my life. Created by, maintained by, and supported by...idiots.
I have been flying over 20 years, was a military man, and have been married over 10 years (yes, 1st marriage--read that ONLY---marriage). And you can blame the job, the military, bad sex, whatever...the thing that causes a marriage to fail is simply marrying the wrong person. No I didn't f-ck around before I was married, neither did my wife. We didn't "test things out" by shacking up before getting married, and no, I don't think a real man needs porn. If you get to KNOW the person, and quit judging your prospects of getting married by how good they are in bed,

You're right... I don't need it. I want it every once in a while though.

 

[av8er2]

She has told you how she feels. She probably won't change. Some women don't mind pilots being gone some and some can't stand it. A pilot needs to understand what she wants. Not all women can handle a commuting pilot. This is why I think the divorce rate is so high with pilots, they don't understand the wife and/or try to change her.

Good luck.

 

[800Dog]

She has told you how she feels. She probably won't change. Some women don't mind pilots being gone some and some can't stand it. A pilot needs to understand what she wants. Not all women can handle a commuting pilot. This is why I think the divorce rate is so high with pilots, they don't understand the wife and/or try to change her.

Good luck.

Not that this is scientific or anything but, I have been in the airline industry for about 12 years and the divorce rate among pilots I have met and flown with seems to mirror that of the general population.

 

[CHQFA00]

Not that this is scientific or anything but, I have been in the airline industry for about 12 years and the divorce rate among pilots I have met and flown with seems to mirror that of the general population.

I think it depends on what airline. When I was working at a regional, I did not see as much shanigans as I did at the charter airline I worked at. I guess it had to do with the QOL. At the charter, divorce rate was runing rapid, and if you were married, you were screwing someone else. I guess that's what happens when your stuck in Germany for 24 days straight.

Anywho... to the original poster, find a woman that can handle it, or move on. Period.

 

[Buzo]

I haven't been married very long, 2.5 years, but my wife has been with me for every flying job I have had. Although she doesn't like me gone all the time, she is independant enough to handle it. She is the biggest supporter of my career, and she is the one who talked me into commuting so I could upgrade. The upgrade will hopefully help us out in the long run.

I went to upgrade class when she was 5 months pregnant. I think it is harder for me to be gone on reserve than for her. My daughter is a month old right now, but with webcams and cell phones I get to see and talk to them everyday.

If you GF isn't supportive now, she never will be. I had one of those before, and one of these days I will send her a thank you card for not supporting me. If I had married her, I am sure I would be a divorce statistic. I don't have the same concern with my wife.