future wife doesn't understand

[bell47]

I have been working as an A&P/IA for the last couple of years so I've been at home so to speak. I recently got laid off and need to go back to flying as there are no other mechanic jobs around. This means one of two things either we pack our stuff sell the house and move,( which she says she won't do so it's not really an option), or I'll have to be gone while flying for multiple days in a row. Now she says this would be OK but tears up and and throws out the comment " I would never stop you from doing what you want to do". I've tried explaining that it's not really what I want to do(being gone alot, I love the flying part) but it's a decent living and I've gotta have a job. How do I make her understand that since she won't move that I can't be at home and make a living. I've already been divorced once because I was pilot, why don't alot of women understand that pilots have to travel for a living? Why do they feel the need to act like you want to leave them? Any suggestions would REALLY be appriciated! bell47

 

[SSDD]

You've had your warning!

You need to decide which one you love more, flying or the girlfriend, because you're not going to have both. She's told you how she feels, and that's not likely to change.

If you chose commuting you'll both be miserable and then its just a matter of time...

It may sound cold hearted, but whatever you do don't get married until you're SURE you've sorted things out. If flying is what you love, then maybe you're not a match.

Godd luck.

 

[pilotyip]

take the flying job, see how it works out. If she calls it quits you will know you have made the right move. If she understands and adjusts to it, you may have keeper.

 

[luvu]

When I was dating my wife of 17 years we went to a lot of movies. A lot of movies have the typical scene where the soldier, policeman, fireman, etc has to go off to do his job which can be difficult enough, but then the whining wife adds to the man's burden by placing a guilt trip on him for serving his country, serving the public, or just being dedicated to his profession.

After watching several of these whining women making the man's job that much more difficult, my then girlfriend, turned to me and expressed her vomitous disgust for the kind of woman displayed in the movies.

I knew she was a keeper and proposed to her right away and married within a few months. That was 17 years ago.

I suggest you RUN FAST away from your girlfriend. Her behaviour is so far completely out of line that it disgusts me just as it disgusted my wife all those years ago.

 

[McNugget]

What movies are those, I need to go to blockbuster now!

 

[luvu]

It is a well established and sickening roll in american movies and apparently in real life to the horror and misfortune of the working/traveling spouse.

The last one my wife and I went to was "The Guardian." An enjoyable movie. The whining wife roll is reincarnated and again my own wife expressed her disgust.

 

[pilots-wife]

Wow….be careful…it just gets harder. Missing birthdays, holidays, etc. If you have kids, she will never understand why you are not able to be at their school functions.

I take some flack for being in these discussions asking questions for my husband…some people have been quite rude…but I don’t care. I do not support them. I support my husband, and if there is anything I can do to make his job easier, I will. I am as much involved with my husbands career as I can be…that is how we work. WE ARE A TEAM. We both have to sacrifice certain things. He misses some of the kid’s things, and I have to go alone. It really makes us value the time he is home.

My thoughts are… if your girlfriend, no matter how wonderful she is, does not understand your career (and most likely your passion for flying), it will never work.

Good Luck!

 

[moonlight]

Geez, after a few days at home, scrounging around, throwing off everyone's routine, beating the kids, I'm not too sure who is more excited for me to leave on a trip...me or her!!

 

[Stifler's Mom]

Geez, after a few days at home, scrounging around, throwing off everyone's routine, beating the kids, I'm not too sure who is more excited for me to leave on a trip...me or her!!

No truer words have ever been uttered on these boards!!!!!!

People always ask me how I keep my marriage alive by being gone 2 weeks a month. I remember seeing some quote about, "two mighty oaks cannot grow in eachother's shadow."

 

[Gatorman]

A.I.D.S.
Aviation Induced Divorce Syndrome

Maybe she should find you a better job or shut the h_ll up!

If you two are truely in love and want to make it happen, you have to talk about it and work hard at it.
A job is no reason to flush down a marriage.