Funny Dispatching Stories

[aveator]

LMAO,,just another day of living the dream in aviation....:beer:

 

[J.Otto]

thanks for the laughs!

 

[Squirrel29]

Charter airline business is funny you always get the most wierdiest things happening to you.

First one that I think of happened back in 99-00 was supposed to fly a NBA team out of DCA to ATL. Had a pressurization problem and the team didnt want to fly unpressurized so they sat at the FBO for about 4 hours while we tried to fix the aircraft. At the same time we had a flight going into IAD to drop off a team and then take a hockey team to RDU. Well we decided to get the NBA team to go over to IAD and use that aircraft and the hockey team was willing to fly on the aircraft that had pressurization problems (MEL'ed). So I called up the trainer and told him the plan and that they would need to secure there own transportation to IAD. Called the FBO a few minutes later and the lady said it the funniest site she had ever seen. 6'7" players grabbing any taxi, limo available and squeezing as many as they could in there. Called the Pilot over at IAD and told him the story and gave him a heads up so he wouldnt bust out laughing when they arrived.

 

[T/SF34/A]

We were taking Sen John Kerry to Iowa back around 03-04 and the people who hired us for the charter gave us the wrong FBO information. Upon arrival, the plane went to the FBO which was listed in the charter package...wrong FBO! It didnt take long to realize that they were on the wrong ramp. Eventually Mr. Kerry was dropped of where he should have been in the first place. After that day, the charter company updated our FBO list.

 

[Buck_Boley]

Several years ago the company decided to cater in a Thanksgiving dinner from Boston Market for the guys who had to work. Everyone enjoyed a nice feast but afterwards there was still 3-4 huge trays of food left. When I came into work the next day, the first thing I thought of when I got in was scoring some leftovers, but when I opened the refrigerator, there was no food left.

I immediately thought those greedy late shift guys had eaten not only their dinner but polished off ours as well, but when they got in, the first words out of their mouths was -- "Hey sweet - we get leftovers today." I thought it was a joke and said, "Yeah how did you guys eat all that food." They replied, "What are you talking about - we left 8 huge trays of food in there!!"

Well it didn't take long to figure what happened. There was no overnight dispatcher at the time and only one maintenance controller was there in between 1 am and 3:30 am and we cornered him into telling what happened. Evidently, "Re" Todd the mx controller took all 8 industrial sized trays of food and stuffed them into his station wagon and took it all home!! He laughed and said he didn't think anyone else wanted it!! His family was eating leftovers well into December and everyone in the office was NOT happy. Not only did he receive the wrath of all the dispatchers, controllers and schedulers who would have enjoyed an extra snack or two, he earned the nickname "The Grinch who stole Thanksgiving" and was also named the first official "Turkey of the Year."

"He took all our corn.......he took our roast beast
He took everything we had from our Thanksgiving feast!!!!"

I am not sure what ever happened to the Grinch as he left a few years later but the story is always brought up on Thanksgiving Day and has become a ritual as well as the ReTodd Memorial Turkey of the year award. If you ever see him at your airline though, I strongly urge you to guard your lunch, especially on Thanksgiving because he will probably strike again!!

 

[DX Rick]

Once had to cancel a flight because our male FA decided to close out the bar, and got overly wasted. When he never showed for the van the pilots went to his room, where the manager let them in to find his drank, naked butt laying on the bathroom floor.
He was warned not to go to the airport, but he did. He was sent back to the hotel room where he sobered up, positive spaced back to MDW and then fired.
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We had 3 airplanes (out of 17) frozen in LEX one morning, thanks to an ice storm.
On top of snow storms, the day went to shiat. One flight crew who was told to go get food and relax as their schedule was being rearranged, couldn't comprehend. They kept calling us to see if it was ok to go get food. Then checking to see what their schedule was like. Then to see if it was ok to watch TV in the crew room.
Finally one of the DX'ers yelled "Jesus Christ! Do I need to come down there and hold your Fing hand!?!?!"...They never called back.

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We had a captain call us on the radio and said that he would be spending his 4 hour break in the cockpit of the airplane. We later find out that the FA that he had been banging, her husband showed up in OPs and was looking for him. He knew he was safe on the ramp, so that's where he hid.

 

[onewithwings]

I have a few but I'm going to refrain from posting the "good ones" because I know we have "eyes" that check these boards. Most are FA related.

Had to cancel a flight because the FA refused the flight due to no clean panties. (We now refer to her as the "primadonna panty princess".) Evidently she didn't realize you can actually wash your "skivies" in the sink and we had no reserve FA's for that base.

Had FA's refuse a revenue flight because the aircraft pressurization system was deferred. The route they were to fly is always and has been always planned at 090.

Back when I worked graveyard, I was the only person in the building. No MX and no CX at the time. I received a call from a hotel manager to inform me one of our FA's had been arrested. He went on to explain that this FA (married male) had a "lady of the evening" in his room who had been tied to the bed. Evidently they were practicing some "S&M" because there was lots of leather and chains strewn around the room. Long story short, the police had to break the door down to gain access due to the loud music and her screaming. Not long afterward, the Captain called and informed me that his flight will be delayed due to crew rest and that he needed a replacement FA. When everyone arrived in the morning, I was taken into a private room to discuss the evenings events with admin....which was difficult to keep a straight face. (I can assure you no one left that room with a straight face. Everyone was chocking back laughter.)

 

[T/SF34/A]

Yea....I have a lot of the "good stories", unfortunately those will never make this board......

Rescue Mission:
Broken aircraft in ORF and 70 passengers stranded, aircraft ferried out for repair. Our code share partner calls and begs for us to move a spare to protect the passengers. Crew (2 pilots AND 2 flight attendants) are called out to the rescue. Pilots are notified of entire crew and are aware of FA show times. Aircraft departs on the repo early. It looks like the rescue mission will be a success until FAs call around 30 minutes AFTER departure looking for the pilots. Rescue mission....Failure.

 

[JonnyQwan]

Long ago, back in the Farmington days, I was spatchin for Mesa. One day, being it was Mesa, we had about every 1900 in PHX down for the count on mx. There was a 1900 that needed to stiff leg to FMN for mx and since just about everything else was broke and there were many non revs there trying to get back home to FMN. The company okayed the flight to go with non revs only. One of the gate agents made an announcement for all non rev pax trying to get to FMN to come up to the gate. A couple of our dxers were among the group. Gate agent tells all the non revs to follow here downstairs into the crew lounge. Once down there, the agent lets everyone know that there would be a plane stiff legging back to FMN in 20 mins or so and they brought them all downstairs so all the paying pax up in the gate areas, who are all on serious mx delays wouldn't find out that a plane would be leaving with nothing but non revs, as there might be a riot. Anyway, 20 mins or so later, a ramper opens the door to the ramp and signals for all of the 16 or 17 of these folks to make a mad dash out to the waiting aircraft. They quickly load up, and as the FO is getting ready to shut the cabin door, he makes the following announcement, "well everybody, this is the non rev express to FMN, everyone here is a non rev, correct? A lady in the backs pipes up, "what's a non -rev?", just as the cabin door is being raised. The FO, then seeks further info from the lady. Lady, you didn't pay for your ticket, correct? The lady then replies.... Hell, yes I paid for this ticket, they got forward the full walk up fare out of me because it was short notice! A few seconds later, the cabin door opens back up, the full fare lady pax is sent packin, and the plane full of non-revs were happily along their way! I have thought many times what was going on thru that lady's mind as Mesa Airlines had secretly packed her in a room beneath the main gates, and she was told not to let any of the other Mesa passengers know that she and these other "lucky passengers" were going to be snuck out onto a plane and secretly flown to there destination, all so the other unluckys would not riot in the gate area....... and then to be thrown back into the group of unknowing, unlucky, full fare paying passengers, that were well on their way to nowhere anytime soon, all for asking "what's a non rev?".

 

[Pull To Guns]

J.Q., I always enjoyed your stories of the "colorful" characters in the Mesa DX office when you worked there.

Although I didn't personally experience this, it is part of SKYW folklore. Apparently a pilot called his dispatcher and chewed him out because he accused said dispatcher of putting the wrong flight number, wrong captain, wrong city pair, wrong aircraft registration and wrong fuel on the release. Yep, you guessed it, this four-striped jerk picked up the WRONG RELEASE!