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Fluxjet Announces Massive DC-3 Order

Dooker

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From AINal

CLEVELAND--In a move aimed at carving out yet another niche from among the crowded menu of choices available to today's fractional flyer, perennial also-ran Fluxjet today announced plans to take delivery of a fleet of aging DC-3's.

"People are sick of jets but they just don't realize it," company CEO Ken Ricky stated during a morning press conference in this stinking Rustbelt cesspit where dreams go to die. "This is a truly exciting opportunity for us to show everyone just how stupid they are."

The planes, fifty in all, have spent the last two decades gathering dust in the jungle near Lagos, Nigeria. Many lack engines, while still others are nothing but vine-covered fuselages which look more fit for scrap than the high-flying world of private aviation.

But when Ricky caught sight of them rotting on the steaming jungle floor during one of his frequent globetrotting layovers, he sensed a rare opportunity to tap into a burgeoning market for a bygone age of travel.

"This is a value-added proposition all the way around," said Ricky, whose Nonexistant Aerospace will meticulously overhaul each of the planes at its Cleveland facility, fitting them out with everything from new engines and avionics to bespoke, one-of-a-kind interiors complete with the latest gadgets for the traveler with lots of time to kill.

And just how much time? According to the company, a flight from New York to West Palm Beach will clock in at just under thirteen hours.

"Make no mistake, this is a boutique offering," said Ricky.

Ricky said the vintage Douglases will be flown by dedicated crews handpicked for their eagerness to make whatever sacrifices might be necessary to keep the planes in tip-top shape while pleasing customers and performing oral sex acts on anyone who might request it.

According to a press release, the company's latest offering should be available sometime in the latter half of 2025--well before Fluxjet is scheduled to take delivery of its first flying car, 900 of which the company placed options on earlier last year.
 

superfly

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Great post! Will there be training in how to perform the oral sex acts to the Flops standard, you know, half ass?
 

doh

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Directionless?
 

CALRepublic

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Haha. That's a funny post
 

pilotyip

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Awesome I am typed and a FAA Examiner in the DC-3. I can set up contract training. Who do i contact?
 
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